On The Road
May 22, 2017
I know there are times when this blog makes it appear as
though I am a bit put off, but I am always looking for the light at the end of
the tunnel. Believe me. But, I gotta tell you, at this point I am having a
difficult time finding the tunnel. Imagine the blowback if President Hillary
Clinton had done even one of the just-slightly-fewer-than-infinite-number of
insane and/or disastrous things Chrump has done in little over 100 days. The
Republican’ts were already threatening to investigate her to death if she had
won not just the popular vote but the antiquated Electoral College as well.
They are singing a painfully off-key different tune since the guy they publicly
hated right up until he was inaugurated took the reins.
Our Stooge-in-chief is embarrassing our nation, the people
who voted for him and possibly even himself. And not just embarrassing like
when you have a strip of toilet paper trailing from the heel of your shoe as
you walk down the aisle at your wedding, but like standing at the altar where
everyone can see the dark patch enveloping every square inch of your pants as
your bladder shamelessly empties itself down to the last drop.
Can you pick the winner? The Electoral College didn’t.
Chrump is embarrassing our nation as diplomats and leaders
the world over consider him a laughing stock. He is embarrassing his supporters
by causing them to defend an absolutely incompetent idiot who knows nothing
about how democracy works, how to manage classified information or apparently
that Russia has been anything but a friend to the United States for some time
now. They have to countenance a spoiled brat of a man who thinks nothing of
grabbing them by the Ruskie. It is possible that Chrump is also embarrassing
himself, but that is very unlikely given his utter lack of self awareness,
introspection or sense of shame.
Radical Chumpist
Turdism
He sure gave it to the Saudis…while he was on the campaign
trail. But like every other discouraging (at best) word he spewed about every
other leader (except of course Putin), while Chrump is a real tough guy from
afar, once he is face-to-face, he is a wimpy little kiss-ass. After bowing down
to the Saudi King – an act that drew apoplectic swooning from Republican’ts
when Obama performed the same ritual (at least Obama did not take a walk in the
park hand-in-hand with the Prince as did George W. Bush) – Chrump proceeded to
turn the other cheeks and bend all the way over for the Saudis for the whole
world to see. The only reason Chrump did not bow any lower is because he lives
on fast food and thinks exercise is bad for you because he believes that “the
human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise
only depletes.” The man makes Sarah Palin look like a genius.
“Don’t forget, there’s a big difference between kneeling
down and bending over.” Frank Zappa
down and bending over.” Frank Zappa
The gutless wonder, who during the campaign could barely
finish a sentence that wasn’t about building the wall, or crooked Hillary
Clinton, without squealing about the importance of saying the magic words
‘radical Islamic terrorism’, said nothing of the sort during his address in
Saudi Arabia. As Chrump has done when confronted with each and every world
leader he trashed, The Orange Gas Cloud rolled over like one of those little
bugs that curls up into a ball the moment you touch them. What happened to
“Donald J. Chrump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims
entering the United States…yada, yada, yada”? What about when he said, “I think
that Islam hates us”? Naturally, the American media once again made a pathetic
fuss over Chrump’s ability to briefly affect a presidential demeanor while
reading a bunch of words he does not even understand. This is like crediting a
chimpanzee with the ability to practice law because some jackass dressed him in
a tuxedo. SAD.
President Chrumpanzee*
The great deal maker gave the Saudis a great arms deal –
$110B, the biggest ever – and the Saudis gave $100M to Ivanka’s “charity” in
return. It’s good to be the kings. The math here is a bit fuzzy though. Chrump
whined about how Iran is thwarting peace, but he…well, Jared brokered the huge
sale of arms to Saudi Arabia. Now, correct me if I am mistaken, but aren’t arms
used for warlike activities? And were not 16 of the 19 hijackers on 9/11 Saudis?
Oh well, c’est la guerre I suppose. Meanwhile, the Saudis are buying up more
and more of our country. America First, bitches.
Plausible deniability is a phrase often heard when talking
about what presidents do and do not know in order to remain safe from things
like prosecution should something unpleasant or, dare I say, inappropriate take
place. In our new, improved alt-reality all we can see is extremely plausible
idiocy. After kissing up to the Saudis, our Load and Monster went to Israel to
damage some more global relationships in person. Hair Chrump took his left foot
out of his mouth, but only so he could give the right one a turn. I know what
you are thinking…Can’t he get both of his little feet into his big fat mouth at
the same time? Again I refer you back to the incessant fast food consumption
and the brilliant theory that exercise depletes one’s finite energy reserves,
or precious bodily fluids or some such thing.
Hey, Look Over There
While Chrump is busy hiding overseas hoping everyone will
forget about his tornado-like destruction of our democracy and its associated
infrastructure, Congress is busy trying to figure out how to take health care
away from as many people as possible. But not everyone, just the poor, the sick
and the elderly. So, if you are elderly and rich, no problem. If you are sick
and rich, no problem. If you are poor and rich, no problem.
Senate Republican’ts selected 13 of their caucus to re-craft
the fake repeal-and-replace of Obamacare that the Republican’t House of Resentatives
vomited into their laps. The 13 are no ordinary beings. Not only does each
whiter-than-white member of this gaggle of geezers have a dick, he is a dick.
These are the worst of the worst of what the 21st century has to offer. The
health care plan that is likely to emerge from these minds will make the Death
Star look like look like single-payer health care.
I am sure that Congress is also busy planning for what to do
when all the investigations ramp up. Who will be left standing? Who will stand
by their man? Who will save their own miserable hides?
Also bubbling up to the surface is Michael “Guilty-as-Sin”
Flynn, who is refusing to provide subpoenaed records pertaining to his working
for Putin and the Turkish government while in the employ of the federal
government…of the United States, that is. As one might imagine, one Donald J. Chrump
has weighed in on just such a topic:
I. Mangrey reporting.
*with sincerest apologies to Great Apes everywhere
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