Long-time grifter and soon-to-be-ex-Energy Secretary Rick
Perry recently told an interviewer that, of course Donald Chrump was chosen by
God.Many of Chrump’s diehard supporters
believe the same thing.Of course, many
of them also believe the Earth is flat, life begins at rape, science is a hoax,
and Jesus rode dinosaurs in the dino-rodeo…or something.
I cannot help but wonder, exactly what has God chosen him to do? I am no expert on Christianity, or any religion for that matter, but from all the available evidence - and there is more than anyone would really care to have - there is no one less Christian, less godly than Donald Chrump. The only Commandment Chrump has not broken (at least not directly, as far as we know), is Thou shalt not kill.
A new poll found that 53 percent of Republican’t voters
believe Donald Chrump is a better president than Abraham Lincoln.Yes, that Abraham Lincoln.A brand-new Paying Attention poll finds that
65 percent of Republican’t voters did not know who Abraham Lincoln was, and
think that slavery was a hoax perpetrated by George Soros to help Jews control
the world and make everyone eat bagels.The
other 35 percent seem to know who Lincoln was, but only know that he was the jerk who
screwed up slavery.
Devin Nunes is the rank(ing) member of the House
Intelligence Committee.There is
something about his eyes.It is not a
sparkle.It is not a glimmer.Nunes’s eyes give the impression that he is
either emotionally dead inside or brain-dead inside, but he is (assuming he is
not some sort of defective robot) in fact alive.I do not have a problem with that, but I do
have a problem with him skulking among the general population.Devin Nunes belongs behind bars.He was acting illegally during the Mueller
investigation, making secret midnight runs to tell the subject of the
investigation – Criminal-in-chief Donald Chrump – what Mueller was looking at. This information was meant to be secret,
especially from our anti-president.
Devin Numbnuts
Nunes, when he was not busy telling viewers of the
impeachment hearings to change the channel or turn off the sound, or spouting
insane conspiracy theories, or calling the committee chairman corrupt, was concealing
a little something.Hidden within Nunes’
alleged brain like the 220 pounds of trash discovered in the belly of a recently
beached whale was not trash.It was
instead potentially (definitely) bombshell information that the committee might
have found interesting.Turns out Nunes needs to lawyer up and fast. Side note: A group of Scottish marine
researchers who autopsied on the juvenile sperm whale after its death Thursday
morning called the massive cache of trash discovered inside the dead sea mammal
both “stunning” and “shameful.”They
could just as easily have been talking about Nunes. Maybe it was an oversight.Maybe
Nunes forgot that he was a key figure in the very crime he was pretending to be
investigating. Maybe it was extremely cold
and Nunes was suffering from severe shrinkage…of his already miniscule brain.It could happen.
Now it turns out that Nunes was up to his
deer-in-the-headlights-eyeballs in the Ukraine debacle.Recently disclosed phone records show that Nunes
was in close contact with many of the Chrump/Giuliani international crime syndicate
throughout the Ukraine shake-down episode, which apparently is ongoing.Nunes was spending oodles of quality time on
the phone with, among others, Giuliani and his now-indicted, currently-behind-bars-awaiting-trial
“business” associate, Lev Parnas. Parnas
is now eager to cooperate with investigators, which might not be great news for
all the other criminals in and around the White House.Parnas, who looks to be about as bright as
Devin Nunes, might turn out to be one of the less pathetically idiotic players
in Chrump’s game of Dumbass.
Nunes should have recused himself from the entire process
before day one, but that is not how Republican’ts do things.They do not believe in democracy, or honesty,
or due process or the Founding Fathers, or their damn Constitution.Hold them to account.Lock them up.Vote them out.Whatever it
takes.Or America is over.
Maybe the best
Impeachment Season ever
I. Mangrey reporting.Too much malarkey for me to be involved in.
So far it has been a pretty good Impeachment Season.So much lovely testimony.Sure, it has not been enough to penetrate the
cult-collective-mind.Yet.We do not need them all, just a small percentage.Strategically placed throughout the Electoral
College. Just remember, it ain’t over
until the fat man is dragged kicking and screaming from the White House.Hopefully, the only singing he might do will
be to a prosecuting attorney or someone like her.
I love this time of year.The impeach trees are in full bloom.There is an endangered giant orange bird squawking up a storm.Though in many ways it is not a pretty bird,
and the unconscionably loud shrieking could shatter granite, it still warms the
heart to hear its pained cry.
The fortunately rare Orange Loudmouth
It has a
brain that could sprawl comfortably on the head of a pin.It is reassuring to know it has a thorn in
its paw, or perhaps it is another in a procession of bone spurs, or maybe
someone is uncourteously grabbing it by the pussy.Either way, its pain is our pleasure.
Put Up or Lock-up
Though it is now abundantly clear that Chrump’s criminal
enterprise comprises his entire cabinet and other related sycophants, I think
Democrats should slow-walk this impeachment process.There is no hurry at this point.Keep it away from the Senate and fight for
the subpoenas in the courts.Allowing
Moscow Mitch to acquit the Criminal-in-chief during election season will be
weak tea compared to continuing to keep Chrump hoisted with his own petard by
keeping the impeach pie in the oven until it is either completely baked, or the
Senate changes hands.
Many people are saying there was quid pro quo.
If Hillary’s emails were enough to keep her public image
smeared, then surely Chrump’s continuing crime spree being publicly flogged
like her damn emails and her damn Benghazi nothing burger should weaken Chrump
in 2020.Then, in the event Chrump is
able to steal another election, the impeachment card can still be played.
If subpoenas are ignored, lock them up.It is critical to force all of Chrump's best
people (well, the third best at this point, since all the best ones have moved
on, as have many of their replacements - some without even going to jail), all
these great patriots, to tell the American people the truth.We need to see such shining louts like Bill
Barr, Mike Pompeo, Rudy Giuliani, Mick Mulvaney, John Bolton and the charming
and lovely Lev Parnas – everyone involved, up to and including Individual One –
appear on live television to testify, or at the very least give the impression
of guilt by invoking the Fifth Amendment.
In the words of Donald
Chrump,
“You see the mob takes the Fifth.If
you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”
“When you have your staff taking the Fifth Amendment, taking
the Fifth, so they’re not prosecuted, when you have the man that set up the illegal
server taking the Fifth, I think it’s disgraceful.”
Chrump can show up like Bill
Clinton did, but Chrump can pretend he is back on The Apprentice – he does not
even have to act presidential.He does
love being on television after all.And
he can tell all the Democratic senators, “You’re fired!”
Look Both Ways Before
Double-Crossing
Know what this is?
Not many people know what the underside of a bus looks
like.If you would like a first-hand
account, just ask Rudy Giuliani.This is
what Rudy will be seeing for the foreseeable future.
Mick
Mulvaney is catching flak for aiding and abetting
a criminal who hates democracy, but it’s fine
for him to wear a flag shirt apparently
Abbie Hoffman would have been 83 years old today.He was only 52 when he decided he had had
enough in 1989.
Hoffman, whatever else he may have been, or been seen as,
was a patriotic American.And a trouble
maker.He had his faults.They were not few and were not small, but Hoffman
never left the land of his birth, and always tried to make it a better place.He joined the Civil Rights Movement in the
early ‘60s, threw money onto the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, and threatened
to use psychic energy to levitate the Pentagon and cause it to “turn orange and
vibrate until all evil emissions had fled,” which would immediate end the war
in Vietnam.
Hoffman co-founded the Youth International Party – the Yippies,
who ran a pig – Pigasus, for president, and perhaps most famously was part of
the Chicago 7 (originally eight, until Bobby Seale demanded a separate trial).
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
Psychotic racist, anti-president Donald Chrump held another
of his signature Chrump Fux Klan rallies Tuesday in Sunrise, Florida.He began thusly, “As we gather together for
Thanksgiving, you know, some people want to change the name Thanksgiving. They don't want to use the term Thanksgiving.
And that was true also with Christmas. But now everybody's using Christmas
again. Remember this?” Chrump carried
on, “But now we're going to have to do a little work on Thanksgiving.People have different ideas. Why it shouldn't
be called Thanksgiving. But everybody in this room, I know, loves the name
Thanksgiving. And we're not changing.”
Unsurprisingly, Chrump’s idiocy was birthed in racism.This week’s target people of color are the Native
Americans who do not see Thanksgiving from the same perspective as their
lighter hued occupiers.It is possible
to imagine that someone as violently (not being judgmental, just accurate)
opposed to immigrants as Chrump might have at least a modicum of sympathy for
those whose lives were destroyed by illegal immigrants.Not to mention someone whose family (as well
as two thirds of his wives) immigrated to this country.You would be very, very uh-wrong. You are likewise
excused if you missed the war on Thanksgiving.Chrump just started it.And he
will win it.So much winning.I’m sick of it.
The orange-dipped, mentally defective and toxically
delusional meat bag in the red hat eventually veered even further off anything
even vaguely resembling rails.Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to be shocked at this point.Nonetheless, there might be some degree of
interest, if only for the tragicomic value, in his latest mouth fart.Chrump told his intellectually incapacitated
throng of adoring assholes, “…and then we beat Barack Hussein Obama and
whatever dynasty that is.”Not making
this up folks.
Chrump was not finished.In case his comment about beating the Obama dynasty was not proof enough
that Chrump was 51 cards short of a full deck, he wanted to assuage any vestige
of hope that there remained a shred of his very, very large (though never
overly functional) uh-brain as he bragged about one of the many Obama
accomplishments he regularly takes credit for, blurting, “You know we just set
another sock rocket… you saw that, right? The stock market!”Yes, like the schlock varmint said, the shock
rocket, I mean the sock puppet, I mean the stock market that Obama rebuilt
(without bothering to un-fuck the 99 percenters who elected him) after
Bush/Cheney crashed it, continues its upward trend despite Chrump’s best
efforts to fuck everything up.As usual,
his quivering hordes cheered wildly even though almost none of them own stocks
and the rising market only serves to widen the massive wealth gap in this
country.
“When someone shows
you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou
The only thing outstanding about Donald Chrump?Debt.Chrump
is a one-man shitstorm on so many levels.In this
case, he touches down like a spray-tan tornado wherever he pleases, causing great upheavaland expense.The disruption is generally temporary, while
the economic damage apparently lingers on indefinitely.This is nothing new for the life-long grifter.It seems the only way to get paid by Donald Chrump
is when he wants you to shut up about having sex with him. The picture below shows the amount of money Chrump
and his campaign currently owe to American cities for expenses related to his
rallies over the past few years.The money
owed to Washington, DC is from his American Carnage inauguration.We still do not know how the record amount of
money collected for the cheapest (and worst attended) ever inauguration was
spent; all we know is that it sure as hell was not spent on compensating the
District’s expenses.
At least he is consistent
In other
news of Chrump’s unwavering penchant for financial misdeeds, a New York judge
ordered him to pay $2 million as restitution for using his phony Chrump
Foundation “charity” as a slush fund for his political
interests. That is, when he was not using it to buy giant portraits
of himself. This comes well after another judge ordered the
foundation be dissolved.
Given all of this perfect behavior, when do we get to see
his perfect taxes?It looks like we will
have to wait for the Supreme Court, now with more fascists, to decide if the
American public has a right to see our anti-president’s tax returns as we have
been able to do with every president since Richard “Yeah, he was a fucking
crook” Nixon.As if Clarence Thomas,
Samuel Alito and John Roberts were not enough to make you violently ill, Chrump
and Moscow Mitch have pummeled our democracy with the likes of Neal Gorsuch and
credibly accused sexual assaulter Brett “I LIKE BEER, DO YOU LIKE BEER? I LIKE
BEER” Kavanaugh.These five (in)justices
are apparently what stands between democracy and yet another step down the road
to fascism in America.
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
The U.S. Senate: Brought to You By Russia, “Bought” From You By Russia
November 25, 2019
Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky did not want to do
it.At the moment Zelensky had finally resigned
himself to lying to the world in order to stay in the good graces of psychotic
conman Donald Chrump, Chrump Cheneyed himself
– once again, shooting himself in the face.As Zelensky prepared to sit down with Fareed Zakaria on CNN, or perhaps
Fucker Carlson on Fux News, Chrumpy the Clown released call notes (not anything
like a transcript) of his perfect, beautiful, totally innocent, completely hidden
July 25 phone call with Zelensky. The call notes clearly showed Chrump asking Zelensky to
announce he was investigating Joe and Hunter Biden.This, even though Zelensky was not, and
likely would not, since the Bidens’ alleged wrongdoing, along with the absurd
notion that Ukraine was setting up Russia to take the fall for election
interference, both hadbeen debunked as conspiracy theories. Chrump’s attempted extortion, bribery and/or quid
pro quo with Zelensky also happened after a Republican’t investigation found
and reported that Russia had in fact interfered with the 2016 election, to
Chrump’s advantage. “C’mon Zelensky
buddy, daddy needs a new pair of swing states.Naturally, the other reason Chrump wanted this to happen, besides his
need to cheat at another election, was to abet his benefactor, Vladimir Putin's take over of Ukraine.
Zelensky did not want to lie to the world for
Chrump despite his county's desperate situation.But, Chrump had another ass up
his sleeve – today’s Benedickless Arnold, Lindsey Graham.After being repeatedly humiliated by Chrump,
and repeatedly displaying his righteous indignation toward, and unparalleled
disdain for his one-time rival, Graham now has his head so far up Chrump’s ass
that he can often see who Chrump is shouting at by looking out of Chrump’s
gaping maw.
“I thought we weren’t
doing that until we got back to the White House.”
Chrump demanded…I mean suggested that Zelensky publicly
announce he was investigating Biden and the Democrats as precondition for an
invite to the White House.There were no
preconditions, other than assurance that there would be no American witnesses
present, for meeting with, telephoning, and one assumes late-night spooning
with Putin.Nothing was requested before
Chrump went crawling to Kim Jong Un, though to be fair, there were some beautiful
letters from Kim.Nevertheless, Lindsey “I’m
not going to read the transcripts” Graham is going to give Chrump the gift
Zelensky would not.Is Graham hoping
Chrump will make him King of Ukraine?Or
maybe buy him Greenland?Or let Lindsey
lick grits off his ass, or his whatever?Politics makes strange bedfellows.
Graham is being joined in his fool’s errand by Chuck “Oh shit,
he’s still alive?” Grassley (R-IA), and Ron “Ain’t no one dumber than me”
Johnson (R-WI).A larger group of
criminals…I mean Republican’t senators – all of whom will be acting as jurors
in the upcoming impeachment trial of Donald Chrump have already met with Chrump
(the defendant in the upcoming impeachment trial of Donald Chrump) and his
attorney to “map out a strategy.”For his
part, Chrump has, for some time now, been busy bribing, extorting and/or quid
pro quo-ing these potential jurors with campaign cash and as-yet-unknown other
strong-arm tactics.There is no
confirmation of the story that Mitt Romney recently woke up to find a dog strapped to
the roof of his car.
What happens when everyone in
the line-up did the crime?
Realizing that they have no defense because their feckless
leader is guilty as hell and will simply not stop implicating himself in the
crimes he has confessed to more times than he has publicly stated that if
Ivanka was not his daughter he would be dating her. Woe is we.
Chump, who insisted he was
not watching his impeachment proceedings, somehow knows exactly what is
happening, as it happens.Maybe he is
psych(ot)ic.Maybe he is lying, it has happened
a time or 13,000 since he has been in office.
Chrump is fortunate to have
the recently housebroken Devin Nunes and his pack of feral boors on the
committee.To avoid allowing the
impeachment hearings to become inundated with facts and reason, they used most
of their time to fling insane, repeatedly debunked by all quarters, conspiracy
theories that they hope will, a) keep the mentally deficient (and I do not say
this to be mean, only to be accurate) wing of the Republican’t base stupid and
hoodwinked and, b) attempt to obscure any meaningful, damning testimony showing
that Donald Chrump was bribing Ukrainian president Zelensky for dirt on Joe
Biden, or at least to pretend he was investigating same.
Hot on the heels of Gordon
Soldland’s John Dean-like appearance before the House Intelligence Committee,
Der Furor got into a shouting match with himself (some are saying they could
hear him in Ukraine) on the White House lawn.Chrump bellowed over and over, at unnecessary volume, reading from a wad
of unnecessary paper with a giant Sharpie for the hard of reading, “I WANT
NOTHING.I WANT NOTHING.I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO.”, etc.
Apparently, Chrump is having trouble lying without
notes, really big notes
This is what we have with Congress investigating just one
single, solitary violation of Chrump’s oath of office and the law of the
land.Can you imagine what it would take
to investigate all of Chrump’s transgressions?It would take the better part of a day just to list and explain them
all.We would still be investigating him
during Ivanka’s second term.
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
The wicket is getting stickier by the minute.We are now in week two of Donald Chrump’s
Super Slob-Stopping Impeachment Extravaganza.Things do not appear to be getting better for the Orange Gas Cloud we
are forced to call “president.”Witness after
witness has laid out clear, first-hand evidence of bribery and malfeasance – some
would say high crimes and misdemeanors – by their boss.Even the witnesses called by Chrump’s
water-carriers could not avoid implicating their dear leader. Of course, as we have come to know, the loudest and most
damning witness continues to be Donald Chrump himself.
Unsurprisingly, the best defense Republican’ts have is to
attack the character of career non-partisan patriots in favor of the most disgracefully
anti-American, pro-Russian, lying racist currently leading their party. That, and the hypocritical attacks on the
process their party devised, which is now being used against them by Democrats.And, an almost fanatical devotion to their
semi-duly-elected Tweeter-in-chief.
Today’s Republican’ts are the exception to the adage that
the fish rots from the head down. The Republican’t
party has been rotting from the bottom up for decades.How many Democrats are members of the
KKK?How many Democrats have sold their
souls to Russian interests like Moscow Mitch McConnell, Rudy Giuliani, Mike
Flynn, Paul Manafort, Dana Rohrabacher, Pete Sessions, Devin Nunes and Donald
Chrump?
Devin Nunes you say?But
he seems like such a wonderful man.Turns
out the mentally and ethically challenged Mr. Nunes was working with Giuliani’s
now-indicted-and-in-jail buddy Lev Parnas.Parnas reportedly helped arrange meetings for Nunes while Nunes was investigating
the oranges origins of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into
Russian election meddling.
Jimmy Kimmel’s Lie Witness News
Where’s Gordo?
Yesterday’s testimony from Gordon “I better find a way to
save my lying ass after perjuring myself” Sondland has the nation all
atwitter.Oddly, Donald Twitterhands did
not rage tweet at Sondland during his incredibly damaging testimony.Sondland threw just about everyone whose name
he could recall under the bus.The millionaire
real estate mogul bought one of the most important ambassadorships in the world
by giving $1M to Chrump’s inauguration and then just followed orders that he now
admits were improper.Now that Sondland
has had some time to mull over a prison sentence, and has seen no small number
of his fellow Chrumpers already behind bars, his memory has greatly improved. And he has some wonderous tales to tell.
I. Mangrey’s Madlife
Crisis
I only
regret that I have but one life with which to both live a theoretically normal
life while also trying to keep up with the shit-circus that is the Chrump
anti-presidency.Keeping my middle
finger on the pulse of our current impeachment holiday season alone, requires a
minimum of 48 hours a day to watch, process and recover from. I, we will likely
(not definitely) recover.Hopefully, the
object of all the mishegas – Donald Chrump – will not.Hopefully, the preponderance of witnesses and
evidence of his horrifying wrongdoings will bring him to a fitting end – a
figurative Bonnie and Clyde last stand, where he goes down in a hail of
justice, or if need be a hail of ballots, instead of him bringing all of us
down in a hail of bullshit.
