Cancer-in-Chief
September 2, 2020
Donald Chrump is a cancer. A cancer on the office of
president. A cancer on the Constitution. A cancer on democracy. A cancer on the
United States. A cancer on this entire planet. As it now stands, the Chrump Blastoma,
though well past its early stages, is still treatable by non-heroic means. Though
an impeachment surgery was performed earlier this year, a McConnell infection
in the operating theater caused the operation left too many virulent Chrumpoma
cells in the body politic for complete remission and the cancer has continued
to rage unchecked. Experts are saying that there is a new, very promising
treatment, which will be available on November 3rd; no sooner, no
later.
Chrumpoma: endangering everything everywhere
Unlike the various measures Chrump has put forward to combat
the Chrump Virus – ignoring it, waiting for it to magically disappear several
months ago, ingesting disinfectants, shining light into the body,
hydroxychloroquine, poisonous plant extracts pushed by pillow peddlers,
non-existent vaccines, letting hundreds of thousands die – this treatment is
real, and if applied in a timely manner will at least put this malignancy into
remission. However, if Chrump metastasizes into a second term that will put the
“term” into terminal.
I. Mangrey breaking news. Only 61 cheating days until Election
Day.
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