Lock Them Up…Where We Can Keep An Eye On Them

They’re Fired

February 21, 2022

Paying Attention™ Goes Hollywood

You have never seen reality TV before. Ever. You may think you have, but you are wrong. Believe me. Hear me now and thank me later. I alone can fix this. Forget the Kardashians, the Real Housewives, Survivor, Big Brother and all the rest of the fake-reality TV pasteurized, processed entertainment product. Here comes the real deal. You will not be able to look away. You will not watch any other shows. You will seriously consider quitting your job. I mean, more than usual. The best, most beautifully terrific entertainment is coming soon.

The Tmrup Show, which officially lasted five of the longest seasons in television history. It brought us some of the most riveting alternative reality programming this side of Fear Factor. It gave a grifting psycho tv “personality” a starring role to end all roles. And plot twists beyond belief. The guy who should have been voted off the show in the first five minutes, after flaunting his racist bona fides at the bottom of “his” golden escalator, ended up in the White House. Polling showed that most Americans would have been less surprised, and had more confidence in leadership if Mr. Ed had become president.

The Tmrup “men” after learning they must testify in New York State,
and the looming new reality show they cannot escape
The two Dons are delusional; Eric has no idea what’s happening

With each grueling episode, the majority of his audience hung in there, despite their better judgment, only to grow more weary, more disgusted, more emotionally and mentally unstable day after day, month after month and year after fucking year. Obviously, there were some who cherished their Human-Cheeseburger-in-chief, and hung on his every ill-advised, incoherent, insincere tweet, the thousands of senseless lies, and endless idiocy. Oh, and the racism – Tmrup made Archie Bunker look like the Fresh Prince. The feces-flinging-faithful watched with glee, while most of us looked on with clenched fists, teeth and eyes. But, we all continued to watch, however painful it became. And, as you well know, it was perpetually and profusely painful right up until it was mercifully cancelled.

So what will we do now for entertainment? Watch black people get assaulted and murdered by racist cops and assorted civilians? Watch all our coastal cities drown in climate-crisis sea level rise? Hope that Russia sets off nuclear combat by invading Ukraine? Watch Bitch McConnell decay right before our tired eyes? All electrifying cell-phone-based reality-tv video to be sure. But not good enough. America needs something so special, so inspiring, so hysterically fucking funny as to literally crack thousands of ribs across this great, bigly land of ours.

Tune in next time to learn about an exciting new television event you won’t want to miss.

Ed Venture

Managing Editor, Paying Attention™