It's Okay To Take This Guy At Fake Value
February 20, 2024
A Name, A Family, A Brand You
(Absolutely) Can (Not) Trust
Remember Trump Steaks? Me neither.
Apparently, they were made from actual animals of some sort.
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There is only person known to successfully ingest a Trump Steak and live to tell about
it.
Trump Steaks,
available only at Bun and Run
Like
almost every one of his fraudulent business ventures – like Trump Airline,
Trump Water, Trump Urine Test, Trump University, Trump Presidency – Trump
Steaks was not long for this world. Right now, after being beaten by E. Jean
Carroll and Letitia James, and soon (fingers crossed) Fani Willis, Mr. Pussy
Grabber is watching his beloved flagshit Trump Organization dissolve into a
series of crushing lawsuits.
Trump’s
latest attempts at abject failure were unveiled unleashed recently: a
new cologne and new footwear.
Do
you long for the chance to smell like fraud and failure? Donald Trump’s new eau
de toilette – “Victory 47” – might be just what the dickhead
ordered. It seems Little Donny Stinkbomb is taking the “advice” former Rep.
Adam Kinsinger’s mentioned while describing the aroma engulfing Trump and
assailing those in his vicinity: “It’s not good. The best way to describe it...
take armpits, ketchup, a butt and makeup and put that all in a blender and
bottle that as a cologne.” Oops, don’t think that was meant as advice. But now,
all that can be yours, but be warned – no one knows how many toilette flushes
it will take to rid yourself of Trump’s stench once you realize nobody will
come withing half a mile of you if you even look at the bottle.
Desperate Donald also introduced his new line of knock-off copy-cat sneakers “Never Surrender Hi-Tops” retailing for $399. That is, until in a matter of days or weeks they end up making landfills more disgusting than ever. Many people are saying that the Trump Sneaks are made from all the unsold Trump Steaks, though somehow more nutritious.
So Much Losing
More
losing coming soon: Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg’s 34-count felony Stormy-Daniels-pay-off/election
fraud trial scheduled to begin on March 25th, and a number of lawsuits
filed by injured Capitol Police officers and Democratic lawmakers who were
injured or otherwise harmed by Trump’s violent, twisted Race Force during the
Capitol assault/insurrection could all produce damages adding up to hundreds of
millions more than the already $550 million (and counting) he owes. Here’s
hoping.
Speaking
Of Losing Losers
Trump’s sycophantic
cheerleader and 2024 Veep wannabe Fucker Carlson, after “interviewing” Vladimir
Putin, went shopping and fawning over all the great bargains at Russian
supermarkets (the one he was allowed to see), forgetting the fact that Russians
must cough up around half their salaries to buy all these glorious, super-cheap
groceries. Carlson compared this to the horrible, over-priced offerings here at
home (again, leaving out the fact that Americans are subjected to historically
disgraceful price gouging at the greedy hands of corporations raking in record
profits on our backs).
Carlson told both
viewers that seeing how great Russia is and how strong and powerful Putin is,
he has been radicalized against America. Put this shit maggot on a no-fly list
before he boards a plane heading this way. He could shack-up with Edward Snowden,
except Snowden is an American patriot and Carlson is a traitor.
Being interviewed himself after his own pathetic display of lap-doggery, Carlson defended not asking Putin about the tendency of his opponents to die for no apparent reason when they refused to follow improper 15th-story-window etiquette. He – and I am not making this up – “Every leader kills people. Some kill more than others.” Whi knew? Which of course begs the question (unless the question is being asked by Carlson), how many people did Donald Trump kill during reign? Not counting all the COVID-related deaths he caused.
Here's
an idea: Hey Fucker, if everything is so great in Russia, why don’t you get
yourself a lovely suite in a Russian high-rise – with great big, easily-opened
and very unsafe windows affording spectacular views of the street below, and stay
there? We wouldn’t want you to put yourself through all the American hardships
when you could be luxuriating in Moscow. Permanently.
Quick Update
Amazingly and pathetically, before we were able to go to press, Trump’s mindless, and soon to be penniless, minions quickly bought out all 1000 pairs of his horrendous footwear. Presumably, we will soon all be able to know when we are in the presence of MAGAts without having to engage them in any way. You will know them by their appalling taste in footwear and by their stench.
_________________________________________________
*Except by the surviving families of those who
were stupid enough to actually buy and eat Trump Steaks.
**Sorry, but it was unavoidable.
I. Mangrey reporting. Not buying any of it.
Not even buying a Trumpinator?
ReplyDeleteNow that's a different story. We can't let him take over the entire tri-state area without a fight.
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