Broken News

A Momentary Lapse Of Treason

June 1, 2022

There are a number of numbing issues currently overcoming our personal bandwidth - the latest mass shootings in Buffalo, NY and Uvalde, TX, et al, sky-rocketing gas prices, runaway inflation, and of course the ongoing slaughter and devastation in Ukraine. Unfortunately there are still the other more mundane cataclysms lurking in the background. The looming Ratpublican midterm infestation (the emergence of Dr. Oz in PA, ex-football star and current mental-defective Hershel Walker in GA, the dreaded return of Marge "Peach Tree Dish/Gazpacho Police/Marshall Law" Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert and countless, brainless others), and the horrifying prospect of Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy - presumably a descendant of Charlie McCarthy.

Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy/Donald Tmurp and Kevin McCarthy

One week after Tmurp’s invasion of the Capitol and attempted assassinations of Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi on January 6, 2021, hypocritical mental defective and wannabe Speaker of the House Kevin McQarthy – during a momentary lapse of treason – told the American public from the House floor that, “The president bears responsibility for Wednesday’s attack on Congress by mob rioters.”

Kevin McQarthy auditioning for Speaker

Just days after his first and only brush with reality, McQarthy’s tiny, damaged brain reverted to its default setting, sending him careening to Mor-on-Lago to kiss Tmurp’s ring, ass and whatever. And McQarthy did not even rinse before using that same mouth to proclaim his undying love for Drear Leader.

In a historic move, McQarthy is now facing a subpoena from the House Select Committee on January 6 after audiotape came to light featuring McQarthy suggesting that Tmrup should resign on the heels of having incited our nation’s first Presidential Insurrection, in a desperate attempt to hold on to power after getting crushed for the second time in the popular vote. The audiotape contradicted McQarthy’s previous vehement denial of ever having suggested anything of the sort.

Four other Ratpublican congressmen – including Alabama’s own Mo Brooks who spoke at Tmurp’s pre-invasion pep rally wearing a flak jacket, telling those assembled that “Today is the day American patriots start taking down names and kicking ass,” and then cheering on the attempted coup from inside the Capitol – were subpoenaed along with their feckless leader in connection with their aiding, abetting and perhaps helping to plan the horrific insurrection aimed at ending democracy in America.

Fortunately for McQarthy and his fellow unravellers, lying, groveling and treason are not only not disqualifying, but are in fact prerequisites for leadership positions in Tmurp’s Ratpublican Party.

 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled democracy.