Helter Chrumpster

Indefensible 

September 24, 2016 

Each and every day Don finds a new way to assure the American citizenry that he knows nothing whatsoever about democracy, the Constitution or the essence of the Great American Experiment. He thinks the troops will follow his every order to commit war crimes. He believes in strong non-elected leaders are better than those who are democratically elected…or possibly even George W. Bush. He insists that the incredibly unconstitutional and proven-to-be-ineffective “stop-and-frisk” program put in place by Rudy Giulliani in New York is what black communities really need. Chrump has said that women should be punished for having perfectly legal medical procedures (the same procedures he was okay with until he needed to convince gullible anti-choice voters that he was one of them) because he thinks they should not be allowed to choose what to do with their own bodies. Well he probably is not anti-choice, but he is happy to say he is…or whatever he feels the angry mob du jour standing in front of him calls for. 

Don’s latest self-exposé of cluelessness (as of this moment, and subject to being replaced by something worse if he opens his face sphincter again) has him lamenting the fact that the New York/New Jersey bomber, who is an American citizen, is being provided with medical care, food and a lawyer. This situation, which Don considers so utterly distasteful, is completely consistent with the Constitution, and despite the potential for things not to work out the way Chrump would like, it is the American way. Our founding fathers presumably included this provision purposely. What a bunch of losers. They didn’t even want to torture British captives despite the fact that some British captors tortured captive colonists. Winners do not take this kind of crap without dishing it right back. Winners don’t help bad people get justice. They assess the situation, rashly decide you are guilty and hand out their own justice without a second (or often a first) thought. Winners are people like George Zimmerman; he did not waste time waiting for professional lawmen or questions or answers. He won. You didn’t see his obituary in the paper. Winning. This is America – when a black man makes you feel nervous you shoot first, answer questions later…or not. And when a white man – in clear violation of the law – waves a gun around in the middle of a crowd of peaceful black protesters angry that another of them was shot dead by police for being black-with-hands-in-the-air, he is politely asked to move along, completely undead. 

I hope no one tells Chrump that in 1770 John Adams – a lawyer – defended British soldiers involved in the Boston Massacre in court because he believed everyone was entitled to a fair trial and competent representation. The Constitution is obviously rigged. And don’t get me started on John Adams. Who the hell did he think he was? What did he ever do for America besides defending those murderous Redcoats? I bet Chrump can’t think of a single thing. Period.  

Chrumpy Manson

Blinded by The White: Can you find Chrump’s African American in the audience? 

I knew there was something eerily familiar about the way Chrump is pretending to court the African-American community to vote for him. Speaking to his usual 99% white audience he croaked, “We’re going to rebuild our inner cities because our African-American communities are absolutely in the worst shape that they’ve ever been in before. Ever, ever, ever.” I guess the guy who missed the whole Revolution/Constitution thing could just as easily be totally unaware of slavery, being counted as 3/5 of a person, Jim Crow, the Civil Rights Movement and countless other historical eras. None of these events affected his ability to lie, cheat, steal and discriminate. The only racially charged episode that did affect Chrump’s public standing was the Birther Era during which The Orange One was obsessed with pretending to be obsessed with Barack Obama’s birth certificate (and college transcripts and passport application). This deplorable episode made Chrump very popular with a certain demographic in America. The Basket Cases. However, it now appears that Don is disavowing any knowledge of the birtherism he so proudly championed a few years (days?) ago ever having occurred as well. In a (very clear, impressive Ron-Hubbard- type voice) deep calmly assured voice he told the world, “President Barack Obama was born in the United States. Period.”* 

Regardless, Chrump’s current babbling about black people in America is anything but original. Just as Chrump has been riding Nixon’s goat-tails with his uninformed more-stop-and-frisk-and-more-police-in-black-communities-law-and-order-bullshit, he is now channeling another American icon – Charles Manson. Among his other delusions Manson was convinced that a huge race war was in the works and that he would be the one to help usher it in. Why you ask? Because by Manson’s logic the blacks would eventually kill all the whites and end up in charge. And this is where the Chrump/Manson genius comes in: both cult leaders believe that black people are incapable of fending for themselves and need a Great White Hope to lead them. This is what Manson thought he would be and this is what Chrump is selling right this very moment. Like a big old Manson…I mean Chrump Steak. 

Chrump eats it. So should you. 

I. Mangrey reporting.
*By the time this piece was fininshed Chrump un-disavowed his Birtherism claiming he only said Obama was born in America so he could “get on with the campaign.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Mad in USA