Eight Days Before We All Get Chrumpled to Death

Can You Say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH?

January 12, 2017

The reality-challenged sociopath in the Orange Asshole suit who has more faith in Moscow than he does in America and whose only interaction with computers is limited to tweeting, and who said, “Now, I don't know. What do I know about it? All I know is what's on the Internet,” now tells us, “I think that computers have complicated lives very greatly (sic). The whole Age of Computer has made it so nobody knows exactly what’s going on…” WTFF

The trouble we are about to be in is simply Chrumpian in proportions. Don’t know what that means? How could you? The words, the very possibilities cannot be imagined. We are in uncharted territory. Alt-reality is unfathomable to actual reality-based thinking. Imagine Christopher Columbus suddenly transported onto the Starship Enterprise. You think he was lost, in over his head sailing to "India"? Imagine him hurtling through space light years from Earth. How do you say, “What the fuck is a light year?” in Italian? We think we have some idea how stunningly cataclysmic Chrump can be. Uh uh folks. Sure there are checks and balances. Sure there are. Like Paul Ryan. Like Mitch McConnell. They will keep things on the straight and narrow-minded. Is this helping yet?

Do not worry, though these guys are technically in charge of much of what is about to happen, they too have no earthly way to predict the effects of the Chrumpstorm that is about to swallow them up and spit them out like Columbus on the Enterprise. They will not know what hit them. They will have immense trouble remembering their own names, let alone what their jobs are. Calling Chrump a psycho is a slap-in-the-face to mentally ill people everywhere.

Team Chrump is apoplectic that the intelligence community and President-still Obama, called out Chrump’s beloved Mother Russia for cyber warfare against – what is that called again – oh yeah, Amerika and dared to retaliate against Chrump and the Republicants’ new benefactor. A Chrump spokesman fretted that this was nothing more than an attempt to delegitimize the Chrump (GULP!) presIDency. My word! It is simply unthinkable that someone would try to delegitimize another man’s presidency. Imagine if someone started saying that the president of the United States needed to show his birth certificate because he was hiding the fact that he was not born in this country even though that president had already proven such and even though one need not be born in this country if one of one’s parents is an American citizen. Then imagine if that same person continued to disbelieve said president and then demanded his college transcripts as well. Then imagine that disgrace of a man accusing the president he spent years sliming of trying to delegitimize him after he got “elected” president thanks to help from the FBI and Vladimir Putin. It is all obviously very greatly hypothetical, but what a fun thought experiment.

He Read a Book?

Some years ago when pressed on awkward topics—such as whether or not he regularly read Adolf Hitler’s speeches - Chrump turned “skittish and, perhaps, inventive” according to Marie Brenner’s September 1990 Vanity Fair article:

In April 1989, perhaps in a surge of Czech nationalism, Ivana Trump told her lawyer Michael Kennedy that from time to time her husband reads a book of Hitler’s collected speeches, My New Order, which he keeps in a cabinet by his bed. Kennedy now guards a copy of My New Order in a closet at his office, as if it were a grenade. Hitler’s speeches, from his earliest days up through the Phony War of 1939, reveal his extraordinary ability as a master propagandist.

“Did your cousin John give you the Hitler speeches?” I asked Trump.

Trump hesitated. “Who told you that?”

“I don’t remember,” I said.

“Actually, it was my friend Marty Davis from Paramount who gave me a copy of Mein Kampf, and he’s a Jew.” (“I did give him a book about Hitler,” Marty Davis said. “But it was My New Order, Hitler’s speeches, not Mein Kampf. I thought he would find it interesting. I am his friend, but I’m not Jewish.”)

Later, Trump returned to this subject. “If I had these speeches, and I am not saying that I do, I would never read them.”

In his open letter to the incoming Republican’t dictatorship Ed Venture said, he was “not saying that Chrump loves Putin because he owes Putin untold amounts of money or because Putin is blackmailing him, but many people are saying this.” Since then we have learned that even more people are saying this, and those people are leaders of the American intelligence community. Although FBI director James Comey was more than willing to publicize, just a few days before the election, bogus innuendo to help the Russians sabotage Hillary Clinton (As I write this the Department of Justice announced it is investigating Comey for this incident.), he is remaining tight lipped about the latest information implicating Chrump and Moscow in a potential blackmail scheme. And guess who the chrump, I mean chump is and who is holding the winning hand in this scenario. I will give you a hint – it is not the guy who bankrupted four casinos. He would not know a winning hand if it was fondling his tiny man bits.

I. Mangrey reporting. Turn your head and scoff.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA