April 26, 2018
One of the worst things about having to keep our eye on the
Orange Gas Cloud is that he obscures another toxic blob threatening just about
everything we know and cherish. The potentially fatal blood clot in America’s
femoral artery that I am referring to is the vicious, hateful, petty
tyrant that is Mitch McConnell. No one has been more disgusting,
anti-democratic, and unfortunately, effective than the reptilian senator from Kentucky.
After Barack Obama was elected, McConnell said his primary
job was to make sure it was a one-term presidency. To that end, McConnell and
the Republican’ts obstructed Obama at every single turn. McConnell saw to it
that Obama was unable to fill vacancies on the federal bench so that now we are
seeing a parade of bozos nominated to the courts by the Republican’t
Clown-in-chief.
These selfish assholes have provided the definitive
example of George Washington’s farewell address warning that the rise of
political parties risked the loss of loyalty to country in favor of loyalty to
party. Obviously this problem has been brewing for quite some time, but late
Twentieth Century Republican’ts raised it to whatever you would call the evil
analogue of an art form.
More recently, McConnell claimed that the crowning
achievement of his time as a senator was obstructing the appointment of Antonin
Scalia’s replacement on the Supreme Court. He was hoping his party would take
the White House and replace Scalia with another virulent ideologue, even though
Obama reached across the swamp aisle and nominated Merrick Garland, who
was liked and respected by both sides, and who was confirmed to a seat on the
federal bench by a 2-1 margin in 1997. It just doesn't get much worse than that.
The Senate Majority Leader refuses to let bipartisan
legislation – designed to protect Special Counsel Robert Mueller from being
summarily dismissed by the Orange Gas Cloud – go to the floor for a vote.
McConnell insists, like his soon-to-be-ex-counterpart in the House Paul Ryan,
that there is no way Chrump would fire Mueller. You know, because Chrump is
such a stable genius, and would never do anything stupid or impetuous.
Mitch has suddenly decided that hemp, probably the single most
useful and important plant on this planet, should not be illegal to grow
anymore. You can bet your sweet bippie that McConnell’s primary motivation is
creating a soft and lucrative landing after he leaves what remains of the
Senate.
Some may recall when the misogynistic bully invoked a
little-known Senate rule to silence Sen. Elizabeth Warren in the middle of a
speech criticizing attorney general nominee Sen. Jeff Sessions.
More recently, Mitch bared his hateful gums when he read the
call for a vote on the Senate floor to allow Tammy Duckworth – the first U.S.
Senator to give birth while in office – to bring her newborn onto the floor. He
looked and sounded as though he was reading an announcement that the world
would be ending in 48 hours. McConnell is simply a disgrace to the species.
Nevertheless, he persisted.
I. Mangrey reporting. I could just plotz.
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