Sessions' Almost Over

Little Bigot Man 

Under the bus
July 21, 2017

Donald Chrump thinks it is the Attorney General’s job to protect the president, even if that means protecting the president from himself. He is very upset that Jeff Sessions, who lied under oath about meeting with Russians during his confirmation hearing (the true depth of those lies might not yet be fully known), yet was sill confirmed, decided to take a break from committing crime by recusing himself (sort of) from any investigations into Chrump and Russia. The Don said he would not have hired Sessions if he had known that the Attorney General was going to protect and defend the Constitution instead of the double-dealing, Russian apologist (at least), conman president. It would not be surprising for an Attorney General to resign after the kind of dressing-down Chrump laid on Jeff Sessions.

But Sessions will not go away so easily. Not when there is so much insanity for him to inflict on our nation. He is on a mission from God. Sessions is bent on bringing back Nixon’s long-failed War on Drugs. He is obsessed with eradicating the scourge of Refer Madness, because the Devil’s Weed is “only slightly less awful than heroin.” Sessions has no problem with the epidemic of murder and accidental suicide resulting from prescription opioids – that is just good old fashioned collateral damage. We don’t want to upset the boys over in Big Pharma. Jeff Sessions also has nightmares of imaginary inner cities where violent crime is engulfing everything, even though law enforcement experts and statistics beg to differ. I do not think for a second that Sessions’ obsession has anything to do with the preponderance of minority and immigrant residents in our inner cities. I think it for approximately 24 hours…every day. Perhaps nearest and dearest to Sessions’ heart is all the work he needs to do to disenfranchise Black and Latino voters across this great land of ours.

Begging a Pardon?

Der Furor also took some time to lash out at special prosecutor Robert Mueller. Chrump warned Mueller not to dig into his and his family’s personal finances, lest he find himself out of a job…Mueller, that is. Chrump is looking into pardoning himself (and others). I am looking forward to seeing how that works out for Donny Dolittle. Chrump told no one in particular, “As I have always said, only innocent people ask for pardons. Always said that. Always. I am just protecting America. It is almost great again. We're so close. I’m getting so much done it’s making my head spin. If you could just hold my hand you would feel it too. My hands are more than average size. In fact, they may be larger than that. I will be totally and completely vindicated and then pardoned. Totally. Anything I might have done, but did not do, could very well be totally fine because of Statute of Limitation laws. And, I had the biggest inauguration of all time. It was truly amazing. So many people. So many. Also, I am the best president so far and I have absolutely no mental problems. That I can tell you. Also I am the best president so far and I have absolutely no mental problems.”

In fairness to Donny, Sr., he has been busy, and not just all that golfing and Putin licking. Between January, 20 and July 20, 2017 Twitterbell has cranked out 1,002 tweets. That is over five per day. Full disclosure: not all of them were bat-shit crazy – only about 90 percent fall into that category. And he also got to pretend to drive a fire truck.

This is not a wax figure (except for the “hair”), though it has a similar IQ. 

Mel Brooks is 91 years old. He remembers what people he had lunch with were wearing 50 years ago. Brooks has story after story of fairly routine events in his life and he remembers excruciating detail. Every single member of the Chrump campaign/administration (they are one and the same) has trouble remembering things that happened 50 days ago. Can you imagine how they will feel once all these memories come flooding  back? Me neither.

I. Mangrey reporting. Impeach and replace.