The Days of Our Lies

The Art of The Dipshit

December 13, 2018

 

From The Toilet/Desk of
Donald J. Trump

Did he mean “schmucking gun?”

 

Chrump took a break from freaking out over Mueller closing in on his life of crime before, during and after his 2016 Electoral College victory.  For some reason, he thought it would be a good idea to meet with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer to talk about keeping the government open for business.  Business (along with an almost infinite list of other topics), of course, is something about which Donald Chrump knows next to nothing. 

Supposedly, no one wants a government shutdown.  Well, no one but the idiot-sans-savant Donald Chrump.  Pelosi and Schumer made it very clear that the Democrats want no part of a shutdown.  Chrump, on the other hand, would rather destroy the entire country in order to build the wall, build the wall, build the wall. 

Pouty McFuckface, Chuck and Nancy, and a cardboard cutout of Mike Pence

 

If you only heard the audio, you would be excused for not knowing that human marshmallow and ersatz Vice Prezident Mike Pence was also in the room.  Pence appeared to have been shot by Don, Jr. with a tranquilizer dart.  Pence appeared less animated than the portraits of presidents (all of whom were surely glad to be dead) on the wall.  The catatonic veep sat motionless, expressionless, and mute, while Pelosi and even Schumer repeatedly bitch-slapped the hapless half-prezident in front of a roomful of reporters that Chrump himself insisted stick around to witness his tantrum.  Perhaps Pence was ruminating about how he is up to his albino-like eyeballs in Chrump’s felonious falderal.  Maybe he was regretting all his lies, his continuing conspiracy and his tremendously treasonesque efforts to enable, or at the very least allow, the Russians to work on Chrump’s behalf to help him get elected.  A President Nancy Pelosi might not be nearly as farfetched as one might think.

The Commander-in-chintz was obsessed with, and insisted that nothing else is more important than, his precious border wall.  During the meeting, Chrump fumed some 50 times that “the wall is part of border security”.  Chrump’s mythical wall is part of border security in the same way Frosted Flakes are part of a nutritious breakfast.  One has to wonder what the hell Chrump is smocking.

He Who Lives By the Pecker, Dies By the Pecker

Chrump, who has throughout is entire life, gotten into trouble because of his pecker is now at the mercy of another pecker.  This time it is the National Enquirer’s Pecker – David Pecker, publisher of National Enquirer, that is – who is putting a hurt on The Donald.  Pecker, has corroborated the tape recording that featured Michael Cohen and Chrump discussing how Pecker would "catch-and-kill" damaging stories about Chrump's affairs to protect his candidacy. 



I. Mangrey rejoicing.