Chrump Tweets While America Melts

Donald Twitterhands Thumbs Again

October 22, 2019

After Chrump’s epic failure yanking troops out of Syria – against the unanimous opposition by all his great generals and most Republican'ts – and his other attempt to force impeachment down his own throat by self-selecting his own resort to host the next G-7, Chrump dug his bone-spur-covering heels in deeper.  Sort of.  First he backed down (a favorite Chrump deal-making maneuver) from forcing world leaders to endure a week at Doral.  What Chrump neglected to mention, while blaming Democrats and the media for making such a big deal about him breaking the law, was that many Republicant’s were horrified by the very thought of hosting world leaders at a location named for the sitting (except while golfing) president.  His own party begged him to nix the deal.

Next, Chrump decided maybe he would not remove all of the troops he thoughtlessly and precipitously pretended he was pulling out of Syria.  I know what you’re thinking - only a very stable genius could pull off such a brilliant maneuver.  Not sure where the troops will hang their helmets right now since we had to bomb our own abandoned base to smithereens in order to keep the ammunition we left behind from enemy (Turkey?) hands.  Some people are also wondering what will become of the dozens of nuclear weapons we have in Turkey.  Unfortunately, Chrump is not one of those people.

Der Furor naturally took to Twitter to share his “thoughts” on all this…

 

Stay tuned for more unparalleled insights and criminal diddling from our soon-to-be-impeached Sad Sack-in-chief.

I. Mangrey retweeting. 

Moldy Old Fogey’s Double Bogey

Bloated Bully/Buffoon Bails on Blatant Breach of Constitutional Covenant

October 21, 2019

Il Douche’s latest attempt to profit from his ill-gotten time in the White House revolved around hosting the next G-7 (G-8 after he announces that he is flouting world opinion and inviting Putin to be his plus-one).  Chrumpy the Clown had unilaterally decided that the best place in the entire world to host the summit – which his fake chief-of-staff Mick Mulvaney told reporters would NOT include discussion of global climate crisis – was a Chrump property.  Specifically, Chrump National Doral, his badly failing, bedbug and rat-infested shithole golf resort.  After lying about how the location was selected, lying about doing it all for cost, attempting to choke the life out of the Constitution’s Emoluments Clause, and being the first president to be fact-checked live from space, Puffy the Magic Douchebag quickly tweeted his surrender.  Even some Republican’ts stood up on their hind legs and voiced discontent with Chrump’s latest perfidy.  Chrump of course blamed everyone but himself. 

Puffy the Magic Douchebag, golfs by the sea 

It is likely his army of lawyers cajoled the Orange Gas Cloud into backing down rather than face yet another article of impeachment.  No one can actually know what passes for thought inside the bony cavity that supports the hairspray-heavy mass of what many people are calling Chrump’s “hair,” but the weak, mentally challenged blob of hate running the federal government caved again.  He will have to content himself with the impulsive, insane abandonment of the Kurds – his latest gift to Putin – and his totally fake cease-fire and the fact that he is still not in jail as his big wins for the week.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Just callin' 'em the way I see 'em.

What's Eating You?

Eat The Rich?

October 18, 2019

“When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 18^th Century

During the days of my youth, in response to corporate unrelenting greed and oppression (not that it was anything new), angry young men and women were known to say, “Eat the rich.”  I understand now that this sentiment was somewhat hyperbolic and perhaps a bit meanspirited.  And, given the “Did I mention that I’m really rich” guy in the White House, what could be less appetizing than the thought of even figuratively making a repast of this mass of toxic sludge in a clownishly tailored suit…or more commonly, a golfing outfit. 

As is so often the case, the sentiment was not a new one, as evidenced by the opening quote.  Not unlike Bernie Sanders’ current message of taking it to the one percent, that sentiment has proven to be quite understandable, and not entirely hyperbolic.  Today, the level of inequality, both financial and political, only continues to worsen.  Some people insist that this is simply a natural fluctuation, while others believe that this imbalance is man-made.  Many people are saying that the incessant, unnecessary, massive tax cuts for the already indecently wealthy might have something to do with it.

Donald Chrump may or may not be the richest man ever to hold the highest office, but he is undoubtedly the greediest and most corrupt we have ever seen, and hopefully ever will see.  Those who blindly follow this pseudo-billionaire and fake president continue to delude themselves into believing that they too can become, like their hero, rich, stupid and famous.  They are, to be fair, one third of the way there, but the other two thirds are much more difficult to achieve.  America’s economic climate has become deadlier over time, with income inequality perhaps at an all-time worst, destroying the social/economic landscape as surely as weather-related climate change is destroying the physical landscape.  To those deniers of economic climate change, in memory of my younger days, I would say with every bit of respect you are due, “Bite me.”

Though the eat-the-rich mantra might not have been the best way to express the growing frustration with the wealthiest among us, what is happening now makes this phrase seem less bombastic.  Now that we have a fake billionaire in the White House, who promised to “drain the swamp” and keep monied interests out of Washington, DC, it is becoming more and more the case that the rich are eating us.  The vast majority of us are frighteningly close to being Soylent Green.  The obscenely rich are siphoning off not just the wealth, but the very essence of society at large.  Next they will be coming for our precious bodily fluids. 

I. Mangrey reflecting.  What’s for dinner?                                         

                                                                                                                 

Of Chrump and Men

Move Over Lennie

October 16, 2019

Poor Donnie did not know any better.  Yes, he appeared to be one of the nastiest, most selfish and hateful  creatures ever to walk the face of the Earth.  He had no idea how to interact with members of his or any other species.  To the casual observer, he appeared unquestionably heartless, sickeningly crude and unceasingly vicious.  But he was not mean, he was instead horrifically damaged goods.  Nonetheless, everything he touched either turned to shit or ended up dead. 

No matter how much anyone tried to talk sense to the over-sized, under-brained brute, Donnie simply could not help himself.  He hurt those he loved as much as he trampled those he hated.  If he had been in possession of even a speck of self-awareness, he might have realized that he was at every turn inflicting incalculable damage on himself.  The fact that he was so stunningly ignorant and self-absorbed, was very likely the only thing that saved countless lives that would have otherwise ended up as collateral damage.  No one could have brought Donnie’s reign of horror to a close without Donnie’s own inescapable penchant for self-destruction.

Despite the fact that far too many showed him undeserved affection, Donnie hated almost everyone and loved (if it could be called love…and it most certainly could not) only one – himself.  He hated sharks, flies, mosquitoes, all but one of his children, and anyone who ever dared disagree with him, unless Donnie was later able to publicly humiliate them and cause them to kiss his horrifying ass.  No matter what, Donnie would ruin their lives, if only by virtue of the mortal, if not fatal, miscalculation of being known to have associated with him.

Somebody tell him about the fucking rabbits already…

before anyone else gets hurt

In the end there was no choice but to put poor, demented Donnie out of our misery.  Though the end came too late for many it was still a relief, and hope remained that one day, however far off, there would be some level of recovery, though it seemed depressingly unlikely that anything would ever be the same again. 

I. Mangrey reporting.  Somewhere Over the Painbow.

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Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow

Howdy Gowdy

October 12, 2019

Chrump is reportedly bringing in former Rep. Trey “Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi” Gowdy to reportedly another public mouth for his anti-impeachment team.  Gowdy is set to leave Fux News and join Chrump’s “legal” team to help protect the Orange Gas Cloud from himself and his immanent impeachment by the House of Representatives. 

You would not know it to look at him – you would likely not know anything good about him to look at him – but some say he is a good lawyer.  Mostly, though, they are the same ones who say Chrump is a good president. 

My guess is that Chrump figures the dumber the haircut the smarter they must be.  After all, one assumes Chrump looks in the mirror every day before he appears in public, thinking, “I have the best “hair” probably in history.  No one has “hair” like this.  It’s perfect “hair.”  The most perfect “hair” ever.  Believe me.  I better send my girl out to the store, I’m down to my last ten cans of hairspray and that will be gone by noon unless I can stay inside all day.”

Only his hair stressor knows for sure

“The notion that you can withhold information and documents from Congress, no matter whether you’re the party in power or not in power, is wrong. Respect for the rule of law must mean something, irrespective of the vicissitudes of political cycles.”
                               Trey Gowdy, June 20, 2012

Is there any doubt that Gowdy will be as dogged a pursuer of truth and justice in 2019 as he said he was in 2012?  He has much to live up to, joining all the best people and all.

Gowdy’s new boss has said repeatedly that Article II of the Constitution gives him unlimited power to do whatever he wants.  Gowdy’s boss also seems to believe that his supreme executive power means that anyone who works for him, has ever worked for him, has ever known anyone who works for him or has ever heard of him is disqualified from talking to Congress about anything other than what a great president he is or how huge his inauguration crowd was.

What a Tangled Web We Weave When We Are Lying Sacks of Shit

The announcement of Gowdy’s new position coincides with the arrest by the FBI of two buddies of Chrump’s other mouthpieceofshit Rudy Giuliani for funneling foreign money into political campaigns.  Take one guess whose.  Igor Fruman and Lev Parnas were intercepted hours after lunching with Rudy at Chrump International Hotel in DC (which, according to the law, Chrump should have been ousted from, and is ground zero for Chrump’s Emoluments Clause violations).  

Fruman and Parnas, both born in the former Soviet Union and up to their eyeballs in Chrump’s Ukraine scandal, were planning a one-way trip to Vienna, Austria.  Fruman and Parnas operated companies called 'Fraud Guarantee' and 'Mafia Rave'.  The two were relieved of their potential frequent flyer miles at Dulles International Airport and are now guests of the federal government in a secure location.  Giuliani cancelled his planned one-day (not one-way, unfortunately for all of us, including Rudy it seems) trip to Vienna shortly thereafter.

Fruman, Parnas and Giuliani sharing a happy, albeit ugly and stupid moment

The same happy threesome with another buddy (who says he never met two of them)

Rumors are that Chrump is looking for a new chief-of-staff…

Apparently, Chrump is not only one with an animal on his head

UPDATE:

There is talk that Mr. Gowdy may not be joining the Chrump team after all.  Perhaps he is smarter than he looks.  Or maybe he got a new hairdo.

I. Mangrey reporting.  I’ve got a feeling.

Impeachment is For Sissies

HINT: Chrump Is a Sissy.

October 10, 2019

The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and
other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
U.S. Constitution, Article I, Section 2, clause 5

The White House has put its little foot down, proclaiming in a letter to House Democrats that it will not cooperate with the impeachment inquiry of purported Sudafed addict Donald J. Chrump.  ChrumpCo claims the impeachment process is “illegitimate.”  Der Furor, who can barely spell ‘Constitution’ let alone read it, has called the Constitutionally mandated Congressional responsibility a “scam,” a “fix” and a “coup.” 

One of Chrump’s Fux-lawyer mouthpieces described the impeachment inquiry as “regicide” and called whistle-blowers “suicide bombers.”  Some might be interested to know that impeachment preceded their beloved Second Amendment, seeing as it shows up in Article I of the Constitution, so it is entirely possible that the Founding Fathers thought it was pretty damned important.

The White House counsel said of the impeachment inquiry, “…the President cannot allow your constitutionally illegitimate proceedings to distract him and those in the Executive Branch from their work on behalf of the American people.”  Because, you know, they are doing such a bang-up job.  You know, like throwing the Kurds under the bus and destroying America’s standing all across the globe, plus all the great golfing, tweeting and TV watching Chrump does.  The Orange Gas Cloud has promoted himself from “very stable genius” to “extremely stable genius” and told us how China respects his “very, very large uh-brain”; now he warns us not to question his “great, unmatched wisdom.”  I kid you not.  Apparently, the qresident’s brain spurs are flaring up again.

“You’re out of order. The Constitution is out of order. My brain is out of order.”

The American public is increasingly realizing that the Chrump presidency is illegitimate.  At best.  We now see 58 percent of the American public supporting the impeachment inquiry.  Fifty-one percent of registered voters now favor removing Putin’s puppet from the People’s House...according to a new Fux News poll.  Raise your hand if you think these numbers are going anywhere but up.

Only 34 percent approve of the way Chrump is handling his impeachment inquiry.  Does that mean only one Chrump child – Ivanka, Don, Jr. or Eric – agrees with their despicable dad?

Lindsey Graham, finger-wagging fuckwit

Chrump and team of legal contortionists are clearly trotting out the old “When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal” canard as their primary defense.  Nixon famously uttered those cringe-worthy, anti-democratic, borderline insane words to interviewer David Frost several years after he resigned in utter (albeit seemingly oblivious to) disgrace.  The main difference this time, beside the fact that Chrump is infinitely worse than Nixon, is that these legal masturbators masterminds are using Nixon’s shameful insult to the Constitution pre-emptively. 

In fact, Chrump’s Department of Justice is in essence trying to relitigate Nixon’s impeachment inquiry by by trying to persuade a judge that the decision to make Nixon turn over his gloriously incriminating tape recordings was incorrect.  To which the judge hearing this amazing legal lunacy replied, “Wow.  The Department [of Justice] is taking an extraordinary position in this case.”

“Am I talking to ME?”

I wonder why Chrump does not think that like trade wars, impeachments are “good and easy to win.”  He actually did think this until some one explained to him what an impeachment was.

I. Mangrey reporting.                                                                                           

                                                                             

Little Miss Dick

Voters of Wyoming, Unite! You Have Nothing to Lose But Your Cheneys

October 9, 2019

Lest we forget, Donald Chrump is not the only dimwitted ne’er-do-well running amok in our federal government.  The Republican’t party has a bevy of bozos like Jim Jordan, Louie Gohmert, Devin Nunes, Matt Gaetz, Steve King, Linsey Graham, Betsy DeVos to name a few.  We will ignore of the time being the more subdued schmucks like Mike Pence, Bill Barr, Mike Pompeo, Rick Perry and Ben Carson.  The subject of today’s brief respite from the top twit is one of the newest mindless misfits, one with a recognizable name, being the daughter of a well-known ex-second-in-command. 

Liz Cheney recently commented on a court battle that pitted a large coalition of Native American tribes against Chrump’s Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS).  The FWS wanted to make it easier to murder Grizzlies, because GUNS.  The court determined that the ability to murder endangered bears was not the best use of our natural resources.  And the massive Native alliance prevailed.  Dick’s little girl was not happy about the judge’s decision to continue to protect the Grizzly Bears around Yellowstone via the Endangered Species Act.  I am surprised that a Cheney would be in favor of hunting animals that were not pre-crippled.  She whined about “radical environmentalists” who were “intent on destroying our Western way of life.” 

Fun fact: those radical environmentalists happen to be a near-historic alliance of Native American tribes. 

Tom Rodgers, a senior adviser to the Rocky Mountain Tribal Leaders Council, had a response, “So, in striving to protect our culture, our religious and spiritual freedoms, our sovereignty and our treaty rights – all of which are encapsulated in the grizzly issue – we are ‘destroying’ Cheney’s idea of the ‘Western way of life’?  I would remind the Congresswoman that at the time of the Lewis and Clark Expedition an estimated 100,000 grizzly bears roamed from the Missouri River to the Pacific Coast.  That was all Indian Country.  Now there are fewer than 2,000 grizzly bears and our people live in Third World conditions on meager reservations in the poorest counties in the U.S.  Does she really want to talk about ‘destroying’ a ‘way of life’?”  Apparently, yes, she does.

Daddy’s little Dick
Which is which?  Their hands won’t give them away.

You might be interested, albeit nauseated, to know that word on the street is that Little Dick Cheney is running for president in 2024.  Our sources report that Cheney-the-younger has told potential sugar daddies that she “could shoot someone in the face, get them to apologize, and still not lose any supporters”…once she gets some.

I. Mangrey.  No apology.

 

Thought For The Day

Donald Chrump: The Un-president

October 8, 2019

“I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction of the Constitution.”
       Rep. Barbara Jordan (D-TX) July 25, 1974, Nixon’s 11^th hour

And Nancy Pelosi now has them in her possession…
be a shame if anything were to happen to them

The Un-president is known for grabbing the Senate by the pussy…

The Senate’s pussy – Linsey Graham

Pussy and Grabber

Chrump is undeniably, unwaveringly, unbelievably unsane.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?