February 12, 2018
Two corrections:
Item #1 is not so much a correction as an omission. I knew
we had a whiteness problem. In this case, it is not so much a need to make our
whites whiter, but a need to get the white out. I don’t think they make a
Visine for this one. Item #2 is simply a regrettable, however understandable,
error.
A new study from the Southern Poverty Law Center reveals that,
since 2014, there have been more than “100 people killed or injured by alleged
perpetrators influenced by the so-called ‘alt-right’—a movement that continues
to access the mainstream and reach young recruits.” The report finds that a
healthy number of those identified in the report are outspoken Chrump supporters. If you
thought that white extremism blossomed under America’s first black president,
first of all, you would be depressingly correct, and second, this was nothing
compared to the (somewhat literal) explosion in the White Death under our first
alt-white prezident.
1) We neglected to include the fact that last June, just two
months before his deplorable supporters soiled Charlottesville, Chrump’s
administration rescinded funds previously earmarked to counter
right-wing extremism and white supremacist violence.
It is possible that one of our attorneys was responsible for the apology-causing
errant verbiage. I know that neither Mr. Hungadunga, Mr. Hungadunga, Mr.
Hungadunga nor Mr. McCormack has ever contributed to our reporting, but as Dear
Leader showed a while back, when it seemed that Der Furor admitted to
obstructing justice and his attorney took the fall, these things happen.
2) I may have inadvertently described Donald Chrump as “a serving of
peanut butter and mashed potatoes.” It should have read - Donald Chrump is
an ignorant, racist bastard with hair borrowed from an American Girl Doll. Our
apologies for the error.
We promise greater vigilance going forward.
Whitey, The Eighth Dwarf
While we are on the subjects of right-wing extremism and mistakes, Jeff
Sessions told the National Sheriffs’ Association
that, “The office of sheriff is a critical part of the Anglo-American heritage
of law enforcement. We must never erode this historic office.” Sessions possibly
continued, “What I miss are the fire hoses and attack dogs we had back in the
day. Now that was some damn effective Anglo-American police work, or dare I
say, justice. Those ni…I mean, naughty boys, I mean fellas, knew who was boss
back then. I’m workin’ hard for you good old boys to make sure white still
makes right.” This has not been independently or alternatively verified.
A spokeswhiteperson for Sessions brushed off criticism
saying, “Stop making such a fuss. It was just sheriff’s room talk.”
Ed Venture
Benevolent Overseer
Benevolent Overseer
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