Broken News

Re-Indicted, And It Feels So Good

August 2, 2023

Disgraced, twice-impeached, now-thrice-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president and current professional defendant Donald Trump, along with six co-conspirators, has once again been indicted. This time, the indictment is coming out of Washington, DC as a result of the January 6 investigation, not in the court of Florida’s Trump-appointed fake judge Aileen Cannon.

Trump is now facing four more charges: conspiracy to defraud the United States; conspiracy to obstruct an official proceeding; obstruction of and attempt to obstruct an official proceeding; and conspiracy against rights. Add these to the 34 counts in the New York Stormy Daniels/hush money case and the 40 counts in the Florida stolen documents case. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving douchebag.

Special Counsel Jack Smith administers

pre-trial noogies to his special defendant

Jack Smith, during his brief post-second-indictment statement, made it clear that the defendant was presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. I apparently misjudged Mr. Smith. I was certain that he did not have a sense of humor.

Attorney General Merrick Garland made an even briefer statement in Philadelphia:

Immediately after the January 6 attack on our democracy, career men and women of the Justice Department engaged in what has become the largest investigation in our history. In November last, I appointed Jack Smith as special counsel to take on the ongoing investigation in order to underline the department’s commitment to accountability and independence. Mr. Smith and his team of experienced, principled career agents and prosecutors have followed the facts and the law wherever they lead. Any questions about this matter will have to be answered by the filings made in a courtroom.

And that my friends, has Donald Trump soiling his diaper.

But Wait, There’s More…

New York Attorney General Letitia James' office announced this week the $250 million lawsuit filed against the 2024 hopeful alleging “widespread fraud” is set for trial.

The case James filed in September 2022 “accuses Mr. Trump, his family business and three of his children of a ‘staggering’ fraud for overvaluing the former president's assets by billions of dollars. The lawsuit seeks $250 million that Ms. James contends the Trumps reaped through those deceptions, and asks a judge to essentially run the former president out of business in the state if he is found liable at trial.”

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.