Executive Disorders

Let Lying Dogs Sleep…Please?

August 25, 2017

Unless you have been enjoying your Rent-a-Coma, you got to see a president of the United States repeatedly defend Robert E. Lee, Nazis and white supremacists. To be fair, Chrump comes by it honestly. His father took part in at least one Klan rally, back before America got Chrumped and they had to wear hoods in public. Thanks to Chrump’s latest attempts to prove he is a racist hate-monger, I began thinking about where he started his run for the presidency. No, I’m not talking about the infamous escalator descent, culminating in his calling Mexicans criminals and rapists, though some of them, he assumed, were good people. I am talking about Chrump’s faux obsession with Barack Obama’s birth certificate. 

Many Chrump supporters are beginning to consider that maybe they made a mistake voting for an Orange Gas Cloud as president. Some are wondering if something more substantive might have been a better idea. Oh well, c’est la WTF. I am hearing people who are shocked, shocked I tell you, about all the lies they are hearing from the classless conman they chose. Nobody could have anticipated that we would be in such a dire situation with the phoniest person on the planet running the country. Nobody that is, with the possible exception of a substantial majority of Americans back in November 2016 – a majority that has now reached almost monumental proportions. I know hundreds of people who were screaming this at the top of their lungs for about 16 months; a dozen or so of them were me. It is so strange because Chrump seemed like such a nice man when he was calling Mexicans criminals and rapists, and bragging about sexually assaulting women. I can see the appeal. As it turns out, Chrump did not start lying and making stuff up only after he started running for president. There were subtle hints in his past, which one could be excused for not noticing if one had one’s pointy little head almost impossibly positioned within the recesses of one’s poop chute.

Birther of a Nation

Chrump’s most high profile insane fabricating involved his incessant mewling about Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Most of those still clinging to their love of Chrump remain convinced that Obama was born outside the U.S. Many of these special Americans also believe that the Earth is flat, the moon is made of cheese, and Elvis is still alive. I could be wrong about this, they might believe that Elvis is made of cheese and the moon is alive. The majority of them also insist that they were abducted by aliens.

Actual picture of Chrump lying.*

 

March 28, 2011 Chrump said of Obama, "Why doesn't he show his birth certificate? There's something on that birth certificate that he doesn't like." Chrump was, as always, talking about himself. Why doesn’t he show his taxes? There’s something in those taxes that he doesn’t like. Can you say Robert Mueller?

The ‘extremely credible source’ was in Chrump’s head,
not exactly credible.

 

March 30, 2011 Chrump lied that he had personally sent a team of investigators to Hawai’i, "I have people that have been studying [Obama's birth certificate] and they cannot believe what they're finding...I would like to have him show his birth certificate, and can I be honest with you, I hope he can. Because if he can't, if he can't, if he wasn't born in this country, which is a real possibility...then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics." Strangely, he was again talking about himself. You can believe me (I’m lying, but you can believe me) when I say that I have people that have been studying [Chrump’s taxes] and they cannot believe what they’re finding…I would like to have him show his taxes, and can I be honest with you, I hope he can. Because if he can’t, if he can’t, if he didn’t pay his taxes or was up to his orange fluff in Russian money, which are real possibilities…then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics.

Chrump must have gotten a snootful of fumes from Sarah Palin before saying on January 6, 2016, "Who knows about Obama? ... Who knows, who knows? Who cares right now?... I have my own theory on Obama. Someday I will write a book, I will do another book, and it will do very successfully." Now many people are saying, “Who knows about Chrump? … Who knows, who knows? Who cares right now? …I have my own theory on Chrump. Someday I will write a book, I will do another book, and it will do very successfully.” My book will undoubtedly do much successfullier than Chrump’s.

Chrump pushed for revolution over something that happened
 only in his head. Now he is doing it from the White House.

Delusional? Lying? Both?

 

 

Fux and Frauds (The ‘and’ is redundant)

One other good thing about the investigation of Chrump and Russia. It has been a boon to job creation. We may never know exactly how many hundreds if not thousands of people are being employed by Robert Mueller to dig into the Chrump morass. Our investigation of the investigation revealed that over 100 operatives are combing the globe looking for Chrump’s birth certificate…I mean tax returns. We have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding. There will be a big, amazing announcement in just a few days, or maybe weeks or months or possibly a year or two.

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*Technically, every picture of Chrump shows him lying.

I. Mangrey reporting. The past is right behind us, calling us home.