Fun With Fascism

Julius Sleazer

August 13, 2020

It has been said that whatever else, under Mussolini’s fascism Italy’s trains ran on time. Turns out this nothing more than typical fascist propaganda. Though Italy’s trains did not actually have an immaculate scheduling record, they had improved from their previous horrible performance record…before Il Duce seized power. But he did take credit for the improvement. Sound familiar?

America’s modern-day fascist dictator couldn’t give two shits about whether the trains run on time, he probably never rode a train and therefore may very well not know they exist. Il Douche has set his Mr. Magoo-like sights on another important public service. Up until a week or so ago, the United States Postal Service, despite working under considerable fiscal handicap, was a very dependable public service. But Chrump is fixing that. Under fascist Chrump’s hateful eye, we are seeing the purposeful slow-down of mail delivery. This is no coincidence. It turns out that people who intend to vote by mail – probably because fascist Republican’ts have closed down so many polling places that these folks know they will have to wait in line for hours and hours, if they can even get to the closest polling location – heavily favor Democratic candidates.

Mr. Magoosolini

So, just in case closing most of the polling sites in Democratic-leaning districts, illegally purging voting rolls in those same regions, and the much sought-after Russian interference IMPEACHED president fascist Chrump has been cultivating for over four years, are not enough to steal the election, fascist Chrump’s latest hench-monkey is busily blowing the United States Postal Service to smithereens at a breakneck pace.

Joe Biden has bolstered his chances of winning a fair election by partnering up with Kamala Harris (not my favorite choice, but likely a good one as far as America’s current political landscape). But this will not be anything like a fair election. While Republican’ts have had their election-stealing machine turned up to ten for quite some time, now that they are the party of fascist Chrump, there is no way to measure the level of sleazery.

Be afraid people, be very afraid. There is no chance in hell, or America – if these are not one in the same – that Der Furor can win a fairly held election. As fascist Chrump told us not so long ago, (and remember as you read this, that he is always and only talking about himself) “2020 will be the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election in history. It will be a great embarrassment to the USA.” And he is working harder than he ever has (which is to say, at all) to see to it.

Next stop: Stay tuned for maximum racism.

I. Mangrey reporting. Only 82 more cheating days ‘til Election Day.