Unqualified, Disqualified, ‘S All Good Man

Shirley, I’m Joking

February 8, 2024

There is a bigly debate going on across the land: Should states be permitted to have Donald Jokester Trump thrown off of their state ballots for inciting and supporting an insurrection on the basis of Section Three of the Fourteenth Amendment. 

Section 3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

The Supreme Court – one third of whom were installed by the radical, right-wing Federalist Society via Donald Trump – will be considering this issue today. Some say that four of the justices – in particular the soulless, wildly unprincipled Clarence Thomas (whose wife was up to her eyeballs in Trump’s insurrection) – should recuse themselves. They will not.

After the ridiculously named Civil War – a “civil” war would be a slap-fight, the Constitution was amended to prevent the traitorous secessionists of the Confederacy from ever holding office in the government they tried to overthrow. There is no mention of a need for the miscreant to be judged guilty in a court of law. Section 3 is said to be self-executing: if the person described above is known to have engaged in any way in insurrection, he is automatically disqualified from ever holding office of any kind ever again.

Some of you may have seen Trump incite his cult live on television and subsequently learned that, after his Secret Service detail refused to take him to lead the insurrection personally at the Capitol, watched events unfold at the White House, cheering on his malignant minions, and refusing to act for several hours, instead hoping his forces would prevail.

Retired, self-described constitutional textualist, conservative judge J. Michael Luttig described the insurrection of January 6, 2021 as the “single greatest assault on America's democracy throughout the remainder of history.” Luttig was one of the first, along with highly respected liberal judge emeritus Lawrence Tribe, to bring Section 3 of the Fourteenth to public awareness as Trump’s candidacy began to take off in 2023. Since that time Luttig has been unshakably insistent that states have every right to disqualify the insurrectionist-in-chief.

I admit that initially I had only glee at learning of the possibility of throwing Trump off of some state ballots, thus ensuring he could not win the disgraceful, fake Electoral College this November.

I find that I am now on the fence on this issue. I am not however opposed to throwing Trump off the fence, of a cliff or a 15^th story window in Russia.

Naturally, just like everyone’s favorite disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president, I am merely joking.

Many experts insist that Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment is, as noted above, self-executing. If only Donald Trump was.

Again, in the spirit of everyone's favorite ex-president, totally joking. I’m a kidder, I kid.

I. Mangrey reporting.