Recent History Lessin’

Losin’ Collins

February 6, 2022

The following is really all you need to know about today’s (and yesterday’s for that matter) Ratpublican Party:

Donald Turmp was the most disgraceful, unqualified, anti-democratic candidate ever to run for the presidency, yet he became the Ratpublican standard-bearer.

He and countless members of his campaign worked with Russia to defeat Hillary Clinton.

Turmp lied relentlessly every single day he was in office, ultimately totaling 30573 over 4 years*…that we know of, since we also know that he had a habit of (illegally) tearing up countless presidential documents by hand, causing a need for aides to reconstruct them per the Presidential Records Act of 1978, mandating the preservation of all presidential records (Hmmmm, wonder why we needed that law). As we now know, this includes records that have been hand-shredded (sometimes to confetti-sized pieces) by a criminal president who spent more than a year screaming about Hillary Clinton’s handling of her communications.

He was impeached for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, related to his personal attempts to strongarm the president of Ukraine into bringing bogus charges against Hunter Biden. The Ratpublican Senate refused to convict, despite overwhelming evidence of high crimes and/or misdemeanors delivered by numerous patriots who witnessed Turmp’s depredations.

After being bailed out by his enablers, Turmp took revenge against everyone who told the truth about his criminal activities.

Turmp’s enablers, sycophants, suck-ups and sock puppets

Turmp stood up for Nazis, white nationalists, Confederate fetishists, and Qanon (who he claimed he knew nothing about except “they like me very much”), and Vladimir Putin at every turn.

He probably provided more aid and comfort to the COVID-19 virus than any person on the planet, was verifiably responsible for hundreds of thousands of American deaths, and suggested people drink disinfectant as a treatment for the virus he nurtured.

After losing in a landslide to Joe Biden, Trump insisted the election was stolen, spread his Big Lie, and mounted a vast campaign to overthrow the government. This campaign culminated (in truth, it remains ongoing) in Turmp inciting a horrendous terror attack on the Capitol, where his supporters tried to hang Mike Pence, assaulted and in some cases murdered law-enforcement, smeared feces on the Capitol walls, and attempted to steal documents necessary to ceremonially certify the Electoral College count on January 6, 2021.

To top off the most disgusting presidency in American history (and that’s saying something), Turmp is impeached a record second time. Again, mountains of incontrovertible audio and video evidence presented by House managers were not enough to convince Senate Ratpublicans to convict the obvious, shameless criminal. The one many of them rightly, albeit briefly, blamed for the attempted coup.

Dangling Pardons, Simple

As if all of that was not sufficient to disqualify this deplorable douchebag from ever showing his face in public again, let alone running for office, Turmp recently told rally-goers in Texas, “Another thing we’ll do – and so many people have been asking me about it – if I run and if I win, we will treat those people from January 6 fairly. We will treat them fairly. And if it requires pardons, we will give them pardons. Because they are being treated so unfairly.” I assume he has a good treason for saying this.

Presumably, neither Turmp nor his simple-minded, seditious supporters understand that pardoning someone presumes, and enshrines for all time, the fact that the pardoned party was guilty in the first place. They also missed the fact that Turmp was still technically president for two weeks after his failed coup, and could have theoretically pardoned all his little criminals then. But that is only because he thinks they are all suckers and losers. Or maybe because not one of those fuckers was arrested during the four-hour-long assault.  Nonetheless, Turmp did not stop at offering up phony pardons for the traitors who attacked the Capitol. He urged his mindless minions to “protest” should any court dare put him on trial for any of the many crimes for which he is currently on the eve of indictment. We all know what Turmp means when he talks about white folks protesting.

But wait, there’s more…there’s always more…

Apparently not satisfied with the current state of indictments against him, Turmp took a few moments to reiterate that he attempted a coup, whining that the House Select Committee on Jan 6, which he claims is fraudulent, should be investigating Mike Pence for not “overturning the election” – his words…and mine.

Nonetheless, Susan Collins (and an as yet unofficial number of other Ratpublican office-holders) would not rule out voting for the disgraced, twice-impeached, seditious, ex-president and failed blogger should he again be the party’s nominee in 2024. Collins, you may recall, was given permission by another Russian loyalist – Moscow Mitch McConnell – to vote in favor of the second impeachment. Collins probably thinks Turmp will have learned his lesson by then.

Now, I Digress…

Can’t wait to see how the ever-concerned-about-everything-except-what-she-should-be-concerned-about Collins will vote on Biden’s undoubtedly qualified and undoubtedly African-American woman nominee to the Supreme Court. We already know her boss McConnell would prefer a “real” American. Collins has already expressed her patented concern about “the way that the president has handled this nomination,” which she whined was “clumsy at best.” This of course, has nothing whatsoever to do with the quality of any potential nominee.

Clearly, Ratpublicans insist (believe?) that only white males are capable of looking at issues of race, gender, class, whatever, objectively.

I find it amusing that anyone would give one iota of credit to Mike Pence for, after 13 months of unrelenting cowardice, finally saying that his former owner was “wrong” about Pence being able to “overturn the election.” Worse late than never. Pence is nothing but a self-serving cynic looking to salvage his political future. I would not even waste a gallows on him. He deserves nothing but our bile. And maybe a show on Spotify.

I also find it amusing that so many Ratpublicans act like Turmp is an aberration. He is not. He is them and they are him. All con, all the time. No shame, no guts, no class. Gross. Old. Party. Fuck ‘em.

And just to put the urine-infused icing on this seven-layer feces-flavored cake, the Ratpublican National Committee has now officially, purposely, in writing, with no sense of shame, irony or fascism, labeled the murderous, shit-stained, treasonous January 6, 2021 terror attack on the Capitol as “ordinary citizens engaged in legitimate political discourse.”

And, so to bed.

Leonard Cohen – Everybody Knows

*In the spirit of undeserved generosity, we will assume three “working” days per week times four years (remember, Turmp also “worked” very short days, and took 307 golf days, so really at best he “worked” approximately 400-500 days, but we’ll ignore all that) which means Turmp lied some 50 times per “work” day. One would be excused for thinking he had some kind of lying bonus in his contract with Putin.

I. Mangrey, more concerned than Susan Collins.