Hard To Get Happy After That

The Manson Gambit

February 14, 2021

Yesterday was likely the second worst day in at least the last 160 years of American history. The first of course being January 6, 2021. It is possible that February 13, 2021 was even worse. On that day, the Constitution was defeated by one of the two major political parties in America. Ratpublicans pressed on undaunted by the truth, uncaring of their oath of office, and loyal to their disgraced leader who now holds them hostage for the foreseeable future.

Lead House impeachment manager Jamie Raskin tried to explain 

the obvious to Ratpublican senators, his next, much easier 

challenge is reported to be teaching astrophysics to actual weasels

Despite Turmp’s Charles-Mansonesque prodding of the malignant mental patients comprising his extended family of racist revolutionaries, who did his bidding and murdered police, literally shit all over the Capitol and inflicted an as yet undetermined amount of damage to our Union, video evidence of which was available absolutely everywhere anyone (with the possible exception of Ratpublican Tommy Tuberville who apparently goes deaf and blind during snowstorms, in addition to being perpetually dumb), 43 Ratpublican senators let Turmp off the hook on a technicality manufactured out of thin air by Mitch Fucking McConnell and no one else.

Turmp’s lead defender, the previously manic Van Der Veen who chases ambulances in Phillydelphia (sic) when he is not masturbating in front of the U.S. Senate, switched gears to depressive as he trudged through his closing dirge. The ambulance chaser’s closing argument was less painful than it was disingenuous and poorly prepared and delivered, and it was excruciatingly painful. Lying at every turn, in order to reinforce the Turmpian delusion of victimhood and fake revolution in the name of white supremacy – which after all, is the single common thread of all the insurrectionists the Inciter-in-chief summoned to the Capitol on January 6. The frequency of his mispronouncing of words surely made his client blush with affection. And the “pretty good” ending Van Der Veen assured at the start of his deluge of dishonesty was coming, landed with a pfffffffffffft.

Turmp defense closer Van Der Veen wondering if it’s safe to 

start his one-man lying douchebag show for the Senate

Notwithstanding having made their case against the traitor Donald Turmp as well as any case has ever been made, 43 Ratpublicans shamelessly voted to acquit the Orange Offender. The twice-IMPEACHED ex-Fake-president now holds not only the record for number of impeachments – and in only a single interminable term – but additionally, can now boast (and you know he will) first and second place for the most lopsided (such as it is) votes to convict, the second impeachment outpacing the first with 57 out the necessary 67 voting in favor.

Meanwhile Mitch Fucking McConnell continues pissing on our legs and telling us Nancy Pelosi is pissing on our legs. After his historically rat-fucking vote to acquit Turmp, Fucking McConnell took to the Floor telling America that the man he just voted to acquit on a non-existent technicality was guilty as sin of what he was IMPEACHED for. But because McConnell himself refused to accept the articles of impeachment in a timely manner (a fact he somehow neglected to mention in his cynical soliloquy), McConnell insisted he and the rest of Turmp’s hand-picked jury needed to vote to acquit. You would be excused for coughing up your cookies from the dizzying…we’ll call it logic…grunted out by the reptilian McConnell. As always, McConnell moved the goalposts in the final seconds of the game. Once again he and the Ratpublicans slam their knee on the neck of democracy.

I wonder if Manson’s lawyer whined and lied so much. At least Charles Manson was convicted for the mayhem and murder committed by his family.

I. Mangrey recalculating.