Thursday, July 20, 2017

Good News is No News. This is Not Good News.

Zen and The Art of News-Cycle Maintenance

July 20, 2017
Now He Is Physically Ill
After all he has been through, and all he has put us through, John McCain now has brain cancer. Can that retroactively explain inflicting Sarah Palin on us? Donald Chrump, who recently complimented (?) McCain, calling him ‘‘a crusty voice in Washington. Plus, we need his vote,’’ may also have said, “Actually, I like people who don’t have cancer.”
Putin Grabs Some Pussy
It turns out that 2½ hours of quality time with his beloved Vladimir, was not enough. Who knows when they might see each other again? Desperate for just one more glance, one more touch, perhaps a last sweet, sweet kiss, Chrump wandered away from his seat during a G-20 dinner with all the principals and their spouses and plopped his considerable butt beside Putin. Chrump had this previously undisclosed tête-à-tête sans support staff of any kind. Chrump sat and talked with Putin and Putin’s translator (Chrump’s translator does not speak Russian.) for an hour. Don said it was a very short meeting, proving only that time is one more thing about which he has no clue. Those who witnessed this meeting of the swines were taken aback, not only be the mere occurrence of such a meeting, but by the animated nature of the conversation, frequented by laughter. Many people are saying that tongues were involved. A bromance for the ages. What could possibly go wrong? Rest assured that Chrump will have no recollection of any such meeting.

One witness of the impromptu tryst said, “It was very disconcerting to see Mr. Chrump blowing kisses across the dining hall to Mr. Putin, who was beckoning Mr. Chrump to join him by patting the empty chair next to him with a kind of come hither look. As Mr. Chrump waddled over to sit next to Putin, we hoped he was only going to the bathroom. No one else really wanted anything to do with either of them, but they couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Most disturbing of all was when Mr. Chrump suddenly disappeared beneath the table. He was down there a good long while and I don’t think he was picking up his napkin, if you know what I mean. The smile on Mr. Putin’s face was quite disturbing to all of us. Mr. Chrump had to be hoisted back to his feet by several men.”
The Power of Positive Tanking
After seven years and scores of attempts to repeal and pretend to replace Obamacare, Republican’ts finally had their big chance. They own the Senate and the House, and finally have a “president” who will sign anything that hurts Obama’s legacy. Not that Chrump is a petty, petulant, pusillanimous, prevaricator or anything. The party of Putin-in-America has now had three stabs at passing their tax-cuts-for-the-rich-in-healthcare-bill’s-clothing to no avail.
Chrump blames everyone but himself for the Republican’t Senate failing to pass their killer healthcare reform. The House passed theirs, which Chrump loved and then hated. No one knows for sure where he stands at the moment. Not that it really matters since he is always standing on quicksand. Chrump blames Democrats for failing to support Chrump and the lunatic Republican’t’s efforts to kill the healthcare system Democrats worked on for decades. The fact that Dems caved at just about every turn to satisfy Republican’ts and insurance and pharmaceutical companies to get tens-of-millions more Americans health insurance just was not good enough. Obamacare simply did not meet the Republican’t criteria; it did not screw enough people to satisfy them. So now that they run everything they are trying their damndest to kill poor people and for some reason only about 10 percent of the public - or as Chrump puts it, almost half the country - thinks that is a good idea. Just because Chrump and the Republican’ts like to punch themselves in the nuts on a daily basis does not mean the Democrats have to do the same (they generally do a pretty good job of that, but thankfully were unwilling to do so with Obamacare).
The Congressional Budget Office says the latest repeal-only bill will cause 32 million people to lose health insurance - much better than the measly 22 million with that repeal-an-replace nonsense. Next week Mitch McConnell will introduce the Battering Insurance Today Eventually Means Excellence (BITE ME) bill, commonly referred to as Repeal-and-Go-Fuck-Yourself. Once again Der Furor is promising the moon. “As I have always said, let Obamacare fail and then come together and do a great healthcare plan. Stay tuned!” Or is he just promising to moon us? All pretty much the same with old Chrumpo.
Sorry Harpo, I had to do it. He stole your face.
Now, if we could just get him to stop talking.

I. Mangrey reporting. When can we finally let lying Chrumps sleep?

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