Predictions, Prophecies,
Prognostications, Projections and Piffle
The End (of The Year) is (Mercifully) Near Here
December 31, 2020
Where Will We Have Gone From Here
Well, here it is. The final installment of what to expect in 2021. Well, theoretically we will soon be rid of Donald Chrump, albeit 48 months too late. Chances are good, if you are reading this, that you are not dead. Hopefully well-stocked with toilet paper, and still COVID-19-free. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, there is still no way to know for sure. Until at least January 6, 2021 – and very possibly until the 21st – Chrump will keep us guessing, gnashing our teeth, fighting to keep food down, losing sleep and praying that the Constitution will ultimately prevail despite the unrelenting and seditious efforts of its arch enemy – the Republican’t Party, which is now a wholly-owned subsidiary of Donald Chrump. Hopefully, it will attain the fate of so many of Chrump’s business ventures.
Ed Venture
Unmanageable Editor
January 21, 2021
Bleaching A Conclusion
Thousands of Chrump loyalists, despondent over the fact that
their man-baby was tossed out after a single term/tantrum, unable to complete
his mission to destroy democracy and America, and to bring racism and discord
back to pre-Civil War levels, decide it’s time to show everyone how great
Chrump really was, hoping the Radical Left will finally realize what a stupid
mistake they made. They drink disinfectant en masse to keep themselves safe
from the tyranny of masks and the coronavirus. Most of them die quick, albeit
horrible deaths. The survivors claim victory over the virus and Joe Biden.
January 25, 2021
The Whiter House
Finally-ex-president Donald Chrump promises to “build a
bigger, better, much more beautiful and powerful Whiter House at Mor-on Lago in
Florida. I will still be president of most white people. Especially the poorly
educated – I love the poorly educated. And the great Betsy Devos made sure
there will be millions more of these uneducated people who are smart enough to
love Chrump. I won’t have to pretend I never heard of the Proud Boys or David
Duke or worry about being impeached or hoaxed by the radical left liberal
Antifa lovers. No one can tell me to wear a mask, or not to drink bleach or
shine light up my ass, which I was totally joking about before – and everyone
knows that, but I’m seriously doing now. Just look how healthy I am. No one has
a healthier glow than Chrump. I have the best hair and I’m still the
best-looking guy in America, and probably the world, I would say. Sleepy Joe
Biden lost this election by a lot and I will not stop until I prove it, whether
it be in court or possibly by some sort of Second Amendment thing. We’ll just
have to wait and see.”
Promise Made, Promise Kept
Donald Chrump, desperate for attention since his Twitter following dropped by 90 percent and he can’t even buy time on television, takes a trip to New York City in order to force people to remember he exists. He told radio host Mike Pence, “I was cheated out of a second term and someone is going to pay. I still have some unfinished business. The first thing I’m going to do is walk down Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, maybe a bunch of people. When you’re white they let you do it. Many people still think I’m still president. My new Whiter House is going to be built very soon. I am also planning to build my own wall to stop Mexico from sending us all their criminals and rapists, who are voting against Chrump, even the dead ones. I alone can fix it. These horrible Mexican criminals and rapists are stealing jobs from real American criminals and rapists. Many of these great Americans are good friends of mine and got very strong and powerful pardons from Chrump while he was the greatest president in history.”
“Even those rats on the Supreme Court better look out if they don’t reconsider their very terrible decision to allow the totally illegal Sleepy Joe Biden and that dangerous radical liberal black lady he calls a Vice President to pretend to be president. That is still my job. I pretended to be president for four of the greatest years in America and I will continue to do the job I was greatly elected to do – with the biggest inauguration crowd in the history of the world.”
Atlantic City, Tear Down That Eyesore
Atlantic City auctioned off the opportunity to be the one
who pushes the button to demolish the now-closed Chrump Plaza Hotel &
Casino. The proceeds going to Atlantic City’s Boys & Girls Club. Who will
it be? Mike Bloomberg? Nancy Pelosi? George Soros? Barack Obama? Hillary
Clinton Mary Trump? Melania? This, we will not divulge, preferring to let you
be surprised and pleased when you discover the winning bidder. However, we will
let you in on another interesting tidbit for this day.
strong, powerful and colossal failure by hand. Others have
decided to simply take matters into their own hands.
Chrump accidentally wanders into Chrump Plaza in Atlantic City
moments before it is demolished. normally, such a building is cordoned off well
ahead of the demolition, but no one seemed to bother telling Donald not to go
it at that time. Perhaps they assumed he would leave in time, perhaps everyone
assumed he had left in time, perhaps no one cared.
July 21, 2021
Make America Suffer Again
Chrump
reveals his new “Re-president Me” campaign slogan and new hat. “Make America
Mine Again. I did such a great job and I got the second biggest amount of votes
ever. We have to get me back in the White House – the old one, not the one I’m
building so greatly in Florida, or maybe Russia, I haven’t decided yet. And I
will be totally self-funding with your money. So keep sending me money so we
can have an even greater America than anyone ever thought possible. I alone can
do it.” Chrump then led the credulous crowd in a new chant, “MAMA! MAMA! I want my MAMA!”
September 24, 2021
No Balls Putz Prize
For finally admitting he lost the 2020 election to Joe
Biden, Chrump becomes the first winner of a new prestigious prize. The
psychotic, orange narcissist has repeatedly either begged or insisted that he
be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Chrump has even claimed on occasion that he
won several of them. Instead, Chrump is awarded the No Balls Putz Prize for
outstanding cowardice, insanity and hatred. It is surely a distinct honor and
well-deserved.
December 31, 2021
It is predicted that there will be no more predictions dealing with Donald Chrump. He will be either dead or irrelevant, or both. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Well, that’s it for Paying Attention in 2020 (unless Chrump outdoes himself in the next 24 hours), and all we know about what to expect in 2021 – or at least some of it. For now, sit back and pour yourself a beverage; a nice hot cup of tea, a martini, maybe something from the hemp family. However you roll, make sure you have your Rent-a-Coma on hand, just in case. It’s still flying off the shelves. And, you never know when it might come in handy. For now, let's party like we're all in quarantine.
From Ed Venture, I. Mangrey, T. Doff, Shay King, and everyone here
at Paying Attention:
John Oliver says good-bye to 2020
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