House of Cruds

Moscow on the Potomac

The What House?
February 14, 2017

Gen. Mike Flynn, one of the most important members of the White House staff – the National Security Advisor – which is an appointed position beyond the reach of congressional approval and totally at the discretion of the president (even when that president is a mentally unstable narcissist with neither the experience nor the inclination to handle the job), tried to slink away in the middle of the night after letting his country down and possibly betraying another country. The latter would be America. Depending on who you listen to, Flynn resigned, was asked to resign, was told to pretend to resign so he could continue to do his excellent work in the shadows instead of on the record, or he was traded to Russia for a future draft pick and traitors to be named later. Some of these are alternative explanations, but hey, who’s counting? Rep. Chris Collins (R-NY) told Chris Cuomo that no Republican’t leaders have said anything about one of the nation’s highest ranking officials abandoning his post in disgrace less than one month into his tenure because it was Valentine’s day and, "Maybe they're having breakfast with their wives." ‘Tis the treason…I mean season of love I guess. Collins called Flynn “a great American.” Unfortunately for us regular Americans, Flynn is an even greater Russian.

 

Sacrificial Press Secretary Sean Spicer, asked if Chrump had instructed Flynn to discuss sanctions with the Russians bleated, “No, absolutely not. No, no, no – no. And by the way he won the popular vote.” That last sentence might have been an alternative quote. I cannot be sure. Spicer actually said, "The irony of this situation is that the president has been incredibly tough on Russia." No, seriously.

Flynn is hoping to take a bullet for the team, but it is not necessarily his bullet to take. I am sure that the so-called president is hoping for plausible deniability, but my take is that there is nothing plausible about this so-called president – particularly deniability. He is an alternative president and when it comes to Flynn’s most recent dalliances with Russia, Chrump knew about this months ago. All I can say at this point to Chrump is, to paraphrase Bitch McConnell, “He was warned. He was given an explanation. Nevertheless, he persisted.”

As of yet there is no word from the White House other than Spicer passing the buck with, "This idea of why did it take so long, I think the first question should be where was the Department of Justice in this?" It might be that the FBI was still busy celebrating bringing down Hillary Clinton and propping up Russia’s preferred candidate who now haunts our White House. And maybe Jeff Sessions did not want to ruffle any feathers since he had been advising team Chrump throughout the campaign. Oh yeah I almost forgot; Acting Attorney General Sally Yates (that would be the head of the Justice Department Sean) warned the White House (where your boss lives Sean) that Flynn had a serious Russia problem and soon after, Yates was fired - supposedly because she would not defend Chrump's Muslim ban. So Chrump was well aware that Flynn was withholding the truth about his Russian trysts for weeks. Unless of course it was all Chrump’s idea to begin with.

Gratuitous Unflattering Picture of Hair Chrump

Dog of the Hair That Bit You

Chairman of the House Oversight Committee and miserable little shit weasel Rep. Jason Chafetz (R-UT) says he has no intention of investigating anything other than Hillary Clinton’s emails. Oh, any maybe Benghazi. If Clinton had won the popular vote and the Electoral College, Chafetz would be well into his impeachment frenzy by now. Chafetz claims there is simply no need to investigate Flynn’s possible treason because "it'll take care of itself." Go Flynn yourself, Congressman.

I. Mangrey reporting. Oy vey.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Fear and Losing in The White House

Shock and Wha…!?

February 14, 2017

Chrump’s message to America: The only thing we have…is fear itself.

Chrump is obsessed with the mythical hellscape that is inner city black America. He is following in the footsteps of Charles Manson who saw himself as a savior of African Americans. Though Chrump has a long history as a racist, I assume he is not purposely proposing a race war as did Manson. I am sure it is only a coincidence that he has elevated people like Bannon and Sessions and who knows how many other less openly racist scumbags. Chrump’s whole shtick is a Shock and AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHH assault on our senses and is right out of Hitler’s playbook. Lie, distract, blame, frighten, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Depress Secretary Sean Spicer is more than happy to, as George W. Bush said, “catapult the propaganda” as he speaks his boss’s mind. Toxic Spice reminded the press corps that “the Earth is a very dangerous place right now.” If you are not cowering under your dining room table you are a loser and you will be sorry…and then dead.

Newly installed Racist-Attorney General Jeff Sessions, during his acceptance screed, very sternly lied about rising violent crime rates being a "dangerous permanent trend." This lie – I’m sorry, this alternative fact – contradicts FBI data indicating a long-term downward trend in crime rates. "A new era of justice begins and it begins right now."

Yosemite Jeff

Team Chrump vacillates between American Carnage mode and Amateur Hour. From attacking judges, to signing executive orders he has not read, to his idiotic phone calls with world leaders, to his idiotic, dangerous Muslim ban, Chrump is stumbling and bumbling his way into the history books. Chrump is obsessed with Nordstrom treating of his daughter “so unfairly”, tweeting about it when his schedule said he was supposed to be in his daily intelligence briefing. He had the head of Intel hawking a new product from inside the Oval Office. Kellyanne Conjob breaks the law by telling Fakes News viewers to “buy Ivanka’s stuff” from the White House. Chrump is doing exactly as he said he would, running his business above all else and happily running the country as an amateur on the side.

Russian Around the White House

What the hell is it with this White House and Russia? Flynn has been sucking up to Putin for years. Rex Tillerson loves the Russian strongman more than words, or billions of dollars, can say. Bannon misses Stalin. Chrump has made his affection for Putin known over and over. Maybe the Russians wanted Chrump to be president because they know that is the only way to keep him from stiffing them on all the money he owes them, and they would hate to waste a perfectly good poison-tipped umbrella, use up their dwindling supply of polonium on such a pitiable buffoon.

After repeated, strident denials by Mike Pence (who apparently is our vice president) about alleged improper communications between then-citizen Mike Flynn and the Russian Ambassador, a new Washington Post report begs to differ, "Flynn’s communications with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak were interpreted by some senior U.S. officials as an inappropriate and potentially illegal signal to the Kremlin that it could expect a reprieve from sanctions that were being imposed by the Obama administration in late December to punish Russia for its alleged interference in the 2016 election." Flynn himself denied any such communication ever took place. As did Sean Spicer and Reince Priebus as well as Pence. Flynn has since un-denied the charges. The other three lying traitors have not commented further. A spokesman said Flynn “indicated that while he had no recollection of discussing sanctions, he couldn’t be certain that the topic never came up.” Just how stupid do these people think they are?

Well guess what, Crazy Mike Flynn, rather than being the toast of the town is now just plain toast. Not historic, just history. It seems Crazy Mike done went and made Team Chrump’s Russia crush a little too obvious. Their little Guess Who’s Coming to DC did not go so well. Seems We The People who set the dinner table are not that ready to welcome a stranger such as Vlad into Our House. So, with less than one month as National Security Advisor under his belt, Chrump’s pride and joy, his hand-picked general, finds himself looking up at the bus that is running him over and dragging his sorry ass out of town. One cannot help but wonder who ‘suggested’ that Flynn make such a huge, idiotic and illegal mistake.

I. Mangrey reporting. Who’s next?
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Is Chrump Just Joking Us Off?

Don’t Mess With Jackass

February 13, 2017

You mess with Chrump at your peril. Remember, as he has told us, he has a very good brain. He’s like a smart person. He knows more than the generals, more than the lawyers and judges and more than any damned politician. More than the Constitution. But, as Kellyanne Conjob tried to misdirect, “You always want to go by what’s come out of his mouth rather than look at what’s in his heart.” What is wrong with us? Why do we not ignore the words – and they are the best words – that come out of his mouth, or out of his wherever and look at what is in his heart? It might be because as of yet there is absolutely no evidence that Chrump has anything vaguely resembling a heart. Four – maybe even six or seven – out of five doctors say that the only thing beating in his chest is his enlarged ego. Ten out of five doctors say that such an enlarged ego can be more dangerous than an enlarged heart. Chrump is showing us day after day, edict after edict, tweet after tweet exactly what is in his “heart”.

Chrump himself is not shy about showing his true artificial colors. He knows that he is always right and honest. Anyone who knows what is good for them will back the fuck off and show the appropriate respect for Hair Chrump. After hearing of a Texas state legislator who did something he and his minions disagree with, Chrump spewed this, "Who is the state senator? Do you want to give his name? We'll destroy his career." Chrump is a vengeful little man and this is how he deals with anyone who disagrees with him. He claims this was a joke. We have heard his “jokes” before; every time he gets called out for saying something disgraceful, hateful or stupid, Chrump claims he was joking. As they say, there is always a kernel of truth in humor. In Chrump’s case there is no humor, just malice of forethought. Believe me. Many people are saying this. Dozens, maybe millions. Thousands of them were dancing in the streets screaming it.

I guess someone is already tired of all the winning

Chrump’s instinct is to destroy the career of anyone he does not like. Well guess what, Chrump is poised to destroy all of our careers. Most of America did not vote for him and are not on his side. Chrump is the personification of the old saying, “The more I see you the more I like you less.” Presidents generally see their best poll numbers in the first few months in office. His approval numbers are already swirling down the toilet. Maybe Chrump will break yet another mold and the toilet will unflush itself. I will not be holding my breath, not watching to see if the turd reemerges. At some point, even the clueless Chrump will have to admit that he is intensely disliked. The day he realizes he does not like the cut of our jib, that the American people are pissing him off, what do you think he will do to us?

He is tired of just watching you

Chrump’s outburst about destroying a state senator’s career apparently drew laughter from those in the room. Guess you had to be there.  Maybe I just do not have a very good brain – I don’t get the joke. The Texas target of Chrump’s joke might not be overly amused.  I pity the fool who tweeted this:

State Sen. Daylin Leach (D-Montgomery County)

Mr. Chrump apparently has a great deal of free time on his tiny little hands. Word has it that he spends a good deal of time in his bathrobe wandering the halls or watching television. This is how he accumulates all the data with which he calls the shots. As everyone knows.

And he's proud of this for some reason? 

Time Hard – George Dekker

I. Mangrey reporting. Forgive me while I persist.
                                                                                              Mad in USA

Sessions Is In Court

And, We’re Off to The Racists

The Land of Rotten
February 10, 2017

By now everyone has heard about whiny little Bitch McConnell and his all-white-boys choir voted to silence Elizabeth Warren on the floor of the Senate for reading Coretta Scott King’s letter explaining Jefferson Session’s racism. Scott King’s letter was instrumental in keeping the virulent racist Sessions off the federal bench in 1986. Bitch McConnell popped his head out of his shell and invoked a never-used Senate rule that does not allow for that type of honesty on the floor of the Senate. McConnell’s soon-to-be immortal words, “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted,” will echo through American history, which is already beginning to leave stupid white men in the dust. McConnell was wise to leave out the rest of his planned admonition, “She needs to return to her kitchen, take her shoes off and prepare a nice meal for her husband. She is obviously too old to be pregnant, but I won’t hold that against her.”

McConnell’s attack on Warren did not go so well

Elizabeth Warren was desperately trying to stop Alabama’s Jefferson Foghorn Leghorn Sessions from plopping his tiny, racist, 19th century ass down on the Attorney General’s seat. Stupid white men punished Warren, whose most egregious offense apparently was not having a penis, (several male colleagues later took up the mantel, each reading a section of the letter) and made her stand in the corner to think about what she had done. She did think about it and went right to work continuing her effort as best she could. Alas, it was not enough. Sessions was sworn-in as Attorney General, and immediately set about continuing Chrump’s fear-mongering lies about rising crime rates being a "dangerous permanent trend." This lie – I’m sorry, this alternative fact – contradicts FBI data indicating a long-term downward trend in crime rates. It is not our inner cities that need more policing, it is the denizens of our nation’s Capital. I expect our new Attorney General will be completely, and with malice of forethought, missing that point until he breathes his last breath.

Jeff Sessions confronts a voter of color

What’s a Few Massacres Between Friends

Earlier in the week Chrump’s Alternative Facts Czar, Kellyanne Conjob chided Chris Matthews about her boss’s boneheaded and deplorable Muslim ban by claiming Obama did the same thing (he did not) in response to the Bowling Green Massacre. She whined that, "Most people don’t know that because it [the Bowling Green Massacre] didn’t get covered." One reason it did not get covered – and this may or may not be relevant – is that no such event ever took place. Conjob claimed that her mention of the Bowling Green Massacre was an "honest mistake." In fact, there is nothing honest about Conjob, mistakes or otherwise. This is borne out by the fact that she brought up the same non-existent Bowling Green Massacre at least two other times before the Matthews interview. There were more casualties in the Alice’s Restaurant Massacre. Kellyanne really needs to get her alternative facts straight. Fortunately for her, competence is not a job requirement in Chrumpworld.

Conjob shrieks for the alternative president

Also earlier in the week, Chrump decided to go to Central Command and spend some time talking about how wonderful he is, how bigly he won the erection election and generally frightening the troops in person, "We had a wonderful election, didn't we?" he said. "I saw those numbers, and you like me, and I like you. That's the way it works." As we now know, there are some numbers Chrump likes and others that are real numbers. Never knowing when to STFU he added, "Let me recognize our great governor and a very good friend of mine, and somebody who endorsed me, that makes him a better friend of mine. You know, if they don't endorse, believe me, if you're ever in this position, it's never quite the same, OK? You can talk, but it never means the same." Fortunately, our troops are trained to withstand torture. I think it is good for our troops to know that their commander-in-chief is a narcissistic looney bird. What could it hurt?

I. Mangrey reporting.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

The Professor and the Peabrain

Sometimes the Good Die Old

February 9, 2017

 

Many people - dozens, hundreds, possibly thousands - are saying that Donald Chrump has modeled himself after terrible people like Hitler, Musolini and Scott Baio. Rare footage of a recently departed well known figure in American history reveals a much more likely role model for Dear Leader. From the knee-length neckties, to the mind-twisting incoherence, to the vacant stares, to the uniquely coiffed “hair” style, to insisting he is the world’s foremost authority on every topic. Though I am loathe to associate this great man with the World's Foremost Ne’er-do-well, the man who said, "Sometimes, I forget what I'm talking about in the middle of a word," surely laid the groundwork for our new Chucklehead-in-chief. Ladies and gentlemen one of my long-time heroes, the original, the one and only World’s Foremost Authority...

This explains everything. Rest in peace, professor

Ed Venture
Editor, Paying Attention

Tune Up, Turn Off, Chrump Out

America's Savant-less Idiot

February 8, 2017

Times like this make me wish I had majored in Poli-Sci-Fi. I did major in political science for a semester. However, I never studied science fiction to any degree. I never imagined there might be some sort of double major. In fact, I never dreamt that there was any connection. What we are witnessing in 2017 is pure, unadulterated political science fiction in action.

Alec Baldwin, the Alternative Chrump

 

Every new president has a honeymoon period, where they are given breathing room by the opposition, and more importantly, by the public. Even Barack Obama, who was the object of so much hatred and racism, was given a chance by much of the country – in part because of the tremendous relief of finally jettisoning Bush/Cheney. Not everyone took part in the Obama honeymoon. The racists did not budge an inch and Senate Majority Leader and anti-government activist Mitch McConnell, took a hard and disgraceful stand saying, “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Chrump, not having gotten America to sign a pre-nup, decided to junk the honeymoon and go straight to the nasty loser-take-all divorce-from-hell.

Chrump has achieved majority disapproval in record-smashing time. It took Reagan 772 days to get there, Bush the First did it in 1336 days, Bush the Moron took 1205 (and that was after letting 9/11 happen by ignoring his daily briefing warning it was coming, and he was not even elected in the first place). The foreign-born Muslim community organizer Obama (who I might remind you is a black man in America – and president to boot) was on the plus side for 936 days. The Don managed to get on America’s bad side in a mere 8 days. Now on day 20 Chrump has built up a beautiful 12-point difference between his approval and disapproval numbers: Approval – 42%; Disapproval – 54%. He has the best worst approval rating for any new president. And he is clearly just getting warmed up.

Recently on Fakes News, Bill O’Reilly questioned Chrump’s fondness for Putin, calling the Russian strongman “a killer”. Chrump shrugged it off answering, “There’s a lot of killers. We got a lot of killers. Well, you think our country’s so innocent? You think our country’s so innocent?” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the president of the United States. Any takers? It seems that Vlad and Don had a very nice chat – off the record, per Don’s wishes. Nixonian as Chrump is, at least he knows when to turn off the recording equipment. Kudos Mein Furor. Meanwhile, Chrump continues to parrot Putin’s talking points. He disparages judges who dare to disagree with him while apologizing for a murderous dictator…to whom he likely owes huge sums of money, and who may very well be blackmailing him. There is no reason to think otherwise and there is no better explanation for Chrump protecting Putin at every turn. This could all be cleared up easily if he would just show us his birth certificate…I mean tax returns.

Acid trips were never this freaky

Chrump himself believes that laws are either there to protect him, or are simply a nuisance to be ignored and ridiculed. To him the Constitution is nothing but a word, at best a prop to be waved around in order to pretend he is one of us. He has yet to be seen publicly groping the great document as he has done with our nation’s flag. One cannot help but wonder what he does when he sees the Russian flag.

Chrump dry-humps Old Glory

Fun Fact:

Did you know that Chrump’s Assistant Communications Director for Surrogate Operations (whatever the hell that is) Boris Epshteyn, came to this country in 1993 – thanks to the Lautenberg Amendment, named for Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ). I’ll let Boris finish the story for us: "... it was the Lautenberg Amendment ... passed in 1990 [which] loosened the restriction on refugee states and thereby allowed for tens of thousands of Jews like me from the former USSR to come to America". Did I mention that Epshteyn was responsible for drafting Chrump’s Holocaust Remembrance Day message? The one that purposely omitted any mention of Jews? Well, did I?

I. Mangrey reporting.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Where There’s Chrump There’s Liar

CRIPPLED PRESIDENT: HOW TO MAKE CHRUMP NOT PRESIDENT AGAIN

The Country Formerly Known as America
February 6, 2017

In “his” book CRIPPLED AMERICA: You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet (that may not be the correct subtitle) Chrump explained, “The oil is there for the taking; we just have to take it.” This is part Chrump’s “grab ‘em by the pussy” environmental policy. In fact this is Chrump’s general approach to everything. And it appears to be appealing to almost half of our once great nation. Good luck ever making it great again once Chrump’s tiny hands, diseased brain and his fascist/corporate Cabinet From Hell eat away more and more of the fabric of America like radioactive mutant moths.

Candidate Chrump: “We are transferring power from Washington, DC and giving it back to you…the people.”

Post-candidate Chrump: "Just kidding. Sad."

Candidate Chrump promised to make great deals with the pharmaceutical companies to make drug prices more affordable for all Americans. He ran as a protector of the little guy. Post-candidate Chrump sat down with Big Pharma and then announced that he not all that interested in negotiating better prices with them. Instead, “We're going to be lowering taxes, we're going to be getting rid of regulations that are unnecessary.” No need to get great deals for real people when he can get greater deals for fake people – corporations.

Candidate Chrump, and all the Republican’ts in a row, harassed and harangued Hillary Clinton over her use of an unsecured email server. Post-candidate Chrump, who continues to litigate the election, continues to use an unsecured phone to tweet his empty little head off. Experts worry that this is a hacking disaster waiting to happen. Many people are saying they wished this was the worst thing to worry about.

Candidate Chrump repeatedly promised, “to protect and save your Social Security and your Medicare.” Post-candidate Chrump nominated Rep. Tom Price (R-Hell) for Health and Human Services. Price, who likely received financial favors in return for legislative favors, wants to cut millions out of Medicare and privatize it. He admitted the cuts in his confirmation hearing under questioning from Senator Elizabeth Warren. Next he nominated Rep. Nick Mulvaney as Director of the Office of Management and Budget. Mulvaney wants to raise the Social Security retirement age to 70 and probably has other terrific, beautiful plans for one of the world’s greatest safety nets.

Candidate Chrump promised to drain the swamp. He loudly bashed Hillary Clinton for being in the pocket of Goldman Sachs, ad nauseam. Post-candidate Chrump said, "We expect to cut a lot out of Dodd/Frank because frankly I have so many people, friends of mine, who have nice businesses, they can't borrow money because the banks just won't let them borrow because of rules and regulations and Dodd-Frank, so we'll be talking about that in terms of the banking industry." That of course was after filling his cabinet with Goldman Sachs alumni, the CEO of Exxon and a cast of billions…-aires that is. And we should never forget all the great racists and conspiracy theory buffs with whom Chrump has surrounded himself.

Chrump fucks Dodd-Frank…and us

After signing the Fuck Dodd-Frank executive order, Chump was questioned by some of the reporters present. Apparently there were questions about Iran, which was not acceptable to the Child-in-chief. According to entertainment news site The Wrap, a pool briefing said reporters were escorted out of the Oval Office just two minutes after they arrived for a scheduled signing ceremony for Donald Trump’s executive order rolling back key provisions of the Dodd-Frank Act, eliminating multiple regulations on financial institutions. His only reasoning when asked about why he booted reporters was, “They’re not behaving.”

Chrump did manage to create the impression of repealing Obamacare with his first executive order. It did not actually repeal the act, but not to worry, his minions are convinced that Obamacare has been repealed as promised. They also believe that they still have the Affordable Care Act to protect them now that the dreaded Obamacare is gone. Chrump said, “As I have said over and over again repeatedly many, many times Obamacare is a total disaster. Obamacare is a complete and total disaster and we will keep the many good parts. I have spoken with myself and others at great length, in fact the greatest length, about getting rid of this terrible law that has killed so many people. Many people are saying that we must not only repeal it. We must replace it. While my party full of losers has failed to come up with a replacement for seven years, I Donald Chrump have come up with a simple, beautiful amazing thing. I decree today that the terrible Obamacare will be replaced by waterboarding and much worse. This will be terrific, just terrific. I will get rid of sickness in Amerika very quickly. It will be very beautiful. You’re welcome. I can’t believe how easy this president show is. I have already renewed myself for a second season. I have spoken.”

Well at least Chrump kept his promise to get rid of ISIS quickly and beautifully. He didn’t? He did however approve a poorly planned mission in Yemen that resulted in the death of a Navy SEAL and the destruction of a $75M helicopter. Hair Chrump could not be bothered to make it to the Situation Room to observe the mission. Many people are saying that he was busy with his “hair”. Chrumpghazi! I look forward to the endless investigations of Chrumpghazi by Congress with sarcastic breath.

Speaking of Chrump’s “hair”, the drug he takes to stop his unstoppable balding is known to have effects on cognition, mood and mental states have been documented in the scientific literature. Beside the numerous drug-induced insults to his naturally tiny penis, the scientific literature has documented changes in mental abilities, sleeping patterns, and/or depressive symptoms as a result of taking Propecia. That’s our Chrump. I think he should just relax and have a pretzel.

This Just In…

Scott Pelley began tonight’s CBS Evening News with some rare straight talk from the corporate media:

“President Trump told a U.S. military audience that there have been terrorist attacks that no one knows about because the media chooses not to report them. It has been a busy day for presidential statements divorced from reality.”

I. Mangrey reporting. Alternative comments invited.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA

Steve-Rex

Did We Nazi This Coming? Part 2

February 4, 2017

Chrump and the people around him seem very comfortable playing fascist. From alternative facts to draconian executive orders, to slashing regulations to favor corporations over people, to gag orders on numerous government agencies, to ridding the government of anyone who might disagree with Dear Leader. The majority of Americans are fighting depression and terror as Team Chrump runs roughshod over common sense, common decency and democracy. Given Chrump’s well-known distaste for reading, no one should be surprised when he starts ordering public book-burnings. It seems only a matter of time. He certainly has all the best people in place to make it all happen.

Going Bannonas

Stephen Bannon – the lizard man who helps Chrump figure out what he is supposed to think – told a New York Times interviewer, “The media should be embarrassed and humiliated and keep its mouth shut and just listen for a while. You’re the opposition party. Not the Democratic Party. You’re the opposition party. The media’s the opposition party.” Said the man who “used to” head Breitbart News – one of Chrump’s, as well as the America-is-for-whites-only crowd’s, favorite purveyors of alternative facts – “The media has zero integrity, zero intelligence and no hard work.”

Stephen “Chrump’s Brain” Bannon awaits foreign leaders for important meeting

“I want you to quote this,” Bannon said. “The media here is the opposition party. They don’t understand this country." Bannon understands this county, at least the image of it that festers in his fermenting brain. We are starting to see exactly how much that version jibes with the version seen and/or hoped for by the majority of Americans. That would be the same majority of Americans who voted against Chrump. 

Hair Chrump gave the reptilian fascist, white nationalist, anti-Semitic Bannon a permanent seat on the National Security Council in what is bound to become an uncountable number of unprecedented moves. Chrump simultaneously demoted the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to a need-to-know-only attendance status on the NSC except when meetings cover “topics relating to their responsibilities.” So we don’t need intelligence or Pentagon officials getting regular briefings, but we do need whatever the hell Bannon is, at the heart of our national security infrastructure? It is difficult to tell how much of this is megalomania and how much is plain old insanity. Then there is the alternative fact that Chrump knows more than all the experts. He’s, like, a smart person. Either way, it is possible that there might be a slight problem here. Quick somebody wake up the media!

Chrump’s brain – the inside of that thing atop Chrump’s head
 is just as nasty looking as the outside

“I’m a Leninist,” Bannon proudly proclaimed in a 2014 interview. The befuddled interviewer pressed for clarification; Bannon answered, “Lenin wanted to destroy the state, and that’s my goal too. I want to bring everything crashing down, and destroy all of today’s establishment.” One might wonder how Bannon feels now that he is today’s establishment. My guess is that he now wants to destroy everyone else instead. Ignorant Tea Party anger aficionados lapped up Bannon’s “Leninist” strategy for their self-described-though-anything-but populist goals. Bannon happily admitted that he wanted to destroy the Republican and Democratic Parties, as well as the traditional conservative press. At least he is an equal opportunity asshole.

You can make him shave, dress him up and possibly even get him to shower, but you cannot wash away, gloss over or hide the stench that is the very essence of Stephen Bannon. Bannon, benefactor of the Alt-right, has been elevated by Chrump to lead his Alt-reality. It is probably more accurate to say that Bannon found the perfect horse to ride, stroked its mangy mane, saddled up and is now riding into the sunset (of America) on the unsuspecting mount. Yes, every government henhouse has its fox standing guard, but the worst fox of all is in the main henhouse. Bannon – a demented ideologue (who used to work at Goldman Sachs) – with absolutely zero experience, credentials or understanding of any kind when it comes to national security, tells his “boss” to put him on the National Security Council.

In addition to all his other endearing qualities Bannon believes we are on the verge of apocalyptic change, one that he is more than willing to usher in. Add this to a Nixon-like sense of victimhood, born of his inability to gain the expected veneration of his fellow lizards at Goldman Sachs. He is poised to show all of them, and us, who is boss. Read more here if you dare.

In case you haven’t really thought about what the oval office looks like on an average day in the Times of Chrump: 

Chrump, Flynn, Bannon – Three of the stooges.

As if the three live guys, the new gold drapes and the Saddam Hussein-esque desk weren’t bad enough, the Disaster-in-chief has added a picture of the Genocide President, Andrew Jackson to complete the scene that will haunt all of us for an as-yet-to-be-determined period of time.

What Chrump calls the best and the brightest, is unsurprisingly the worst and the darkest. If there is any light at the end of this tunnel, it will be very difficult to see for the foreseeable future, and that light might well turn out to be the flames of hell. Or with a little luck…

I. Mangrey reporting. Interested, intrepid, irate.
                                                                                          Mad in USA

President Evil

“Trust me,” Chrump likes to say, “I’m, like, a smart person.”

The World According to Chrump
February 2, 2017

The good news is, we won’t have to wait for climate change
to kill us off slowly.

 

Chrump: More of a Dick Than Nixon

A Muslim ban by any other name still stinks the same. Our enemies could not be happier. On December 7, 2015 we heard this, “Donald J. Chrump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on.” Total and complete. Fairly unambiguous. Then he executed an Executive Order that appears to everyone not beholden to Chrump as, at the very least, phase one.

One thousand State Department diplomats have voiced their opposition to Chrump’s Muslim Ban™. "I think that they should get with the program or they can go," Spicer said at the daily press briefing, referring to State Department staff who "have a problem" banning people from the seven countries.

In addition, more than 100 former officials who served under past presidents from both parties signed a letter calling on the current heads of multiple government agencies to urge Chrump to “revisit and rescind” his disgraceful executive order on immigration and refugees – or as it is referred to behind closed doors – Chrump’s Muslim Ban™. Sure, at the moment it is neither total nor complete, but there is still plenty of time for that.

Acting Attorney General, and career Justice Department prosecutor Sally Yates was not convinced that Chrump’s Muslim Ban™ was lawful. She stated that the Justice Department would not defend the executive order under her watch. And guess what? We quickly got to see exactly what happens to anyone who dares to disagree with Der Furor. Yates was immediately fired and replaced with someone who will march in lockstep with Chrump. Constitution be damned. Should the Attorney General uphold the law or The Chrump? Perhaps Chrump is the law. Tune in tomorrow; it is only day 13.

During Sally Yates’ Senate confirmation hearing to be Deputy Attorney General in 2015, one Jefferson Beauregard Sessions asked Yates, “Do you think the attorney general has the responsibility to say no to the president if he asks for something that's improper?” Yates replied, “Senator, I believe that the attorney general or the deputy attorney general has an obligation to follow the law and the Constitution, and to give their independent legal advice to the president.” That was not sufficient for the slimy little weasel from Alabama. He added, “…No matter how headstrong they might be. Do you feel like that's the duty on [sic] the attorney general's office?” Yates again answered in the affirmative. Sessions was obviously concerned that the black president might overstep his bounds – not know his place as it were – and get carried away with his power. Apparently this only applies when both the president and the AG are Democrats. Republican’ts are above such inconveniences.

One of the truly brilliant aspects of Chrump’s Muslim Ban™ was the way they rolled it out without notifying a single one of the appropriate intelligence or security agencies, like the Department of Homeland Security, the State Department, Department of Defense, Customs and Border Patrol or the National Security Council. According to our best alternative sources, it was written in crayon and feces.

Not everyone thinks Muslim bans are cool

Chrump's administration wants to repurpose the "Countering Violent Extremism" program so that it focuses solely on "radical Islamic extremism." Under the new regime, the program would no longer focus on groups like white supremacist organizations which have carried out attacks in the United States, according to the report. According to Reuters, the program would be renamed "Countering Islamic Extremism" or "Countering Radical Islamic Extremism."

Also, Reuters has instructed its journalists to "practice skills learned" in hostile countries and warzones as a template for dealing with the Chrump administration. They suggest using the same style of reporting used in countries “in which the media is unwelcome and frequently under attack.”

Once Chrump has finished aiding and abetting ISIS he will have more time to set about his next big move – annexing Tijuana. Chrump to Mexico’s Peña Nieto, "You have a bunch of bad hombres down there." Yes he actually said this to the president of Mexico, adding, "You aren't doing enough to stop them. I think your military is scared. Our military isn't, so I just might send them down to take care of it." The White House website is no longer available in Spanish. Hopefully Chrump will have to pay for it. 

The Emperor Has No Brains

Meanwhile, the Idiot Bastard President approved his first covert special ops raid in Yemen and I bet he was so excited he even forgot how small his hands were for a minute. However, much to no one’s surprise, except his, it did not go so well. The elite commandos ended up in a fierce 50-minute firefight that left Chief Petty Officer William Owens dead, three others wounded and a $75 million aircraft deliberately destroyed" after a “hard landing”. A large number of civilian casualties has also been reported. Why, you ask, did this mission go so terribly wrong? "U.S. military officials" said that Chrump "approved his first covert counterterrorism operation without sufficient intelligence, ground support or adequate backup preparations." Odd, he usually seems so prepared and detail oriented. So for those of you keeping score, it is Chrump: 1 - America: 0…actually, -1

And He is Not Alone

“Instead of being thankful to the United Sates…Iran is now feeling emboldened. As of today we are officially putting Iran on notice. Thank you.” These are the words of a man who wants, more than anything, to go to war against as many Arab states as possible. Lucky for him, is now National Security Advisor to the Commissar-in-chief. Not so great for the rest of humanity.

You probably already knew that Flynn threatening Iran and Chrump threatening Mexico simply was not enough. Next stop – Australia. Chrump insulted one of our most loyal allies on a shortened phone call to the Aussie Prime Minister. Then he turned off the recording equipment so no one would know what he said in his phone rendezvous with his BFF Vladimir Putin. Clearly the biggest threat to American security and global stability is Don “The Orange Gas Cloud” Chrump.

Coming Soon Everywhere

I. Mangrey reporting. Are we dreaming?
“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…”