February 25, 2018
Apparently, what this country needs is more shooting. Just
ask Don Chrump, the new voice of the NRA. During his recent listening session,
Chrump spent most of the time listening to the voices in his head while other
people talked to him. One of those voices was the usual fourth grader that we
all get to hear whenever he speaks on his own, or get to see on Twitter every
few minutes. The other voices are those of the three stooges on Fux and Friends
and that of bloodthirsty murder fetishist and NRA executive VP Wayne LaPierre.
Now here’s a man who knows
where his hearing holes are
Chrump clearly had no idea what anyone was talking about,
fighting to sit still and avoid drooling. No matter what anyone else said, Der
Furor stuck to his guns and insisted that the only thing that could be done was
to turn our schools into war zones, with firearms at the ready, to guarantee
that good guys (teachers) with guns were ready to stop bad guys (white guys)
with guns. Sadly, 44 percent of Americans think teachers with guns is a good
idea.
A study of the New York Police Department found that between
1998 and 2006, the average hit rate during gunfights was 18 percent. When
suspects did not return fire, police officers still hit their targets only 30
percent of the time. Officers who have been involved in shootings say that
firing a weapon in a stressful situation is very difficult. Chrump, no doubt
knows better. Either way, I am sure that teachers dashing off to get their
hidden guns and then rushing toward an active shooter with superior firepower will
be able to do much better than professional good guys with guns. And hardly any
of them will accidently shoot bystanders, themselves or end up being shot with
their own gun.
Get real or go home. Better yet, go home and get real
Even though Chrump had a cheat-sheet to help him remember
why he was there, what to pretend to be thinking about, and how he was supposed
to feel, he still managed to embarrass everyone in the room. I don’t think his list
included this gem, “We need to let people know, you come into our schools,
you’re gonna be dead.”
Most people with cheat-sheets have the words facing them
Who cares if America’s schools cannot afford normal school
supplies like paper and pencils? According to a 2013 article in Education Week, “two-thirds of all
classroom supplies are purchased by teachers. And 91 percent of teachers—many
of whom receive modest pay to begin with—purchase basic supplies for students
whose families cannot afford them. All of these expenditures can add up to more
than $1 billion every year out of educators’ own pockets.” Obviously, the big
question now is, will these teachers have to buy their own guns? And what about
bullets? As Chris Rock said, “Guns don’t kill people, bullets kill people.
As we all know, Republican’ts do not want the hoi polloi to
be educated, and are not overly concerned with the lives and/or deaths of
students. They only care about people before they are born. As their leader
Chrump said during the pre-inauguration phase of his campaign, echoing the
longstanding philosophy of the Republican’t Party, “I love the poorly
educated.” And they love him right back.
Americans can be proud that our five-deferment-draft-dodging
prezident is so brave shooting off his mouth. I would say, put your gun where
your mouth is, but that would not be nice, and might be taken the wrong way.
I. Mangrey reporting. Remember, guns don’t kill people, the
NRA kills people.
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