It's Nap Time in America

Someone Needs a Timeout

Kindergarten, DC
February 19, 2017

There are horse whisperers and dog whisperers, elephant whisperers and probably hog whisperers. These special people are able to communicate with animals and help them to be calm. We are now witnessing Steve Bannon the demented Chrump whisperer – more of a horse’s ass whisperer. Rather than having a calming effect on his creature, Bannon urges his pet president to commit repeated acts of insanity (as if Chrump needed any help, given his innate problems with the inside of his head, which are exacerbated by the medication he takes for the outside of his head).

I miss the good old days when a sociopath like Son of Sam listened to his neighbor’s dog, who only wanted a few people killed, rather than Son of Fred who listens to Bannon’s bidding to destroy the whole world. Bannon knows that his boy cannot read more than 140 characters at a time – and only two or three times in a single day – before his tiny brain begins smoldering, threatening to ignite the stuff attached to the top of his head and consequently endangering the fragile stability of entire world. Bannon explains what he wants Chrump to know as he places important documents in front of the Orange Gas Cloud, who happily signs away whatever it is just like good old Gov. William J. LePetomane.

 

Look what I did. Hey, I didn’t get a harumph out of you!

Chrump is like a little child who learns a new word, or how to swear or whistle. They begin doing whatever it is incessantly because it is new and exciting and empowering. Chrump has learned how to sign executive orders – not read them mind you, but he sure can sign them. He is so excited to be in charge. He hopes that his new powers will overshadow his deep-seated self-loathing and insecurity. Chrump will continue to wield his pen since he has long been unable to wield his penis. He is not “like a smart person”. He is not anything like a president. He is a cross between a spoiled brat and Godzilla. His tantrums can take out entire cities. With all due respect, he needs a serious spanking. Unfortunately he is incapable recognizing pain, criticism or reality.

It is not unusual for new presidents to flood the zone with executive orders, but Chrump thinks anything longer than 140 characters that comes into his head needs to be an executive order. It took almost two weeks to get him to stop ‘executive ordering’ lunch every day.

I have the best signture. The best.

Judges suck. I am the law.
The press sucks. I am the news.

 

I. Mangrey reporting. I do not whisper.