Solid Gold Shithead
February 27, 2021
On top of the climate crisis pummeling countries across the
globe, and currently beating Texas to a pulp, America is also facing a Stupid
Crisis (as is much of the world). As if the brutally stupid and deadly January 6,
2021 white terror attack on the Capitol was insufficient evidence of the intractable
idiocy beginning to suffocate sanity and democracy, the next stop on the Stupid
Train to Nowhere is this weekend’s CPAC conference, which features a panoply of
dim bulbs hoping to keep the Big Lie alive and further rile up the mindless
millions who follow Turmp like rats to the Pied Piper. That is not an analogy,
not a metaphor. Just plain fact. A bunch of white rats following the whiny
sound of the Orange Ogre as he leads them to who knows where.
In less psychotic times, CPAC was a place where
conservatives would yell about their terrible policies, policies which invariably
favored their base…of donors, having the exact opposite effect on the electorate
they nonetheless successfully court year after year, despite perpetually
ruining their lives. There will be no talk of policy this year; it would take
time away from continuing to lie and whine that the election was stolen from
them and that Turmp was, in (alternative) reality, still president.
This year’s CPAC features countless delusional douchebags too numerous and painful to mention, but including the likes of Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Lauren Boebert, Don, Jr., a
couple Huckabees and of course, the King of Losers – Turmp himself. They all are
hoping to inspire another violent terror attack on the government of the United
States of America, which they will promptly deny inciting.
Already, Cruz took time out of his delirious diatribe to
slam Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, who (I guess, disgracefully?) raised $5M dollars
to help families in Texas while Ted “Don’t Mess With Cancún” Cruz was
attempting to abandon his post in Cancún while his constituents faced death and
destruction. Which at this point probably seems favorable to facing Ted Cruz.
Holy Moses, Fatman!
Completely immune to irony, reason and reality itself, the
party of Turmp is holding its annual gathering, and to kick things off they
brought in a Golden Cow (above) to bow down to. These self-professed good
Christians see no irony in worshipping Mammon, the modern-day personification
of whom will be regaling and debasing the guileful crowd as the keynote
shrieker. The Cult of Turmp are clearly and vehemently unfamiliar with both the
Constitution and the Ten Commandments, both of which they claim to revere.
And now, this musical interlude…
To open the event, some poor woman was tasked with pleading
for the crowd to be so kind as to wear masks when squashed shoulder-to-shoulder
as they scream in each other’s feckless faces listening to one delusional,
traitorous speaker after another over the course of the weekend. The poor
messenger was promptly greeted with booing and people yelling, “Freedom!” I wonder how many of these fine people have
gotten Joe Biden’s vaccines.
I. Mangrey recoiling.
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