July 1, 2019
“Dear” Mr. Chrump,
I hope you can take a few moments out of planning your,
self-congratulatory (kissing your own ass) military display/private party,
disrespecting and disgracing our nation’s birthday (It is being renamed for now
– the
Fourth of You Lie, in your honor.), to have someone read this letter to you. It is admittedly comforting to have you
kissing your own ass for a change, especially after your recent marathon ass-kissing
extravaganza of murderous thugs Putin, Kim and bin Salman while you were
overseas. I know you are jealous of them
since you are not permitted to murder those who oppose you, and that has to be
hard on such an insecure little man like yourself. I know you still believe you could shoot
someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any support. You are probably right. If only you had the guts to try it.
I will try to keep this brief (short) because I know you do
not like, or possibly even know how to, read.
I will try to keep you interested by using pictures as well. And, to make it even more likely you will not
be frightened (scared) by seeing words, it will be written in crayon. I thought about making it ALL CAPS, but that’s
your schtick.
Everyone, including you, knows that to you (Donald Chrump)
the most important thing in the world (the big round thing you’re trying to
burn up), perhaps even more than money, is television ratings. And crowd size. And an almost fanatical devotion to
yourself. Okay, so some people will say
that’s three things, but only those fake, liberal, losers who can count. Anyway, there is one surefire way for you to
be seen by the largest audience in the history of audiences. And I am not talking about just in America
(the country you live in, but really, really hate). The whole world (all those people who are not
you, including all those shithole countries) will be watching.
I personally guarantee that your impeachment (the “I” word) hearings
will be watched all over the world.
Think of the bragging rights.
Think of the ratings.
After your big impeachment show series finale, you can have a
super great new reality show. You
deserve it. Bigly. To save you the trouble of coming up with an
original (new) idea – something you are incapable of – the good
people here at Paying Attention (you can tell they’re good because they despise
every little thing about you) have something special prepared. It will be necessary to keep you off the streets
once your fake presidency comes crashing down around you, and your name is
spoken only in filthy shadows and in the confines of militia compounds.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to shut the
fuck up, but you can check out your new show here.
Very, very truly not yours,
I. Mangrey
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