Foibles

The Boy Who Cried NO COLLUSION

March 29, 2019 

The Mewler Report

Practically everyone, for one reason or another, is making a big deal about Chrump claiming that the Mueller report resulted in “a complete and total exoneration,” and once again yelling at the world – NO COLLUSION.  This familiar barrage began again after Chrump’s specially selected Attorney General Bill Barr, who wrote 19 pages stating that Mueller’s investigation was illegal, wrote his “summary,” which included the phrase “while this report does not conclude that the President has committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”  Ever undaunted by the facts, Donald Chrump immediately and very strongly – however pathetic, disingenuous and psychotic – repeated his oft-repeated chorus, “No Collusion!  No Collusion!”

I do not understand all the excitement.  At every turn, for any reason, for no reason, on an almost daily basis, Chrump has whined, screamed, moaned and tweeted in all caps – NO COLLUSION.

He shouted from the fairway, he shouted from the green,
“No collusion!  No collusion!  Not that I’ve seen.”

The Boy Who Cried NO COLLUSION

There was once an old Man Boy who accidentally became president of the most powerful nation on Earth.  He was a rather lonely, pathetic little man, lying every moment about his obvious collusion with enemies to “win” his election, so he thought upon a plan by which he could trick people to believe his lies.  He screamed and tweeted at all hours of every day and every night to the village tapping and calling out “NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION,” and many of the villagers were stupid enough to believe him, though many of them knew he was totally full of shit.  The boy was always pleased with himself, and ignored the smarter people and continued the same trick, day after day, month after month and now year after year.  Then, one day, his loyal assistant claimed there was in fact no collusion, but there might have been collusion, and the boy of course cried out “NO COLLUSION, NO COLLUSION,” still louder and oftener than before.  By this time more and more of the villagers, who had grown more and more tired of this bellowing buffoon and his laundry list of lies, realized the boy was again deceiving them, and nobody stirred to come to his help.  So, the Congress of the village decided to keep investigating until all the facts were exposed for all the village to see, a wise man of the village said”

“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.”
 

Finally, the boy’s very strict step-mother sent the boy to his room without Twitter.

And no one ever heard or saw the boy again.
Everyone but the boy lived happily ever after.

The Party That Cried Healthcare

It has been eight years since Obmacare became law.  Since that moment, Republican’ts have tried almost 100 times to kill it.  During that time, Obama’s Affordable Care Act has only become more popular with the public.  Unperturbed by public opinion and desperate to appease their corporate masters, McConnell, Ryan (since expunged) and the party of Nixon relentlessly and cluelessly strove to eradicate health care in America.  At some point the Republican’t mantra became “repeal and replace.”  At no point however, did they ever bother to even pretend to have a plan to replace anything.  Right now, Hair Chrump is screaming about the expensive premiums, crippling deductibles, and the fact that Obama did it. 

As always, Republican’ts, now cemented to President Albatross, are trying to con the American public that Democratic policies are to blame for corporate thievery.  Chrump says that Republican’ts will be the “part of healthcare.”  Many Americans know that insurance companies are the ones killing people with unaffordable premiums and deductibles – not Obama, or his care.  These people crushed Republican’ts at the polls in 2018, and are chomping at the bit to do it again in 2020.

I. Mangrey repurposing.