August 11, 2018
I am not certain that the EPA has officially changed its
name, but its intentions are unambiguous. Prevent the environment from harming
corporations in any way, especially corporations that incessantly destroy the
environment while raking in obscene profits (and in most cases, government
subsidies), while never being held in any way responsible for the inevitable
damage to nature, life or limb.
Maybe we really do need a Space
Force
It is no surprise that the EPA (birthed, strangely enough,
by a man called Nixon), in the Chrump Era, has ramped up its attacks on
nature-red-in-tooth-and-claw. The self-imagined
big boss of everything is an orange alien who believes the entire surface of
the planet should be a golf course, with the exception of a few areas that are concealing
fossil fuels or other environmental toxins from those who would profit from
their extraction. This mutant malefactor
has repeatedly insisted that global climate change is a hoax perpetrated by
China, while simultaneously fighting to build a wall in the ocean to stop the
rising tides from inundating his ill-begotten golf course on the coast of
Scotland.
Chrump’s ignorance is surpassed only by his astounding stupidity. It remains uncertain whether Chrump actually
hates the Earth as much as he claims, or if he simply enjoys the adulation and
applause he gets from his brain-free true-believers when he attacks the planet
that sustains us all. It is said that
the fish rots from the head down, but in this case it is difficult to
distinguish head from anus, and it matters little where began the rot since it
is all encompassing at this point.
Insane scandal monkey Scott “Swamp Monster” Pruitt was
finally forced from his post atop the EPA after a historic mélange of lunacy,
larceny and Nixon-level paranoia. Pruitt
was replaced by his second in command, and former coal lobbyist Andrew Wheeler,
who unsurprisingly believes the Earth should be subservient to the fossil fuel
industry and is at this moment pushing to deregulate the coal industry. How ironic.
I mean wouldn’t.
The Chrump administration is also proposing to reverse the
Obama Era mandated increase in federal fuel efficiency standards. Not to be seen as missing the forest for the
trees – while feverishly working to eliminate both – this push to punish the
planet includes forcing California to lower its statewide standards, which have
been permitted to surpass federal standards due to its population size and perpetual
struggles with air pollution. Well, fuck
all that I guess. Chrump has bigger fish
(and birds, land animals, plants, and waterways) to fry. I guess he figures that once everything has
been burned to a crisp, there will that much more space available for golf
courses, and the real estate prices will be the best ever. Then he can use all the money he’s made off
the presidency to own all of it.
Tom Lehrer – Pollution
And Then There’s This
Donald Trump tweeted in 2012, "If we didn't remove incredibly
powerful fire retardant asbestos & replace it with junk that doesn't work, the
World Trade Center would never have burned down."
New, improved EPA website screen capture
Today, the EPA is hard at work fighting to end the war on
asbestos. They are looking to impose new
rules to allow asbestos to be used in manufacturing again. The proposed easing of asbestos regulations has
elated one Russian company. They are so
grateful, that they packaged their tremendous, albeit carcinogenic, product
with Chrump's, possibly equally toxic, image on it. Some people find it odd to learn that Russia
is the sole source of asbestos to the U.S.
Despite being on vacation, Chrump took time out from his busy golf
schedule to weigh in, “Asbestos has gotten a raw deal. A very raw deal. No one even knows what a carcinogen is. I sure don’t, and I’m very intelligent. I can tell you that I put asbestos on my cereal
every morning and I still have a very good brain, which is part of my amazing
intellect. These death-killing
regulations must be removed to make America’s asbestos industry great again. Some people are saying that our only source of
asbestos is Russia. They can’t prove
that. Believe me.”
What a perfect face for a toxic,
carcinogen…and asbestos too
Rumors that
the EPA is considering making smoking mandatory have not been confirmed. We here at Paying Attention believe this to
be untrue; this is plainly the jurisdiction of the Food and Drug Administration
and/or Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Surely,
they are on the case.
I. Mangrey
reporting. Earth First! Chrump Last!
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