Enjoy the Ides of March

The Dumbest Show on Earth

March 15, 2018

A study showed that it took a true statement about six times as long as a falsehood to be read by 1,500 people on Twitter.

Fux News is asking Elizabeth Warren to take a DNA test to prove her Native American heritage.

Steve Bannon told French neo-fascists to embrace their hate and bigotry. “Let them call you racists. Let them call you xenophobes. Let them call you nativists. Wear it as a badge of honor.” Some reports indicate that he added, “Let the rest of them wear gold stars on their sleeves.”

Speaking of which, Chrump’s sugardaddy, Putin says maybe it was Jews who interfered with our elections in order to put the Orange Gas Cloud in the White House.

Prezidents Say The Darndest Things or…
Out of The Mouths of Boobs

Meanwhile, back at the golf course, Der Furor continues his insane authoritarian assault on the media. As always, Chrump claims that every horrifying thing that comes out of his face sphincter is just him being funny. We haven’t had anything this much drop-dead funny coming from a politician since the hilarious comedy stylings of Joseph McCarthy. What a laugh riot that guy was.

Hair Chrump also continued his own racist attacks on Elizabeth Warren, dusting off his idiotic nickname of Pocahontas, and ad hominem attack on African American Congresswomen Maxine Waters, saying “She's a low IQ individual.” As always, Chrump is talking about himself.

Chrump is a rabid, cornered animal who can barely keep from soiling his diaper every few minutes while lashing out at everything and everyone around him – except for Vladimir Putin and Stormy Daniels. Could it be that these two both have dick pic of Prezident Dickhead?

This just in…

 

Our extensive investigation has shown that someone in the Chrump White House is not involved in and debauchery, spousal abuse, money laundering, porn star payoffs, conspiring with enemies of the state, embezzlement or abuse of power of any kind – including buying $30K dining room sets, $139K doors or $43K cones-of-silence (or is it cone-of-silences?). At least not this week. And, of course, this is subject to change as the interminable game of musical chairs enters round 87. No doubt the second string will be much better behaved. Probably the third and fourth as well. Unless or course, this administration comes to an untimely end for some reason.

We are prohibited from divulging the current miscreant’s name due to national security concerns. What we can share is that this individual will likely be moving on to pursue other opportunities in the near future.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled covfefe.

I. Mangrey refraining. Great Caesars’s ghost.