Crowd Size Matters

Guess They Got Tired Of Winning

Tulsa, (Not) OK
June 22, 2020

The Hindenburg of presidents Donald Chrump threw caution to the wind and the COVID-19 pandemic under the bus to restart his campaign for re-election. After backing down as a result of the righteous outcry to stay fuck away from Juneteenth, by delaying his assault on anti-racism by one day. This was still within the margin of terror, as Juneteenth has historically been a weekend-long celebration.

Oh! The lack of humanity!

Nonetheless, dozens of Chrump lovers braved the coronavirus pandemic they believe does not exist and the Chrump presidency they believe does exist, to catch a glimpse of their beloved leader, and very likely COVID-19. Many people are saying that rally attendance was down because of reports that six of Chrump’s advance team tested positive for COVID-19 and had been traipsing around Tulsa for a week or so, visiting bars and restaurants, not wearing masks, infecting an as yet undetermined number of locals. These inconsiderate slobs also tested positive for being in the employ of President Death. But, does that make them bad people? Well, that is a prerequisite for the job, so it is safe to assume, yes. Many other people are saying that rally attendance was down because people are just so sick of winning that they cannot take one more day of Chrump as president. Either way, when Chrump looked out on his very, very empty arena, he was reportedly shocked and horrified.

Possibly fearing inhaling COVID-19 and/or fumes from the
Orange Gas Cloud, most people stayed away from Chrump’s infection rally.

You can tell what a great time Chrump had by watching his sorrowful trudge after his two-hour Son of American Carnage rant to a half-empty* BOK Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma. As Chrump slowly, but very powerfully dominated the very slippery, treacherous and brutally unpredictable terrain – much like a golf green on a sunny day – from Marine One to the White House, Chrump looked like Ebenezer Scrooge after his visit with the ghost of Happy Christmas future, where no one shows up to his funeral because everyone hates his guts.

If you know the title of the song someone added,
you get an extra 10 points

It looks by all appearances like if he wants real crowds to show up, Chrump will have pay many more people much more money to waste their time standing around for two hours watching another of Chrump’s public psychotic episodes, while he yells nonsense and brags about how great his apartments, boats, cars, buildings and ex-wives are. That shouldn’t be a problem though; did he mention that he’s very rich?

Speaking of presidential campaigns, many very serious journalists, wearing their most sincerely serious faces are asking numerous women purported to be on Joe Biden’s short list for vice president if they are qualified for the job and ready to be president on day one.

First of all, I don’t recall anyone asking Mike “Time for a quick reality check. Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill.”** Pence if he was ready to be president on day one. And he had agreed to be the running mate of a repeatedly bankrupt conman, ex-reality tv phony who could barely spell his own name despite having put it on a number of buildings he did not build.

Putting that aside, there has been no one less prepared – who later proved beyond a shadow of a doubt he is still unprepared even after 1250 days on the job (so to speak) – than Donald Chrump, who still insists the coronavirus that has already killed more than 120,000 Americans is a hoax created by the media to hurt his presidency, and who said that testing should be slowed down (which he apparently already did), if not stopped because it is the testing that causes people to get the virus that he does not believe exists.

If the question of preparedness can ever be asked again, it surely cannot be asked of any Democrats during this election cycle unless it is also and repeatedly asked of Chrump. And when he responds, “Yes of course I am. And I would say that no one has ever been more prepared, or done a better job, or ever will even come close to doing as good as I have, ever in a million, maybe even a billion years. Believe me.”, there should be hearty, gut-busting laughter by the questioner and anyone present at the time, laughter that should only end at the next commercial break.

* Some might call it half-full, but those are mostly half-wits. (Actually, it was closer to 2/3 empty.) One observer noted, “It was hard to tell whether there were more empty seats or more empty heads in the venue.”
** Actual Pence quote from 2000.

I. Mangrey reacting.