Killing Us (Not So) Softly

It’s Donald Chrump’s World. We Just Die In It.

September 18, 2020

The following exchange between the most ignorant, psychotic president in American history and California’s Natural Resources Secretary Wade Crowfoot took place during a discussion on the current California wildfire crisis.

Mr. Know-it-all let’s loose on climate – “Climate? I hardly know it.” 

Chrump continues to run with the indescribable idea that the dozens of horrendous wildfires burning across California, Oregon and Washington are simply a result of a failure to “sweep the forests.” Instead of running with another insane idea, he should consider running with scissors. Next he’ll be insisting that we flood the forests with hydroxychloroquine, or perhaps nuking the fires. Enjoy this actual exchange… 

Wade Crowfoot: “We want to work with you to really recognize the changing climate and what it means to our forests, and actually work together with that science. The science is going to be key. If we ignore that science, and sort of put our head in the sand, and think it’s all about vegetation management, we’re not going to succeed together in protecting California.”

Chrump: “Ok, It'll start getting cooler.* You just watch.”

Wade Crowfoot: “I wish science agreed with you.”

Chrump: “I don't think science knows, actually.”**

Obviously, Chrump would have the daunting task of removing his head from his ass before he could bury it in the sand, though to be honest, wet cement would be much better.

Someone should tell this stable genius, after he purposely aided and abetted in the deaths of many thousands of Americans, and continues to do so to this day, that the vaccine he hopes will save his re-election chances is being developed by, you know – scientists. Actually.

At least it would seem that Chrump knows what month it is, and is able to remember that after summer comes autumn, during which time the warmth of the summer months begin to wane and the transition to winter begins. I do not know exactly how many brain cells making all these difficult calculations requires, but I am fairly certain that this is the limit of Chrump’s mental capacity. I guess we have to take what we can get at this point.

Joe Biden responded to the withered remains of Chrump's very good brain after Chrump insisted that "science doesn't know" about the climate crisis by telling his audience, “Science knows, science knows.” To which Chrump replied, “Who you calling science nose? Harelip!”

But Wait, There’s More…There’s Always More

In other Biden v. Chrump news, the mentally incapacitated, IMPEACHED 45^th president of the United States, who is personally responsible for the deaths of more than 100,000 Americans due to his “response” to the COVID-19 crisis, blamed private citizen Joe Biden for not enacting a national mask mandate.

I wish I had known it was possible for private citizens to enact national mandates, because I have a few ideas myself.

*It is entirely possible he meant “crueler.”
**This is likely a punctuation error. Should have been: “I don’t think. Science knows, actually.”

I. Mangrey reporting. Only 45 more cheating days until the election.