The Chuang Tzu Effect

Warp Your Head Around This

April 6, 2018

I wake up every day (so far), ready to go on my merry way, but invariably, and usually quite painfully, I am reminded that Donald Chrump is prezident. I remain incapable of warping my head around it. It still seems impossible. It is difficult to imagine anything more surrealistic without going full sci-fi. It is like walking around in a Salvador Dali painting sans the artistic gratification. Chrump makes Picasso’s Guernica look like Grant Wood’s American gothic. On the sanity front, Chrump makes Charles Manson look like Mr. Rogers.

Many people are of the opinion that even though one might have major disagreements with a president of the United States, one should nonetheless hope that president is successful in order that America would be successful. I fully understand this sentiment. Whether or not you vote for the winner of the presidential popularity/Electoral College contest, that individual is (in theory at least) the president of all Americans and therefore deserves our respect and our support. An understandable and decent sentiment…under normal circumstances.

All Bets Are Off, As is Everything Else

Normal circumstances are as close at hand as the Big Bang, and the early, unimaginably volatile moments of the universe were much less chaotic than the cyclonic, Category 5 Feces-Flinging Festival that is Donnybrook Chrump. We are currently in a socio-political era unlike any other anyone who is currently living or dead has ever seen. Every move President Little-Boy-Fat-Man feels like one more step toward death and destruction. His primary motivation, other than self-aggrandizement, is to make the swamp he pretended he would drain seem like prime real estate.

America has long been a force to be reckoned with, and never shied away from throwing her weight around. For the better part of a century, we have had the biggest button on the block, not to mention being the only one to ever use it. And so, as America goes, so goes the world.

We are living in interesting times. Personally, I have never been so jealous of dead people, because I assume that they are much less affected by The Days of Our Chrump. I do not know this for a fact, but I hope it is true. There has to be some way to get relief from this torture.

Replicas of two famous atomic bombs.
Little Boy (blue) was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.
Fat Man (yellow) was dropped on Nagasaki on August 9, 1945.

Donald Chrump was dropped on America on November 9, 2016.

The Chrump administration has gutted the State Department, leaving ambassadorships vacant across the globe, and treating diplomacy like the plague. His chief of the Environmental Protection Agency wants to destroy the environment in favor of greedy corporations bent on raping the planet. His Secretary of Education wants to end public education (and possibly education as a concept) turning it into a for-profit business. Chrump just tweeted away the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, who has objectively improved services for veterans – including drastically reducing wait times for medical care and lowering the unemployment rate among vets from 10 percent to 3.5 percent – while his choice to take over will simply be a figurehead for those determined to turn the VA over to profiteers – a move opposed by 92 percent of veterans. I could go on and on, as you well know, but I will spare you the rest of the gory details for now. However, I would be remiss if I did not cap this segment off with the two words that pretty much tell you everything you need to know about Chrump’s intentions: John Bolton.

So no, I will not root for this president to succeed, since there is a less-than-zero percent chance that he will do anything to warrant that.

Now I know how Chuang Tzu felt. Is Donald Chrump a prezident who dreams of dismantling our entire social and political structure or monstrous agent of destruction who is dreaming he is prezident? And what about us? Are we really awake, or are we dreaming that we are dreaming that we are actually living in Chrumpityville?  

Bonus Fun: The Adult Film Actress and The Child Prezident

For you math buffs out there, Donald Chrump was born in 1946. Stormy Daniels was born in 1979. Chrump and Daniels were creating the reason for a questionable non-disclosure agreement around 2006. Chrump was chronologically 60 years old; Daniels was 27.

Ivanka was born in 1981. If only she had given her father what he really wanted, to paraphrase Trent Lott, maybe we would not be having all of these problems we are having right now. What, too soon?

I. Mangrey doing the butterfly. Don’t wake me just yet.