I Need To Take A Chrump

What Was I Thinking?

Mistakes Were Made
April 4, 2016

I just can’t keep up with this guy. While I was writing my last piece Chrump went further than ever in spelling out exactly what he is about. First he declared that once abortions are outlawed any woman getting one should be punished. Then he said that the doctor, not the woman should be punished, possibly nuked. Then he insisted that for men, women and children alike, he would not take nuclear weapons off the table for dealing with trouble. You know, like when Megan Kelly mistreats him on the teevee. Maybe his mouth should talk to him before it opens itself to speak.

Tune in tomorrow when Chrump’s mouth says, “I have the best mouth. I do. The best mouth ever. Nobody has a better mouth than I do. It’s just a fact. But my mouth does not necessarily speak for me or my campaign. I cannot be held responsible for every thing that ass hole says. I am not my mouth. And you can quote me on that.”

I know that as a news junkie/reporter it is my responsibility to pay attention to detail. Perhaps statements like the one above by Pouty McFuckface should have tipped me off. I am not trying to make excuses. I suppose I got caught up in all the excrement…I mean excitement. I, as you are painfully aware, have been closely watching the candidacy of Donald Chrump and have always tried to be objective (well, objecting but I think they’re pretty much the same thing) and observant. Or so I thought.

Pouty McFuckface

It seems I have misjudged Mr. Chrump in an embarrassing way. I hope I can be excused for not realizing that the hole under his nose, considering what comes out of that particular orifice moment after moment, day after day, for more months than anyone can believe, was actually his mouth. I know that its location just above his orange chin should have tipped me off. Maybe I’m getting slow in my old age but I would have sworn that thing was a sphincter of the sort typically found at the other end of the feeding/elimination tube. My bad. Chrump obviously talks out of both ends of his tube with equal aplomb. It’s just difficult to determine which end is which. Nonetheless I certainly hope he doesn’t try to kiss Ted Cruz’s wife with that thing.

Are we absolutely sure that thing is a mouth?
Either way, avoid standing directly in front of it.

He’s Got His Back

Behind every good man there is a strong woman. Behind Donald Chrump there is ardent supporter Ann Coulter saying, “Our candidate is mental! Do you realize our candidate is mental? It’s like constantly having to bail out your sixteen-year-old son from prison.” The ladies love him. They love him.

Still Can’t Keep Up

While I was writing this Chrump changed his position on abortion and the punishing of women and/or doctors therefore a couple more times. The Art of the Flip Flop. It isn’t that Chrump is off message, except for the part where every other Republican’t hides their message and Chrump is too ignorant use the lingo. He says exactly what they think, but will never say aloud. And they hate him for this. Idiot that he is, he has accidentally outed the lot of them. Chrump’s insane original position on abortion – punishing women who get them – is the same as that of most Republican’ts including Cruz and Kasich (who has done just about everything in his power as governor of Ohio to limit women’s rights and health. In February, he signed a bill preventing Planned Parenthood from getting $1.3 million in state and federal funding, including funds for a program to reduce infant mortality. As always, these hypocrites only care about fetuses. Not women. Not children.

Chrump, when asked by John Dickerson if he thought abortion was murder said, "I have my opinions on it, but I'd rather not comment on it. I mean, I do have my opinions on it. I just don't think it's an appropriate forum." Excuse me sir, but my understanding is that you are running for president. That is what you have been intimating…or at least your mouth has. I cannot think of a more appropriate forum in which to discuss issues of law. But what do I know? I’m not a reality show star…I mean candidate for president so this might not be an appropriate forum.

As anyone within the sight of my voice will be unsurprised to learn, Chrump is refusing to say he will rule out a third party run. It depends on how he is treated. Poor baby.

And Now…Old News

The more things change, the more Chrump stays the same.

I. Mangrey reporting. If you can read this you’re too darn close.

UPDATED: 10:20 PM April 6, 2016

“All of the worst things we know about Donald Trump have come from his mouth.” Lawrence O’Donnell

                                                                                                                         Mad in USA