May 9, 2019
More Than 700 Lawyers Agree…
More than 700 career federal prosecutors have weighed in on
the Mueller Report. Seven. Hundred. Not the version being pedaled by Donald
Chrump and his consigliere Bill Barr. If
you read between the redactions, it is clear that life-long criminal Donald J.
Chrump has committed a number of impeachable offenses – a number smaller than
his 10,000 lies, but much larger than the number of demonstrably true
statements. The offenses include a raft
of incidents of obstruction of justice, and a staggering degree of contact with
Russian operatives determined to see Chrump elected president. Chrump has had so many private meetings with
Putin, many people are convinced that the two men are planning to make more
pee-pee tapes, this time without the hookers.
If looks damage your brain
Chrump's new Roy Cohn, William Barr will soon be held in contempt of Congress. Those who were aware of Barr's past shenanigans, all related to morphing democracy into monarchy, have held him in contempt for decades.
The perpetually perverse Mitch McConnell, parroting his feckless leader, declared the Mueller investigation “over.” Nevertheless, Elizabeth Warren persisted. Senator Warren took to the Senate floor after Malignant Mitch’s anti-Constitutional pronouncement and called for immediate impeachment proceedings based on the mountain of evidence collected by Mueller and clearly spelled out in his report.
The perpetually perverse Mitch McConnell, parroting his feckless leader, declared the Mueller investigation “over.” Nevertheless, Elizabeth Warren persisted. Senator Warren took to the Senate floor after Malignant Mitch’s anti-Constitutional pronouncement and called for immediate impeachment proceedings based on the mountain of evidence collected by Mueller and clearly spelled out in his report.
Once Chrump was convinced that his personal attorney general
Bill Barr had permanently obstructed justice by burying the full Mueller Report,
lying about its “the context, nature, and substance" of the investigation,
and refusing to answer a subpoena from Congress, he put in a 90-minute call to Vladimir
Putin to whine about Mueller and celebrate his newly-imagined total exoneration. Despite reassurances from his collusion buddy
Putin, Chrump still has a giant fishhook firmly embedded in his orange
maw. Bing, bing, bing, bong, bong, Mueller’s
silver hammer is about to come down upon his head.
It’s Not Cheating if
You Don’t Get Caught
We now know more clearly than ever that Chrump was fortunate
to be born with an idiot-proof fortune.
It has been revealed in tax return transcripts dating from 1985-1994
that Chrump lost one billion dollars over that time, featuring losses of over
$100,000 per year. More losses than any
other individual during that period. He
truly is, as he has told us, “the king of debt” not to mention America’s
Biggest Loser…that is, up until January 20, 2017, when all Americas became even
bigger losers. This is likely just the
tip of the financial incompetence iceberg that Chrump is desperately continuing
to keep hidden. Donald Chrump - Bullionaire.
The King of S(p)orts
More recently, Chrump gave the Medal of Freedom to golfer
Tiger Woods, and was more upset about the controversial Kentucky Derby that he
ever was about Russia meddled in our election.
It is understandable though because the apparent winner committed a foul,
and ended up being disqualified. If only
people races could be conducted so fairly.
Chrump of course, felt that the cheater should have been awarded the
victory since he won. Shocking. Not.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
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