President Evil

“Trust me,” Chrump likes to say, “I’m, like, a smart person.”

The World According to Chrump
February 2, 2017

The good news is, we won’t have to wait for climate change
to kill us off slowly.

 

Chrump: More of a Dick Than Nixon

A Muslim ban by any other name still stinks the same. Our enemies could not be happier. On December 7, 2015 we heard this, “Donald J. Chrump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on.” Total and complete. Fairly unambiguous. Then he executed an Executive Order that appears to everyone not beholden to Chrump as, at the very least, phase one.

One thousand State Department diplomats have voiced their opposition to Chrump’s Muslim Ban™. "I think that they should get with the program or they can go," Spicer said at the daily press briefing, referring to State Department staff who "have a problem" banning people from the seven countries.

In addition, more than 100 former officials who served under past presidents from both parties signed a letter calling on the current heads of multiple government agencies to urge Chrump to “revisit and rescind” his disgraceful executive order on immigration and refugees – or as it is referred to behind closed doors – Chrump’s Muslim Ban™. Sure, at the moment it is neither total nor complete, but there is still plenty of time for that.

Acting Attorney General, and career Justice Department prosecutor Sally Yates was not convinced that Chrump’s Muslim Ban™ was lawful. She stated that the Justice Department would not defend the executive order under her watch. And guess what? We quickly got to see exactly what happens to anyone who dares to disagree with Der Furor. Yates was immediately fired and replaced with someone who will march in lockstep with Chrump. Constitution be damned. Should the Attorney General uphold the law or The Chrump? Perhaps Chrump is the law. Tune in tomorrow; it is only day 13.

During Sally Yates’ Senate confirmation hearing to be Deputy Attorney General in 2015, one Jefferson Beauregard Sessions asked Yates, “Do you think the attorney general has the responsibility to say no to the president if he asks for something that's improper?” Yates replied, “Senator, I believe that the attorney general or the deputy attorney general has an obligation to follow the law and the Constitution, and to give their independent legal advice to the president.” That was not sufficient for the slimy little weasel from Alabama. He added, “…No matter how headstrong they might be. Do you feel like that's the duty on [sic] the attorney general's office?” Yates again answered in the affirmative. Sessions was obviously concerned that the black president might overstep his bounds – not know his place as it were – and get carried away with his power. Apparently this only applies when both the president and the AG are Democrats. Republican’ts are above such inconveniences.

One of the truly brilliant aspects of Chrump’s Muslim Ban™ was the way they rolled it out without notifying a single one of the appropriate intelligence or security agencies, like the Department of Homeland Security, the State Department, Department of Defense, Customs and Border Patrol or the National Security Council. According to our best alternative sources, it was written in crayon and feces.

Not everyone thinks Muslim bans are cool

Chrump's administration wants to repurpose the "Countering Violent Extremism" program so that it focuses solely on "radical Islamic extremism." Under the new regime, the program would no longer focus on groups like white supremacist organizations which have carried out attacks in the United States, according to the report. According to Reuters, the program would be renamed "Countering Islamic Extremism" or "Countering Radical Islamic Extremism."

Also, Reuters has instructed its journalists to "practice skills learned" in hostile countries and warzones as a template for dealing with the Chrump administration. They suggest using the same style of reporting used in countries “in which the media is unwelcome and frequently under attack.”

Once Chrump has finished aiding and abetting ISIS he will have more time to set about his next big move – annexing Tijuana. Chrump to Mexico’s Peña Nieto, "You have a bunch of bad hombres down there." Yes he actually said this to the president of Mexico, adding, "You aren't doing enough to stop them. I think your military is scared. Our military isn't, so I just might send them down to take care of it." The White House website is no longer available in Spanish. Hopefully Chrump will have to pay for it. 

The Emperor Has No Brains

Meanwhile, the Idiot Bastard President approved his first covert special ops raid in Yemen and I bet he was so excited he even forgot how small his hands were for a minute. However, much to no one’s surprise, except his, it did not go so well. The elite commandos ended up in a fierce 50-minute firefight that left Chief Petty Officer William Owens dead, three others wounded and a $75 million aircraft deliberately destroyed" after a “hard landing”. A large number of civilian casualties has also been reported. Why, you ask, did this mission go so terribly wrong? "U.S. military officials" said that Chrump "approved his first covert counterterrorism operation without sufficient intelligence, ground support or adequate backup preparations." Odd, he usually seems so prepared and detail oriented. So for those of you keeping score, it is Chrump: 1 - America: 0…actually, -1

And He is Not Alone

“Instead of being thankful to the United Sates…Iran is now feeling emboldened. As of today we are officially putting Iran on notice. Thank you.” These are the words of a man who wants, more than anything, to go to war against as many Arab states as possible. Lucky for him, is now National Security Advisor to the Commissar-in-chief. Not so great for the rest of humanity.

You probably already knew that Flynn threatening Iran and Chrump threatening Mexico simply was not enough. Next stop – Australia. Chrump insulted one of our most loyal allies on a shortened phone call to the Aussie Prime Minister. Then he turned off the recording equipment so no one would know what he said in his phone rendezvous with his BFF Vladimir Putin. Clearly the biggest threat to American security and global stability is Don “The Orange Gas Cloud” Chrump.

Coming Soon Everywhere

I. Mangrey reporting. Are we dreaming?
“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…”