Never-Chrumpers v. Never-Earthers

Making The Earth Flat Again

February 13, 2020

While Donald Chrump continues his rapid descent into personal dementia and national fascism, let us take a break from the mind-crushing insanity into which the Republican’t Party has long been herding us.  Unfortunately, the popular tale of the frog who ends up boiled to death when the water is heated gradually, rather than leaping out if thrown into already boiling water is a myth; I always loved that analogy, but it’s as fake as the “hair” on Chrump’s head.  Nonetheless, Republican’ts have been building to this crappy crescendo for a long time.

But, that’s not why I dragged you over here today.  I thought we might ignore the political shit-show of the Orange Gas Cloud for a moment and turn our attention – perhaps our thoughts and prayers – to his continuing impact on the beautiful, life-giving planet we all enjoy and take for granted every day.

It might not be a flat world, but it is a very small one.  Much too small for the number of homo sapiens currently leeching off of it and shitting on it.  Particularly unhelpful and unwelcome are all the “Flat-Earthers” who insist that the obviously round planet we inhabit resembles a pancake. 

We have not heard Chrump himself weigh in on the dimensionality of our planet, but while insisting that he knows more about climate and wind and science than anyone, he has repeated and adhered to every other cockamamie environmental and climate crisis conspiracy nonsense known to man.  And he has put the worst possible anti-environment freaks and monsters in charge every agency charged with protecting our planet, ourselves and our progeny.  Chrump wants to make environmental protection medieval again.  He has unceasingly taken the mental out of environmental.  While it is somewhat likely that not all Chrumpers are flat-Earthers, you can be sure that all flat-Earthers are Chrumpers. 

It could be a flat world after all is said and (nothing) done

While the Earth is obviously not flat at the moment, if these brain-dead mutants have their way, lead in their idiocy by Donald “I-Know-More-About-Climate-Than-Anyone” Chrump, who knows what horrors await not only us, but possibly the planet itself.  What if, due to the global climate crisis and the relentless, wanton extraction of every last natural resource, the Earth collapses in on itself and flattens out?  If that happens, it will be the responsibility of the remaining normal to toss all the flat-Earthers over the edge.  It won’t fix anything, but it will be the right thing to do.

I. Mangrey reporting.  No compromise in defense of Mother Earth!