Monday, November 25, 2019

Cracker Graham

The U.S. Senate: Brought to You By Russia, “Bought” From You By Russia

November 25, 2019

Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky did not want to do it.  At the moment Zelensky had finally resigned himself to lying to the world in order to stay in the good graces of psychotic conman Donald Chrump, Chrump Cheneyed himself – once again, shooting himself in the face.  As Zelensky prepared to sit down with Fareed Zakaria on CNN, or perhaps Fucker Carlson on Fux News, Chrumpy the Clown released call notes (not anything like a transcript) of his perfect, beautiful, totally innocent, completely hidden July 25 phone call with Zelensky. 

The call notes clearly showed Chrump asking Zelensky to announce he was investigating Joe and Hunter Biden.  This, even though Zelensky was not, and likely would not, since the Bidens’ alleged wrongdoing, along with the absurd notion that Ukraine was setting up Russia to take the fall for election interference, both had been debunked as conspiracy theories.

Chrump’s attempted extortion, bribery and/or quid pro quo with Zelensky also happened after a Republican’t investigation found and reported that Russia had in fact interfered with the 2016 election, to Chrump’s advantage.  “C’mon Zelensky buddy, daddy needs a new pair of swing states.  Naturally, the other reason Chrump wanted this to happen, besides his need to cheat at another election, was to abet his benefactor, Vladimir Putin's take over of Ukraine.
Zelensky did not want to lie to the world for Chrump despite his county's desperate situation.  But, Chrump had another ass up his sleeve – today’s Benedickless Arnold, Lindsey Graham.  After being repeatedly humiliated by Chrump, and repeatedly displaying his righteous indignation toward, and unparalleled disdain for his one-time rival, Graham now has his head so far up Chrump’s ass that he can often see who Chrump is shouting at by looking out of Chrump’s gaping maw.
“I thought we weren’t doing that until we got back to the White House.”
Chrump demanded…I mean suggested that Zelensky publicly announce he was investigating Biden and the Democrats as precondition for an invite to the White House.  There were no preconditions, other than assurance that there would be no American witnesses present, for meeting with, telephoning, and one assumes late-night spooning with Putin.  Nothing was requested before Chrump went crawling to Kim Jong Un, though to be fair, there were some beautiful letters from Kim.  Nevertheless, Lindsey “I’m not going to read the transcripts” Graham is going to give Chrump the gift Zelensky would not.  Is Graham hoping Chrump will make him King of Ukraine?  Or maybe buy him Greenland?  Or let Lindsey lick grits off his ass, or his whatever?  Politics makes strange bedfellows.
Graham is being joined in his fool’s errand by Chuck “Oh shit, he’s still alive?” Grassley (R-IA), and Ron “Ain’t no one dumber than me” Johnson (R-WI).  A larger group of criminals…I mean Republican’t senators – all of whom will be acting as jurors in the upcoming impeachment trial of Donald Chrump have already met with Chrump (the defendant in the upcoming impeachment trial of Donald Chrump) and his attorney to “map out a strategy.”  For his part, Chrump has, for some time now, been busy bribing, extorting and/or quid pro quo-ing these potential jurors with campaign cash and as-yet-unknown other strong-arm tactics.  There is no confirmation of the story that Mitt Romney recently woke up to find a dog strapped to the roof of his car.
What happens when everyone in the line-up did the crime?
Realizing that they have no defense because their feckless leader is guilty as hell and will simply not stop implicating himself in the crimes he has confessed to more times than he has publicly stated that if Ivanka was not his daughter he would be dating her. Woe is we.
I. Mangrey reporting.  I am not the walrus.  Are you?

Bonus entertainment – an oldie but a goodie…

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