IMPEACHMENT II: The Sequel

Throw The Bum That Was Thrown Out Further Out

February 7, 2021

Impeachments used to be so much fun, but it seems all the devastation and mayhem has taken some of the joy out of kicking a national malefactor in the cajones. After all, this treacherous cretin spent four years tuning on America at every turn. He sided with Russia, he sided with murderous dictators, he sided with homegrown Nazis, bigots and mentally defective conspiracy theorists, he sided with the deadly corornavirus and finally, he sided with – no scratch that – he led the charge of (figuratively speaking of course) the mob of mutants to overturn the 2020 election and ultimately lay siege to the Capitol.

This impeachment could be even less satisfying when the object of our rejection has already been removed from the playing field. However, it might be worth making an exception since Turmp apparently still believes – or believes he believes – that he won the election, won the insurrection and thus deserves a special cocktail injection – all within the confines of due process and the law of course. This psychotic simpleton, this phantasmagorical fuckwit will not allow anyone around him to call him a “former president.” Turmp has done the impossible; he has degraded the Ratpublican Party further than any dared imagine, leaving them beneath whatever disgusting substance was under the filthy, slimy rock that was turned over in searching for their soul.

Now, the Ratpublican Party appears poised to cement their place in history. A place so close to Hell, Jefferson Davis seems almost quaintly patriotic. They have, after all, been burnishing their bona fides for the better part of a century. This is the party that nominated a malignant narcissist, authoritarian conman to be their standard bearer. They looked straight into the eyes of a misogynistic racist sleazebag and shouted, “That’s our guy!”

Death to America

Thanks to their relentless, decades-long destruction of the democratic process by gerrymandering, purging voting rolls of non-whites, and generally taking every possible opportunity to make voting a Herculean task for as many people as possible, they catapulted the most vulgar, hateful, criminal to the highest office in the land. Mitch Fucking McConnell used this simpleton to get what he wanted as let this country go straight to hell with all the racism, fascism and then the utter, purposeful incompetence leading the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Americans who simply refused to drink enough bleach to stop the virus.

The American public and House of Representatives had him dead to rights after his perfect phone call to the Ukrainian president – which turned out to be just the first step in Turmp’s plan to destroy his rival (and democracy) and assure himself a second term. Despite being impeached, and because his obedient minions in the Senate refused to permit a fair trial, Turmp never took his fake-bone-spurred foot off the gas pedal in his attempt to steal a second term. Culminating in the shameful, degrading, deadly assault on the Capitol.

This was not enough for the Ratpublicans. They further disgraced themselves by quickly trying to whitewash the whole sordid affair, telling us to move on and hold hands with them, to forget that anything happened.

It was love at first Fuck-you-America

This Tuesday they will begin to write the final chapter in their century-long run from grace. They still have an opportunity to salvage some tiny shred of decency by seeing to it that Donald Jurassic Turmp can, at the very least, never hold elected office again in the land of the free and the home of the brave – words entirely unfamiliar to the 45^th (and in his mind still) president of the United States. If there is ever a worse president in the land of my birth, I can only hope I am not around to witness it.

Famous scene from Jurassic Pork

I. Mangrey reporting. Remember, those who do not learn from history are doomed to fuck everything up for the rest of us.