Miscarriage Abortion
Of Justice
June 25, 2022
The Extreme Court has finally checked off the
biggest box, band-aided over the ooziest wound that has plagued the Radical
Christian Right and their Ratpublican lackeys for decades. A significant majority
of Americans – of all Americans – support a woman’s right to choose whether or
not to carry a pregnancy to term, especially in cases of rape and incest. The Turmp Court’s uber-conservatives have managed to
fuck women in a way that will never get them pregnant, and will certainly not
allow them to get an abortion if they did.
Five men and one fringe-cult-Christian woman have done what they were appointed to do – end American women’s right to control what happens with their own bodies – by ending a fifty-year long constitutional right to have an abortion. All three of the nominees put forward by Turmp/McConnell (Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Clowney Barrett) lied right to our faces during their confirmation hearings, assuring the Senators questioning them that Roe v. Wade was beyond any thought, concept or judicial consideration was settled law. The end of Roe v. Wade. One day after overturning a century of law allowing states to control what their citizens may do with concealed deadly weapons.
Nice 14th Amendment You Got There, Be A Shame If Something Happened To It
While (In)justice Alito lied that overturning Roe would have no other far-reaching effects on other issues like contraception, his colleague Clarence “Uncle” Thomas explicitly called for the need to "reconsider" marriage equality and the right of couples to use contraception. Ho. Lee. Shit. But it’s okay for his wife to be up to her neck in helping to plot the overthrow of the government Thomas claims to serve.
Unfortunately and
ironically, Sen. Joe Biden was instrumental in enabling Clarence Thomas’s lifetime
(dis)appointment to the Court. I guess the “high-tech lynching” Thomas whined about being subjected
to over his sexual harassment of Anita Hill, during his confirmation hearing,
permanently cut off the analog oxygen to his brain.
This whole abortion issue is a hoax. No baby
has ever not been born. Why are people wasting so much time fighting against
something that doesn’t exist?
No one has ever gotten an abortion. All these
women and their doctors are crisis actors. This is a hoax perpetrated by either
China, Hugo Chavez, Alex Jones or possibly Martians. That’s right, Martians.
Crazy, you say? Go ahead and mock. Mock my words. You can’t prove anything.
There is no such thing as an embryo. I’ve
never seen a fetus. Not even on the subway.
Everyone knows that babies are brought by a
stork. Not the stork, as has been taught since the beginning of time. There’s
no way one lone stork could deliver every single baby. That’s like believing
there’s only one Tooth Fairy. There is an entire army of baby-bringing storks.
And where do all these storks get all these babies? No one knows. No one can
know. It just is. And no one knows exactly how many babies were never delivered,
but were instead mis-carried or eaten by rogue storks.
You know what else is a hoax? The Supreme
Fucking Court. And Susan Collins's brain.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
incredulity.
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