Broken News - Is It Elvis, Or Is It Memorex?

We Are All Elvis Now

February 10, 2024

We recently learned that Desperate Don thinks he looks like Elvis. Trump lied that “For so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike.” If he meant the King’s present state – having been dead for 46 years – then okay, it’s entirely possible there is a decent resemblance, though even the current Elvis (assuming you don’t believe he’s still alive and hiding out with JFK) is likely healthier than the current Trump. Or maybe if Elvis, in his final days, overweight and drugged up, had his face rearranged by a rabid badger, or pummeled with a baseball bat. If Trump means he looks like Elvis in his prime, he’s out of his tiny little mind. But we knew that.

Pathetic loser Trump posted the picture below, claiming it was out there. He asked his mentally deficient cult members to weigh in on the delusionally imagined resemblance

What is the opposite of resemblance?

No doubt that Trump imagines many big, strong men coming up to him with tears in their eyes, men that never cried in their lives, saying, “Sir, has anyone every told you that you look just like Elvis? In fact, you look more like Elvis than Elvis. How do you do it, sir? Please excuse the tears, sir. Any chance you could sing Love Me Chicken Tender, sir. I bet you sound just like Elvis too. And please sir, would you autograph my dick with a Sharpie?”

This of course is a step down from the Dim One claiming to be “The Chosen One.” Or from his mentally blind, reality-deaf and historically dumb followers acting like Trump is some sort of Orange Jesus.

Not So Swift

On the eve of the Super Bowl, after the well-deserved humiliation that followed Trump’s pitiable plea to be compared to the King, the Thing pivoted away from his latest delusion. He then took another step away from reality and is now trying to sell his minions on a new “separated at birth” type comparison. “Many people are now saying, and they’re saying this very strongly and powerfully, that I am so popular and I would say, well it’s not me saying this, but many very smart people are saying that I am incredibly good looking, possibly the best looking, that I look almost exactly like the mildly talented at best – Taylor Swiffer. I would say that it’s almost impossible to tell which half of the picture is me. But I have better legs.”

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled hallucinations.