Pompous Circumstances

Willard Romney, Inc. 

Land of The Latter Day Saints...and Sinners

October 14, 2012 

Corporations are people my friends.  Or so I have heard.  And one of those people is Willard Romney.  Willard "Bain" Romney still has oodles (a reported $8M) of stock in Bain Capital, stock that continues to pour money into his already very deep pockets and will continue to do so even if he is elected...well you know.  In the grand tradition of Dick "Halliburton" Cheney, Romney wants to bring his CEO sensibility to Pennsylvania Avenue.  If there is a God I hope he has not been surreptitiously baptized as a Mormon.

Sensata Technology, a company under the loving control thumb of Bain Capital, has just been legitimately raped, its jobs killed and en route to China.  Bain of course was a ballbreaker groundbreaker in the great outsourcing movement back when Willard and his merry money magnates realized it was much easier to "harvest" already existing companies than to do an honest day's work.  Sensata's workers were forced to train Chinese workers to do their jobs, for which these replacements will be paid less than a dollar an hour and work under shockingly inhuman conditions.  The American flag outside the plant where some have worked for over forty years was taken down while the Chinese were stealing American jobs and replaced only after they left, training and jobs in hand.  WTF.

Sensata's non-union workers have been protesting to keep their jobs right here in America.  They have also been getting arrested for civil disobedience actions in their efforts to stop trucks from removing all the equipment they have been using for years.  Sensata was a highly profitable company right up until their company was snatched right out of their hands.  The 179 Sensata workers who are losing their jobs to China have asked Romney to use his considerable influence at Bain to save their jobs.  Willard has refused to meet with the workers, presumably because he cares so much for 100% of Americans.  It couldn't be clearer that Romney wants to sell this country right out from under us to the Chinese while hiding all his profits offshore to make his piracy complete.  I wonder if they misspelled Bane on purpose.

Willard Romney is a corporation my friends.  He is a heartless capitalist.  It matters little that he, as Paul Ryan emoted during his spanking by Joe Biden in the recent debate, offered to help a desperate family belonging to his church in Massachusetts.  Even Attila The Hun had friends that he graciously never killed.  In fact Romney's "charitable" largesse is mostly felt by the Mormon Church, so it's not so much charity as doctrinal duty.  And he magnanimously decided not to report all of tax-deductible contributions so that he could continue to claim he never paid less than 13% in federal taxes.  As you know, Mr. Romney makes more every year just sitting on his magic underwear than the combined lifetime earnings of everyone reading this.  Did you know that the Mormon Church doesn't tell its members how it spends their money?  Did you know that the Mormon Church won't disclose its finances to the government of the United States?  Guess that's where Willard learned his fiscal manners.

As for Paul "I-wouldn't-know-the-truth-if-it-bit-me-in-the-ass" Ryan, he showed us just what he's made of as he babbled well-rehearsed talking points all night.  The one thing that came right from his heart was his rabid anti-choice position.  The Supreme Court according to Rand Ryan has no authority since they are merely unelected officials.  I wonder if he felt that way when they handed George W. Bush his illegitimate "presidency" in 2000.  With any luck he will live out the rest of his days in shamed obscurity alongside the sparkling lightweights Dan Quayle, Admiral Stockwell, Joe Lieberman and Sarah Palin, who is now trying to cash in on her dwindling celebrity with a book on throwing-fits fitness.  I hope Ryan's chance to do the same will come sooner than later.  He certainly is physically fit.  And after all, what more could you want from a vice president.

It's no wonder Joe Biden couldn't stop laughing during his debate with Goober.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.

 

A Tale Of Two Parties

No Left Turns Allowed 

Battleground, USA

October 13, 2012 

Maybe it’s just me, but I could have sworn I saw Jeb Bush stand in front of his fellow Republican’ts in Tampa saying that his brother, George W. Bush “kept us safe” while he was president.  As I said, maybe it’s me, but my memory is that George W. Bush was, by whatever means, president of the United States beginning on January 20, 2001.  My memory further informs me, now correct me if I’m wrong, that after this dipshit was appointed president by the illegal incursion of the Supreme Court into Florida’s counting of the votes, he took a long vacation. 

To be fair, before his month-long vacation after being on the job-he-wanted-to-get-but-not-to-do for barely six months, he worked diligently and swiftly to evaporate the huge budget surplus bequeathed him by one William Jefferson Clinton.  He achieved this objective by giving most of our money to the wealthiest one percent.  Meanwhile his vice-president/overlord was plotting the last throes of the environment and the invasion of Iraq, but that’s a different story. 

Then Bush went to his “ranch” in Crawford, TX to clear some brush, play video games and drool on himself - he would not lose consciousness after being beaten to a pulp by a Ninja pretzel for another six months - while ignoring mountains of credible intelligence from across the globe and from the CIA, including the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing entitled “Bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S.”  And now we have learned that there were many more attempts by the CIA warning of an imminent assault, all ignored by BushCo for some unexplainable reason.  It’s almost as though their primary foreign policy concern, from the moment they took the White House, was invading Iraq and making billions for Halliburton to fund Cheney’s retirement.

Bush Beaten By Pretzel, Even Supreme Court Declines To Prosecute

 

Brother Jeb gets to say George “kept us safe” on national television and the liberal mainstream media is too busy watching Clint Eastwood talk to an empty chair to notice.  The only thing Jeb and the Republican’ts mentioned less than George W. Bush was the war in Afghanistan, a war begun under Jeb’s brother’s watch, a war they were unable to mention one singe time during their entire con-vention.  Not one single word about the longest war in American history.  Let’s not forget that after abandoning Afghanistan and illegally invading Iraq, the Republican’ts’ feckless leader put a ban on allowing returning coffins to be photographed; Obama oversaw the rescinding of that ban.  Not only were the  Bushies intent on hiding the war from the accountants, but from the American public as well.  Can you imagine the shriek and caw we would have heard if the parties in this story had been reversed?

Skip ahead to May 1, 2011 - eight years after Bush's MISSION ACCOMPLISHED moment.  Barack Obama is commander-in-chief.  He makes a tough decision – no I’m not talking about extending Bush’s disastrous tax-cuts-for-the-rich.  Obama sends Navy Seal Team 6 into Pakistan (whence Bush fled and Romney swore not to go), to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden.  The man who planned and took pride in the attack on September 11, 2001, the attack that happened on George W. Bush’s watch, while he was keeping us safe…from unruly shrubbery.  The man who George W. Bush, six months after allowing the worst attack on American soil - on his watch, declared he was not concerned about.

The same Republican’ts who oversaw overlooked the 9/11 attacks could not find it in themselves to give credit where credit is due.  Since the whole 9/11 thing was little more than a prop for the party of Lincoln-turning-over-in-his-grave, they were hoping all the glory derived from it would be theirs.  They were too gutless to admit they were in charge when the shit hit the fan and too worthless to acknowledge that someone finally made good on the job they failed to do - killing America’s most wanted villain.  Ten years after Bush became unconcerned about him.  Yet they insisted Bush, not Obama, deserved the credit for killing bin Laden.  AYFKM.

Apparently the Republican’ts have completely forgotten that they started a war that they quickly walked away from to go after Saddam Hussein’s oil wells in Iraq.  They walked away, but left a bunch of our people there in Afghanistan, wandering around with no clear mission, just hoping not to get killed for no clear reason - like all those who died that way in Iraq between 2003, when Bush illegally sent troops there, until 2011 when Obama finally put a stop to it.  Whatever happened to the wailing and gnashing of teeth over anyone dissing a president during time of war?  I guess if you pretend we’re not at war it’s acceptable?  What about the danger of changing the commander-in-chief while our nation is at war?  I guess that too is fair game if that commander is a Democrat and you’re trying as hard as you can to ignore the fact that our people are in harm’s way.  That we are still engaged in a war that George W. Bush began/ignored.  What is it with these assholes?

In case any Republican’ts get happen to see this I’ll make it simple:

George W. Bush                                                         Barack Obama

Allowed worst attack on American soil           Allowed zero massive attacks on American soil

Started illegal war in Iraq                                            Ended illegal war in Iraq

Quickly lost interest in eliminating bin Laden                          Eliminated bin Laden 

Yes, George W. Bush is gone, but his misery memory lives on.  His economy, his Crusade to force democracy across the Middle East, his destruction of education.  And his party lies on.  And Willard Romney has hired many of George's "advisors" to build his policies-du-jour.  Who knows what Romney might actually do as president?  One thing for sure, he will continue the loud sucking sounds George Bush made.  In magic underwear.

My brain hurts. 

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.

Gimme That Old Time Revision

Obama: I disagree with you Governor Romney.

Romney: Romney? Who you calling Romney? Who ever said my name was Romney? What you talkin' 'bout Willis?

Electionville, 2012

October 4, 2012

Willard "Etch-a-Sketch" Romney came out loaded for bear in his first 2012 debate with an actual human.  He was sharp, his hair was perfect, he was pumped.  He was downright uppity.  He was clearly lying in wait; then he was just clearly lying. 

The man whose face you see in the Guinness Book of World Records for Campaign Liars quickly let loose with one of his well-rehearsed zingers, accusing Obama of being dishonest saying, "Look, I have five boys, I'm used to people saying something that isn't always true and keep on saying it hoping ultimately I will believe it.”  Talk about the pot calling the kettle boy. 

This is the same guy who tried to lie about his skin color when he spoke to an all Hispanic audience a few weeks ago.  He may have overdone it a bit, ending up almost as dark as Obama, although clearly much more orange.

Luckily he had enough time to whiten back up before the big debate where contrast would be crucial having given up any hope of getting any non-white votes:

It was easy for Obama to appear to be short on facts since Romney’s details and positions change more often than the price of a gallon of gas.  Whenever Obama thought he had Romney pinned down on some well-established policy position, Romney simply changed everything you thought you knew about his position.  Willard is the guy who in February 2012 said, “I’m not familiar precisely with exactly what I said but, I stand by what I said whatever it was.”  The difference now is that he will never again stand by anything he ever said or might say at any time in the future.

The only thing we know for sure about Willard Romney is that he won’t be showing us any more tax returns because that might be construed as, you know, honest or something.  Willard had to provide the McCain campaign ten years of returns after Romney failed miserably in his first presidential bid in the 2008 primary and then lost his vice-presidential bid to half-term, half-wit Sarah Palin.  Romney also demanded ten years of tax returns from Boy Wonderbread Paul Ryan before ruining Ryan’s career (thanks for that at least) by selecting him as his running mate, thereby exposing Ryan, his lies and his magical math to the entire country.  Romney’s father disclosed twelve years of tax returns during his bid for the presidency in 1967.

After watching the ease with which Romney creates a new reality at the drop of a hat, I hope we can all work together to avoid a Romney presidency and let lying dogs sleep.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and whiter whites) invited.

 

Waiting With Debated Breath

Obama vs. Romney, Round One

Denver, Colorado

October 2, 2012

Many thoughts and feelings fill our minds and hearts as America prepares itself for the first Big “Debate” of the 2012 election cyclone.  Questions, questions, questions, flooding the minds of today’s nauseated concerned voters.  Who will win?  Who will lose?  Will I be able to stay awake?  Will I be able to keep my dinner down?  Who will suffer the most zings and arrows of outrageous rehearsals?  Brother can you spare a dime?

The two candidates and their merry men have spent the last two weeks lowering expectations, trying desperately to impress us with their own candidate’s stunning inability to perform under the big lights of a nationally televised (exchange-which-in-no-way-should-be-considered-a) debate.  In preparation for the battle to see who can better fit their usual talking points into a question/answer/rebuttal format, both candidates have been practicing hard, losing valuable fundraising and glad-handing time.

Team Romney has been coaching their “guy” to try to seem human, perhaps even empathetic.  They are working feverishly to plan out as many spontaneous moments as possible for the man who's social skills are somewhere in the Caymans.  One source who refused to be named told me, “We had to tell him over and over not to attempt to do any singing.  I can’t tell you how many times we had the conversation - ‘No sir, we’re talking about zingers sir. No we don’t want you to name singers sir, not really sure why you think that would win you the debate sir.  No we don’t want you to be a singer sir, just try to say the words we planned sir.  No sir no melody needed sir.  Yes I think we’re clear on this now. Sir we really need you to watch some TV to see how regular people without Swiss bank accounts really live. No sir, not everyone actually has a Swiss bank account. No, most people pay a little more than 14% in federal taxes sir, so no you probably shouldn’t be bragging about that too much sir.’  Yeah, there was a lot of that kind of thing going on during prep month.  I’d say we’re pretty screwed, but hey it pays well.”

Team Obama meanwhile has its work cut out making sure the President doesn’t get too ticked off and call in a drone strike.  They’ve also spent time trying to teach their charge how to look relaxed but not high.  And they’ve also told him not to break into song, but for a completely different reason than the opposition.  Apparently team Obama has decided against trying to lighten up the President for the occasion, figuring people are already all too familiar with the fact that he’s not as white as they’d like him to be.

Personally, I’m waiting to see what color Williard Romney will be.  Normally he’s as white as Wonder Bread.  But when he spoke before an audience of Hispanics last month, desperately trying to win at least their votes, he had dyed himself to such a degree that he made John Boehner look like Michael Jackson.

The big problem for Romney of course is that he will be speaking.  You can expect the following zingers from Mr. Romney:

            -Are you talking to me?

            -Oh yeah, if I had $10,000 for every time I heard that...

            -Yeah, I guess that's how they do things at your elitist Harvard...where I also
             went to  school...oh, never mind.

            -Well let me just say that you were for that before I was against it.
            -So you live in the White House...you didn't build that.
            -How can you accuse me of hating on the 47% of Americans that don't pay
             income tax when I'm one of them...zing!!

All in all your best bet is probably watching the whole thing with the sound off and your eyes closed, but I can't because I. Mangrey...

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and more Romney zingers) invited.

 

That’s Mighty Bigot Of You

Important News for Mor(m)ons Everywhere

Electionville, USA

September 29, 2012
 

                 “We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country.

                  We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

                                                                 Rick Santorum, September 15, 2012

 

I find it necessary to step out of character for a moment to say something nice about one of the more visible Republican’ts this election season - disgraced ex-Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, who remains the only Speaker of the House ever to be reprimanded for ethics violations (in a very bipartisan vote of 395 in favor, 28 opposed).  Gingrich is a pitiful excuse for a terrestrial life form; he is sucking up precious oxygen (and numerous other things by the look of it) while single-handedly expelling more CO₂ than a fleet of Hummers for no discernible purpose.  He is a philanderer and a bigot, arrogant beyond imagination.  Other than that he’s never killed anyone…as far as we know.  Yes, I know I was supposed to say something nice about Newt…all apologies.  I tried, but that’s as nice as it gets for Mr. Contract-On-America.

This vacuous gasbag, who in the past has referred to Obama as “uppity,” was recently on Fux News projecting proclaiming that Obama is “not a real president. He doesn’t do anything that presidents do, he doesn’t worry about any of the things the presidents do, but he has the White House, he has enormous power, and he’ll go down in history as the president, and I suspect that he’s pretty contemptuous of the rest of us...You have to wonder what he’s doing. I’m assuming that there’s some rhythm to Barack Obama that the rest of us don’t understand.” (actual quote)

First of all, that is about as accurate a description of one Newt Gingrich as you could ever hope to hear.  Second, I’m sure Newt never said such a thing about his buddy George W. Bush who, being appointed by the Supreme Court rather than elected by the voters, actually was NOT a real president.  George W. Bush took more time off (including an entire month leading up to his allowing of the 9/11 attacks) than any president in history and while he was “on the job” probably worked shorter days than any other.  Of course, given the way he presidented, that was clearly for the best.  Imagine where this country would have been had King George IV worked more than four hours a day.  Newt told Fux News addicts that Obama doesn’t think about the things real presidents think about because of his supreme arrogance.  What Newt was implying of course was that all lazy Mr. Obama thinks about is shuckin’ and jivin’, socialism and stickin’ it to Whitey.  And of course he’s got a rhythm that real folks just don’t understand.  Thanks for keepin’ it real, newt.

To all Willard Romney supporters:

I have some bad news for you.  I hate to even bring this up but I feel that loyalty to the truth outweighs any opinion I might have.  I know most of you Romney supporters do not love Mr. Romney.  I know that you are merely desperate to defeat his opponent by any means necessary…even if it means voting for Willard Romney.  And I know the most important reason you are willing to waste cast your vote for this brilliant tax avoider, investment scavenger and Chinese job creator.  There is just no way you can tolerate a black man cleaning up your party’s last “president.”  But this is no time to slack off on your obvious bigotry.

I know it’s hard to acknowledge publicly so I won’t expect you to, but we all know what’s going on here.  So it is in this context that I magnanimously share this shocking intel with you.  Willard’s biggest backer, at least the biggest one willing to openly admit his financial interest in putting Romney in the White House, is Sheldon Adelson.  Adelson, hmmmm, now what kind of name is that?  That would be the same Sheldon Adelson who previously offered up ungodly sums of money to ensure that Newt Gingrich would defeat Willard in the Republican’t primary.  There was just one fatal flaw in that plan and that fatal flaw was Newt Gingrich, the disgusting, arrogant troll who should have been laughed out of mainstream national politics decades ago. Unfortunately, Newt found that campaigning for president was a big money maker so, on he went, despite the fact that he is widely despised, disrespected and derided.  

So Newt was out and now Willard is in.  But that’s not my point.  My point is that while you have made peace with the fact that Romney himself is abhorrent to you, not just because he is generally abhorrent but in particular because he is a Mor(m)on, and you are willing to live with this otherwise-unacceptable-to-you fact.  What makes matters worse is that his doggedly determined king-maker Sheldon Adelson is, now brace yourselves... Sheldon Adelson is a Jew.  Just like…George Soros.  And all those other Jews Nixon hated so much.  I’m sorry to have to make you hear this so close to the election, but the truth is your choice is down to that damned ni…nice black guy Obama and the apparent Jew-lover Romney.

The choice you must make on election day 2012 has never been tougher.  I hope you have plenty of VOTEGRA.           

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and bigots staying home on Nov 6^th) invited.

Electile Dysfunction Is Going Viral

Are you having trouble sustaining an election?

Important information about an powerful drug for a serious condition afflicting hundreds of millions of people the world over.

You may already be one of the many who need the most remarkable wonder-drug  of all time - VOTEGRA.  Not just for men.  Not just for women.  Millions of people all over the world are suffering horribly and don't even know it.  Millions more simply pretend that everything is just fine.  Others are, as we speak, having their right to vote jeopardized by Republican't corporate backers and government operatives desperate to keep non-Republican't voters from exercising the most basic American right.  One human, one vote.

You may actually believe you're healthy and happy and ready to vote in every way.  Or you may simply be in denial.  Don't let another election go by leaving you feeling angry, depressed, hopeless, powerless, useless, out of step, unamerican or just plain stoopid.  The FDA has waived all safety regulations and precautions - and that's almost a stretch for them.  This drug is too important to ignore any longer although, given the current anti-vote environment, VOTEGRA may only be available in Canada and Mexico between now and November 6, 2012.

 Are you suffering from Electile Dysfunction?

Can't get into the booth like you used to?  Are you voting blanks?  Do you wish you could do it more often and make it mean something?  Is your chad just hanging there limp and listless?  Is your votecount shockingly lower than you ever would have expected?  Do you get the feeling your vote is about to be suppressed?  Is your once worthless candidate now just a worthless has-been?  Would you like to be able to throw a football through a tire?

VOTEGRA won't just help you keep an election for as long as you want.  It may even help you prop up a government of your choosing for years on end.  You'll be fighting off those corporate whores with a stick if you know what I mean.  And why shouldn't you be - you put the pedal to the metal and made your vote count like you haven't been able to do for years. Who's your daddy now? With VOTEGRA your election will be valid every time.   No more just worriedly wishing you had an election - VOTEGRA can make you feel like you could get that lever up and down any time you want to.  Don't wait any longer - ask your doctor or senator if VOTEGRA is for you.

 

Electile Dysfunction is no joke; we're voting for president for Pete's sake.  You may have Electile Dysfunction and not even know it.  Do something about it before it's too late and you end up with a wienie who strapped his dog to the roof of his car, keeps millions of dollars hidden from the tax collector, led the charge to outsource our jobs to China and who thinks YOU are a lazy moocher sponging off the same government off of which he feels absolutely entitled to sponge, in the White House.  Oops, you waited too long, but at least thanks to term limits George W. Bush has been replaced.  But nothing not quite as bad lasts forever.  Please don't let Electile Dysfunction wreck our lives again.

Possible side effects of not using VOTEGRA include runny candidates, listless legislators, long lines, spoiled votes, butterfly ballots, purged voter rolls, Diebold, depression, another Depression, Citizens United II (corporations are people and people are not), mor(m)ons, PATRIOT Act IV, armed repression, cranio-rectal syndrome, un-Occupied Wall Street, Willard Romney/Paul Ryan, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, short-circuited recounts, Ayn Rand, another Antonin Scalia, another Clarence Thomas, another Supreme Court-appointed president, Armageddon.

If your election lasts longer than four years contact your arms dealer immediately.

 

VOTEGRA

Fixing Elections since 2005

brought to you by the 99% non-corporation

 

Running (His Mouth) For President

The Political Genius That Is Willard Romney

                               or
Is That Your Real Hair, Or Do You Have A Dog Strapped To Your Head?

Under Willard’s Hair

September 19, 2012

Willard Romney’s latest daily disaster (or disaster du jour as the French-speaking ex-missionary who baptized dead Jews and others would say) comprised video of Willard calling 47% of Americans who pay no income taxes ”victims who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe they are ENTITLED, to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it,” adding, “And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.” ”  For some reason it didn’t help that he specified he was not referring to real Americans, just Obama supporters.  These ne’er-do-anythings include a laundry list of handout seekers like military veterans, retirees, special needs children, the working poor, recent graduates paying off student loans and those currently serving in the war that Republican’ts won’t even mention - Afghanistan.  Oh yes, there’s one more group of people draining the very lifeblood from our treasury - those worthless, tax-skating millionaires who only pay the tiny little capital gains tax on the money they earn by doing absolutely nothing other than being rich.

The surreptitious video was shot while Willard was speaking at a $50,000-a-plate dinner, you know, just as we all do when funds get a little tight.  Who among us hasn’t tweeted out to the homies to pony up fifty large for a nice meal and a chance to hear us talk trash about those who can’t afford $50K for a crappy night out.

Wife Ann “You-People-Have-Gotten-All-The-Tax-Returns-You’re-Going-To-Get” Romney said her exquisitely-coiffed hubby was taken out of context.  “This is a political campaign.  Mitt was telling a select crowd of very rich people, people we understand and adore, how he really feels.  Such statements cannot be taken as intentional by you people.  Everybody knows you don’t speak the truth in public during a campaign for president.  You say what people want to hear when you think they can hear you.  Mitt, though he was really speaking from his heart, never wanted outsiders - you know, the non-rich - to hear these things.  Those people who want everything handed to them, except the truth, simply don’t understand how the better half lives and they don’t want to.  They just want the kind of handouts that Mitt’s father had when he came to this country after his parents hid out in Mexico because of the whole one-man-one-woman nonsense.  ‘Give me five wives or give me death…or I’ll just move to Mexico,’ said Grandpa Romney.  His son George Romney was on welfare for years after immigrating to America.  And these people today want Social Security like Paul Ryan used to put himself through college while he marinated his brain in the magical atheism of Ayn Rand, who also hated Social Security and Medicare but dishonestly availed herself of both when it suited her needs.  Again, all of this is just totally out of context.”

Once Willard was finished laying out his domestic policy philosophy he moved on to his other specialty - foreign policy - and then he gave Iran some great advice, “If I were Iran - I mean - and - and a crazed fanatic, I’d say, ‘Let’s get a little fissile material to Hezbollah and have them carry it to Chicago or some other place, and then if anything goes wrong or America starts acting up, we’ll just say, ‘And guess what? Unless you stand down, why, we’re gonna let off a dirty bomb.’”  This is great stuff.  He’s running for president for Pete’s sake.

I don’t know about you but I think it’s damn well about time our presidential candidates started giving our enemies advice on how to attack us instead of bumbling along, getting appointed president and then just sitting around waiting for planes to crash into buildings.  Of course the good news is, at least he’s incoherent on foreign policy.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and more Romney wisdom) invited.

Of Lemmings And Men

Out Of The Mouths Of Boobs

                    or

Cads Say The Darndest Things 

In The Company of Lemmings

September 14, 2012

The Obama re-election campaign, besides being up to their eyeballs in the rising swamp of Romney/Ryan lies, is busy answering the age-old question that must be answered by every president seeking a second term – Are you better off today than you were four years ago?  Many things go into answering this important question.  How are my finances?  How is my job security?  What is the state of our Union?  How many wars are we in?  Am I dreaming?  Can I remember anything that happened more than a week ago?  Is Willard Romney serious?  Does Dick Cheney still have a pulse and a hunting rifle?  These are all meaningful issues for each of us as we prepare to go to the polls, assuming we have not been legislated out of maintaining our right to cast a vote. 

 

The Lemming Party, known by many as the Republican’ts, continue their death-spiral toward the precipice, unfazed by morality, reality, common sense or even a vague notion of national, if not personal self-preservation.  But who am I to pass judgment on a bunch of seemingly happy small-brained mammals who can think of nothing…oh sorry, something made me want to stop typing just then…nothing better than following each other blindly over a cliff?  Who could blame them?  It seems so easy, so peaceful…once it’s all over.  Almost rapturous.  Oh the bliss the Republican’ts must experience each day.



Naturally, it’s the Republican’ts asking us if we’re better off than we were four years ago.  That’s because they’re the ones with the automatic lobotomies every time a Democrat gets elected president.  And they want us all to be just like them, except without all the wealth.  Then they do their Chicken Little routine, which includes the need to convince everyone else that the world began the day the Democrat entered the Oval Office, which they explain is why everything sucks.  But if we’re not buying that Subscription-to-Surreality they move on to: “Yes there was a world, but prior to (insert Democrat’s name) taking over everything was running smoothly.  Anything bad happening isn’t our fault,” they shout, “everything was fine before (insert Democrat’s name); don’t you remember?  Of course you do.”  And as expected all the faithful Fux News addicts agree.  “Yeah, everything was fine four years ago, we do remember.  It’s that damn Obama, he ruined everything, probably because he was borned in Kenya while Karl Marx was king or president or whatever.  I hate that damned ni…nice guy.”

The thing is, this time around it seems so damn simple even a lobotomized lemming should be able to notice.  Although by my calculations the combined IQ of the Republican’t convention was around 85.  I have a feeling that somehow, many Americans can still remember back before Obama had the audacity to actually win an election…using votes…without the Supreme Court’s help or the assurance everything-will-turn-out-well one has by owning the voting machines, especially while being black.  But there’s one unspoken factor that outweighs them all, and here’s the bottom line: George W. Bush is not president.  If that isn’t a quantum-step up I don’t know what is. 

Not just America, but the entire world is clearly better off now for that one single fact.  George W. Bush is not president.  That can’t be said often enough.  Sure there’s a world-wide recession – it’s actually a depression but nobody wants to admit it out loud (and clearly set into motion by Bush/Cheney); sure our men and women are being killed every day in Afghanistan and throughout the Middle East (in huge part due to Cheney/Bush policies) and most of the western U.S. (as Republicant’s attack firefighters’ unions) are burning in their own special way - BUT, George W. Bush is not president (though the cancer he implanted in this country continues to eat away at our internal organs).  And even the lying, misanthropic Republican’ts know this is big, because they won’t be seen in public with George and they go to great lengths to deny he ever existed.  Even his own brother can barely mention him without suffering immediate gastric reflux.

But the Romnulans would have us believe that Obama made this huge mess for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  And poor rich, innocent conniving Willard just wants to take us back to the good-old-days of King George The W, when everyone was happy and all the trees were just the right height, back when a man could strap his favorite dog to the roof of his car and drive to his tiny, little heart’s content.  So Willard’s hired on all George’s best and brightest advisors to ensure the path forward takes us right back to the magical time when dimw(h)it(e) George was making the pie higher for all of us.  More wars, fewer social programs, less education, fewer voters, more tax cuts for the rich.  I’ll admit my fingers aren’t crossed, but my intestines are twisted in knots.

Republican’ts say that more tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans will lead to growth.  Just like cancer leads to growth – the growth of the tumor.  This is not an analogy, it’s an equivalence.  I know Romney isn’t someone you could have a beer with, but with any luck he likes pretzels.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and Randall Patrick McMurphy) invited.

Charge Of The White Brigade

You Built (Sh)it

The Republican’t National Convention 2012, The Afterbirthmath

September 1, 2012

 

 

    “If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.”

Joseph Goebbels/Republican’t Party 2012 mission statement

Hello sports fans. I'm back from Tampa and my exhaustive and excruciating coverage of the 2012 RNC.  Full disclosure: I was not in Tampa, it just seemed appropriate to open with a lie and I did not run a three-hour marathon.  I wanted to keep with the theme of the Assault-On-Reality that was the 2012 RNC.  Lying. 

For those of you wise enough to have ignored the Republican’t convention, I salute you; then I assault you.  You’re not getting off that easy.  Of course it’s no surprise that the Republican’t Party lies and stupids.  You go with your strengths.  But they didn’t just repeat their most important lies over and over.  They created a complete alternate reality, every word made up to fit the mood they need to create.  Goebbels would have been proud.  Just like their now-disavowed/disappeared past “president” they did everything possible to “catapult the propaganda,” but I don’t know where they’ll find the time to repeat all of the lies often enough.  I wish they’d just pick a few of the best ones and stick with them.  Speaking of disappeared former “presidents,” George’s little brother was invited to carry the Bush legacy forward, preferably without mentioning anything about the span of time between 2000 and 2008.  Talk about doing the dirty work.  You’d think he’d have changed his last name to Saud by now.

Jeb Bush, hoping Romney will lose so he can run in 2016, did give a shout-out to his idiot brother, “My brother, well, I love my brother.”  Now there’s a heartrending endorsement of the last Republican’t president.  Very warm that Bush family.  That was said right after he waxed nostalgic about his family’s selfless service to American politics, beginning with his grandfather.  What Jeb didn’t bother to mention was that his granddad, the great American, Prescott Bush, helped finance Hitler’s Third Reich.  A little thing I know, but somehow it seems like it could be important.  And I’m sure it was an oversight, due to the excrement excitement of the moment, that caused Jeb to omit his father’s long and profitable relationship with the Saudi royal family (including the Saudi prince they call Bandar Bush) as well as the bin Laden family - all very nice people I’m sure.  And, his brother, well, you know how I feel about his brother.  There’s no need to go on about The Worst “President” In American History.  That’s the past.  It has nothing to do with the present.  That was made clear every day by each and every Republican’t lying at the convention.

Choosing schools = choosing milk, buying broccoli = purchasing medical care – it’s all the same to Republican’ts.  They fight the good fight against women’s rights, against fighting poverty, against science, civil rights, education, taxes on rich people, universal health care, peace.  They promise to stop the environment.  They promise to put an end to evolution.  They know they can get Romney more than the 0% of the black vote he currently polls at.

They love their guns even though their beloved Second Amendment couldn’t keep their worst nightmare from happening – Obama in the White House.  They plan to fix that by running the guy they hate only slightly less – Willard Mitt Romney, or Rip Nomney as Paul Lyin’ Ryan called him in a recent interview.  Ryan, the only thing that might make Willard palatable to non-Mor(m)ons, also wowed the intellectually-and-factually-challenged crowd in Tampa, eliciting this glowing review: “...Ryan’s speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech.” - Sally Kohn, Fox News.  When pressed for explanation Romney campaign’s official pollster, Neil Newhouse told ABC news, “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers.”  Like I said, you go with your strengths.

Willard, the Sybil of policy positions, whined that “President Obama began with an apology tour. America, he said, had dictated to other nations. No Mr. President, America has freed other nations from dictators.”  On this The Willard is correct; it’s just that all the dictators we ousted were the same ones we put in power earlier.

The grand finale had the newest version of the Willard Mitt Romney device teleprompting his most carefully chosen words to the live audience, paid to be there in person, and out across the public airwaves that The Willard and his fellow Republican’ts must surely despise because they didn’t build it.  Normal humans watching this soliloquy would have only heard a small fraction of the actual message, most of which populates the range of sound audible only to dogs, bats and Tea Party denizens.

One human observer noted that The Willard began to choke up during his big speech.  He’s no John Boehner, whose normal alcohol levels allow him to cry at the drop of a hate.  What was actually happening at that moment was merely Romney exhibiting very typical vulture behavior.  Vultures circle around in search of the weak, the dying and the dead.  They eat the dead - nasty business, but some one’s got to do it.  They regurgitate the partially digested blacks Hispanics gays women detritus into their craws to fend off predators with a putrid stench that would choke a skunk.  This particular vulture was keenly aware that the crowd before him was much more comfortable detesting him than accepting him as their champion so his defenses were up.  But, the fact is, there’s a Black Man in the White House and this angry mob will do whatever it takes to fix this problem.  Anyway, this is what was interpreted as The Willard ‘choking up.’  An honest mistake I’m sure.  And probably the only honest thing to occur during the entire Republican’t convention. 

Oh, and Clint Eastwood talked to an empty chair for twelve minutes during prime time.  There wasn't a dry crotch in the house.

                                             They pledge allegiance to themselves

                                                  Not the United States of America
                                                  And screw the Republic for which it stands
                                                  What assholes, oh my God
                                                  Where’s liberty and justice for all?

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and Fred Thompson debating an empty chair) invited.

Oops, apparently Fred Thompson is an empty chair.