Bits & Pieces

Make Chrump Bankrupt Again

What’s Left of The USA
October 25, 2016

The most horrifying, dangerous, dishonest, disapproved-of presidential candidate in American history continues his quest to run this country. He has no understanding of the Constitution, how our government works (such as it is), what democracy is or how to at least pretend to respect his fellow man. Certainly not his fellow nasty woman. He has absolutely no interest in rectifying any of this. The time has come to help the self-proclaimed “King of Debt” get back to where he belongs –bankruptcy. He loves him some bankruptcy – it allows him all the convenience of stiffing his creditors while simultaniously scaring the banks into not letting him go completely under. Let’s help him make it final this time so we never have to hear his big mouth or let him shove his tiny hands into our pockets…or our whatever, ever again. The entire staff here at Paying Attention has vowed never to stay in a Chrump hotel or buy any of the many low-quality-made-with-slave-labor Chrump brand whatevers. Not that we ever have or would have anyway, but we want to get a lot of credit for doing this. We probably won’t because, as you know, the system is totally rigged.

Gimme!

The Orange Jesus

Many people are saying that there is connection between Chrump and Jesus Christ. I know not what course others may take, but whenever I see or hear Chrump I tend to scream out a certain oft invoked name. In some ways I am not alone. According to Jerry Falwell, Jr, “Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus taught.” Michele Bachmann said that “at the end of the day God raised up, I believe Donald Trump who was going to be the nominee in this election.” Many of Chrump’s devotees see him as a Christ figure, a god if you will. Displaying the incredible humility that made him what he is, Chrump readily admits that the Bible is a better book than his own The Art of The Deal (which he apparently neither wrote nor read). Truly humble. One thing he has done religiously throughout his life is avoid going to church. Chrump has no time for the poor, the downtrodden, the meek or anything resembling what Jesus taught. He does cherish women…in his own speical way. And you don’t have to take the Chrump/Christ connection from me or Falwell or Bachmann, et al. Here we have it straight from the whore’s mouth: “I never knew that it would be this vile, that it would be this bad, that it would be this vicious. Nertheless I take all these slings and arrows gladly for you and many political experts warned me that this campaign would be a journey to hell. They said that. But they’re wrong, it will be a journey to heaven.” Now if we could only find a way to get him to die for our sins…or maybe for his. Discuss.

Chrump is a well-rounded individual. He embodies many traits that exist in human beings, many of whom inhabit the United States of America Being Made Great Again. So many people are simply one-dimensional. But not Chrump. He is something of a renaissance man. He is part drunk redneck, part tinpot dictator, part Bill Cosby and part deranged mental patient. If you’re lucky you missed him saying, “Hillary Clinton meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of US sovereignty. This is a conspiracy against you the American people and we can not let this happen or continue.” That’s right; we cannot let it happen, or if it is already happening and I just don’t know about it because I’m too busy doing my “hair” then we can’t let it continue. It just makes you wonder if he can even hear himself when he speaks. 

Chrumpnado

Chrump Tzu’s The Fart of War

Chinese general, military strategist, and philosopher Sun Tzu wrote The Art of War over 2500 years ago. It remains highly respected by students of military and business strategy the world over. Many successful American business leaders consider it a must read. Chrump is most assuredly not among them. Even without knowing that Don has probably never read a book and assuming that Chrump is in fact a successful businessman, which remains to be verified, one can be certain that he never picked this one up. A quick glace at some of the more well-known quotes from Sun Tzu reveals Chrump as embodying something well beyond the oposite of Sun Tzu’s thoughtful, insightful philosophy on strategy.

Chrump would have us believe he is the windshield, but he is – beyond any doubt now – the bug. He and the windshield are poised to make contact at about 80 miles an hour. I figure this should be around 9:15 PM EST on November 8^th.

Chrump me! Chrump me!

Not to worry though, no matter what happens Chrump will declare victory, “the best victory. No one does victories better than me.” And he will be able to live on Pennsylvania Avenue blocks  away from 1600 in his new empty hotel. (The new Chrump Whatever-it-is in DC just opened and had to offer rooms at yuuuuge discounts due to the equally yuuuuge number of vacancies while every other hotel in the area was booked solid during the big WTO meeting. So even the world’s corporate overlords don’t want to have anything to do with Chrumptopussy.) I look forward to countless reports of Chrump mooning the White House, screaming obscenities out his window, and standing outside his hotel accosting passersby and bragging about what big crowds he is attracting after the election.

 

We now have a much clearer picture of the way Don “Cosby-Lite” Chrump thinks about and apparently acts toward women. He thinks he can just freshen up his fast-food-breath and without so much as by your leave stick his tongue in their mouths, telling Billy Bush, “And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.” We have known for quite some time how attracted he is to Russia’s Vladimir Putin. I wonder if Chrump thinks he is famous enough to grab Putin by the p****r.

Black Votes Matter

Personally I am looking forward to November 9^th when we can finally get started on the 2020 presidential election.

I. Mangrey reporting.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA