Best Sequel Ever. Ever.

The Latest Imminent Demise of Donald Tmurp

February 23, 2022

Now that ex-Commoder-in-chief Tmrup has been caught with boxes of classified documents that he did not flush down the toilet, now that Tmrup’s accounting firm has tossed him out on his badly dyed ear claiming that any numbers they received from Tmrup’s “businesses” over the past nine years cannot be trusted, now that one judge has ruled that the two Dons and Ivanka must testify in Letitia James’ criminal case (Eric already testified, pleading The Fifth 500 times), and a federal judge found that Tmrup can be held accountable for his leading role in the Jan 6^th insurrection in a civil case filed by several members of Congress and members of law enforcement who were under threat of death that day. The civil case has the potential of massive dollar awards to the plaintiffs. These will not be like the pittances Tmrup paid to some number of porn stars to keep quiet, meaning Team Tmrup may have serious problems meeting expenses after all the payouts. Have we got a deal for him and his crime family, and it gets him squarely in front of the cameras again, where he always longs to be.

An excited television executive producer, after being pitched this show said, “We’ve got a sequel that will absolutely crush the original series. In most cases, the sequel simply bombs. Best case scenario, it does almost as well as the original. Not this time. What we have here is pure television gold. No! Diamonds! They’re forever, right? Nobody will be able to resist this obvious mega-hit. It will kick off with a block of weeknight prime time episodes, but the plan – if this thing goes the way we think it will, sponsors are literally begging us for slots – is to create something like C-SPAN. That’s right, 24/7 baby. All Tmrups all the time. No one will be able to touch these ratings. Believe me. This will make reality TV great again. The greatest. We would like to thank Rudy Giuliani, the once-and-future crack-head Mike “My Stupid-Fucking-Pillow Guy” Lindell and of course, the one and only Big Don Tmrup. No one did more to make this blatantly criminal family what they are today. We love you Donny.”

TV Or Not TV, That Is the Question

Get ready for the most addicting reality TV of all time. This will be the biggest, most terrific, most beautiful show ever. This is no hoax folks. Join us for

TMRUP FAMILY HOUSE ARREST

They’re all together, forever, having a ball…and chain

Many people said that Tmrup could do whatever he wanted – and for so many, too many years he simply did. Fake Tmrup charity, phony Tmrup University, fake billions in wealth. Grab ‘em by the p*$$y…well, he said he could, they called it assault, rape pedophilia. He thought he could pay some of them off to keep quiet about his affairs, but then his “attorney” blew the whole thing up and spilled the beans. Tmrup said he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose a single vote. As it turned out, doing that might have been less of a problem than what he actually did. Conspiracy, money laundering, campaign finance violations, fraud, tax evasion, obstruction of justice, attempted coup, immeasurable ignorance. He’s lucky that racism and fascist tendencies are not in and of themselves, crimes. Tmrup also reportedly flushed presidential documents down the toilet – the very same toilet he drank out of.

Anyway, the whole whacky Tmrup family will all finally be back home where they belong, in their big beautiful Mor-on-Lago, but now they will all be together all of the time. All of them. All the time. They can get in, but they can’t get out. Doomed to a life of McDonald’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Diet Coke, and all the court documents they can eat. Delivered right to their door – because they cannot leave. They’re all under house arrest.

The house that fake wealth built bought

Beautiful(?), soon-to-be-bankrupt Mor-on-Lago

The Electoral College cannot save them now. Never again will they eat or visit or slowly sip their much-loved Covfefe. They will not enjoy another visit to the very beautiful mountain beaches of Nambia – the island nation that exists only in the fevered mind of their child patriarch, little Donny, Sr. The beautiful island of Nambia. An island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water. And, it is landlocked.

This time for real, he will not be visiting his many fabulous golf courses worth millions or thousands of dollars, depending on who is asking. All those tax cuts he gave himself? Can’t use them where he’s not going.

The realest TV you will ever see. The most fun you will ever have. Don’t miss it. Don’t miss them. Let’s get Tmrup the greatest ratings in television history. Make America greater than ever, or at least greater than the Tmrup days. It’s a low bar after all. Not so much a bar as a chalk line on the ground.

Turn on, tune in, throw up.

The Paying Attention™ Team