Return Of The Keystone Caucus

The Crap Rises To The Top 

October 14, 2023

The Fascist/Republican Party simply cannot govern. They cannot even govern their own caucus. Half of them cannot even govern themselves as individuals. The party is rife with numbskulls, racists, petty tyrants and flaming assholes. These are their only talents. They are simply good for nothing but flagrant self-promotion. Hopefully many of them will find themselves out of jobs come November 2024. For now, they are still here holding Congress hostage and terrorizing democracy and the American people.

At the direction of disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president who still rules the Fascist Party with a tiny iron fist, the very-low-IQ Keystone Caucus fired their own henpecked…I mean hand-picked speaker without having a replacement ready to take over. It’s almost like they don’t care about governing. More likely, they don’t know the meaning of the word, or most words for that matter.

The Outhouse Of Representatives

Because of the House fascists patented inanity, they are now paralyzed. And not just mentally. Nothing can budge in the House without a speaker, even a vapid, ineffectual, soulless douche like Kevin McQarthy, or someone who compared himself to KKK douchebag David Duke, or sexual-abuse-adjacent Jim Jordan, or even longshot candidate for speaker rapey pumpkin Donald Trump. All of these quarter-wits voted to overturn the 2020 election. These idiots aren’t even good at shitting their pants.

If there is anyone less qualified, less intellectually and psychologically competent, more of an unrepentant election denier and forever-Trumper, and a shameless insurrectionist than Kevin McQarthy it would be frontrunner du jour and current party nominee for speaker Jim Jordan. John Boehner called Jordan a “legislative terrorist.” And lest we forget, Jordan is still in defiance of a congressional subpoena subpoena – that would be the very same Congress he wants to lead (off a cliff). If Jordan gets the rose and the gavel, all bets are off.

Jordan is a small man physically and intellectually,

but he is huge in the stupid department

If all of this isn’t bad enough, Jordan has received a “complete and total endorsement” from bull goose looney Donald Trump. As of now, Jordan is around 60 votes short of the majority needed to claim the gavel, and around 50 points short of a double-digit IQ.

Hapless House hacks: EmptyG, Boebert Santos, Jordan, Gaetz,
Stefanik, Gossar, Scalise

For his part, after whining about Netanyahu and attacking Israel and describing Hezbollah as “very smart” (at least he hasn’t called them very fine people…yet) Donald Jew-hater Trump is poised to win the Nobel Putz Prize. As they say, the fish rots from the head down, though in this case the entire fish has been rotten for a long, long time.

I. Mangrey reporting.