The Chrump Has Hit the Fan

Disaster-in-chief

Nixonland
May 18, 2017

Many people are saying that Chrump’s firing of James Comey is reminiscent of Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre, when the Dick fired the special prosecutor investigating Watergate. The Nixon Library thinks Chrump is worse than Nixon.

By now everyone is aware that our so-called president is purging the government of anyone who is investigating his web of connections to Russian bankers, mobsters and political operatives. The Russians are literally laughing at us over Comey’s firing. Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov is laughing. Putin is laughing. Hours after firing Comey because of his investigation into Chrump’s Russia ties, Putin thought it would be a good time for Chrump to yuck it up with Lavrov and Ambassador Kislyak in the Oval Office. Kislyak is besties with Jeff Sessions, Mike Flynn, Paul Manafort, Carter Page, and who know how many other Chrumpies, all of whom lied about spending quality time with the Kiss Man, as I assume they refer to him. Chrump, for his part, allowed no American press to witness his reunion with his good buddies from Hammer-and-Sickle town. He did permit Russian press to join in the fun. While in some ways this might appear inappropriate and troubling, it might be safer having Russian operatives in the White House than having Chrump there.

Just in case the Russians were unable to plant listening devices, Chrump simply shared highly classified information with Lavrov and Kislyak…because, to paraphrase the world’s biggest idiot, “When you’re president they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy, or disclose classified information. Whatever you want.” This sensitive information was intended to remain classified by the country of origin (by most accounts – Israel), and had not been shared with our allies…or Congress. According to Rep. Barbara Comstock (R-VA), “We need to have immediate classified briefings on what occurred at this meeting so that Congress can at least know as much as Russian leaders.” Who knows what damage will ensue thanks to Der Furor’s lack of intelligence? That, I can’t tell you. But, I can give you hint who doesn’t give a shit either way – none other than the orange-colored, plastic-haired, five-slices-short-of-a-loaf, sociopath, alt-president called Chrump.

Lavrov, Chrump and Kislyak appear to be enjoying a heartless
laugh, but is Chrump laughing or soiling his diaper?

 

Chrump’s recent firing of FBI Director James Comey raised many questions and eyebrows as America sinks deeper and deeper into Post Chrump Stress Disorder (PCSD). Der Furor told Lester Holt, “When I decided [to fire Comey] I said to myself, this thing with Chrump and Russia is a made up story.” How the hell would he know? All that hairspray has him so high he cannot remember which side of which issue he is on, or what day it is. Chrump doesn’t just talk about himself in the third person, he talks to other people about talking to himself about himself in the third person. If his head were screwed on any less tightly, it would just be a Macy’s balloon tethered to Jell-O-like blob of human protoplasm.

Does giving classified information to our nemesis qualify
as “extremely careless” or is that classified information

Are we there yet?

H.R. Bluff’n’stuff

Meanwhile, Chrump has implied that he taped a conversation between Comey and himself. Chump invited Comey to the White House to demand Comey’s loyalty, an issue that apparently arose repeatedly. According to reliable sources, Comey refused to pledge loyalty to anything but whatever truth emerges in any investigation. The Ignoramus-in-chief still believes he can do whatever he wants – including firing anyone who gets close to the truth about his duplicity…or disagrees with him in any way. Soon the only ones left in the White House will be Chrump, Ivanka and Jared. That will be a great day, the best day, in making-America-great-again history.

Chrump believes that by removing the head of the FBI investigation into his ties with Russia, he can bring an end to the whole “Russia thing”. While Sean Spicer was hiding from reporters “among the bushes”, his stand-in said, “Look, we want this to come to its conclusion with integrity [Peace with honor, anyone?] and we think that by removing Director Comey, we’ve taken steps to make that happen.” Sarah Huckabee (yes, that Huckabee) Sanders (NO, not that Sanders) then turned tail and fled the briefing room faster than Chrump’s tiny little grabby hands backstage at one of his beauty pageants. One wonders just how long Hair Chrump can continue to try to sweep The Russia Thing under the rug on his head, as 78 percent (and growing) of Americans believe an independent investigation must be done.

Chrump is on a roll, and not just like to world’s largest glob of sun-ripened Spam on a bun. He is spitting out executive orders like the Deepwater Horizon well after the April 20, 2010 blowout that spewed oil into the Gulf of Mexico for almost three months. Chrump still thinks he is running one of his bullshit businesses where no one ever questions his hair-brained squawking and rip-off artistry.

El Chrumpidente

 

It is rumored* that Chrump will be signing an executive order stating that, “From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!” Many people are saying that this language was taken directly from the movie Bananas, but there is no proof of such an absurd accusation.

I. Mangrey reporting. Are you moaning with me or at me?              

                               
*beginning right now