Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Zen and The Art of Moron Maintenance

More Chrump Than You Can Shake a Stick At

Just Another Day
May 2, 2017
Last week, in a stunning and futile attempt to pretend something substantive is happening during his presidency, Chrump unveiled, well, more like tweeted his brand spanking new, super-duper tax plan, which is practically identical to every Republican’t tax plan you might remember. You can literally write the entire document on the head of a pin…with a crayon. Why a four-year-old child could easily understand this thing. Run out and get me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail out of it. But, seriously folks, it is very serious tax policy…sorry, still kidding. It is pathetically simple. It is as if a greedy child was advising the cabinet – almost as simple as the minds that clearly threw this thing together, over the most beautiful chocolate cake you have ever seen, at breakfast only hours before springing it on the American public. It says: Give as much money as possible to the wealthiest Americans and don’t make them pay taxes. How could that be bad?
The One Hundred Daze
Perhaps I have been a bit harsh on The Orange Gas Cloud. He has signed many executive orders since swearing at the oath of office. He more executive orders than any president except Franklin Roosevelt. Roosevelt, some may remember, had to dig us out from the Great Depression. Chrump is trying to dig us out of the recovery Barack Obama had to single-handedly attempt – since Republican’ts obstructed him every step of the way – to save America from the unequivocal disaster that was the Bush/Cheney administration.
Chrump has not even gotten within a mile of one single constructive idea, let alone legislation since taking over. Kill Obamacare, deport countless Mexicans, ban Muslims, appoint a radical right-wing Supreme Court Justice speak power to truth, repeal Obama's 2014 Fair Pay and Safe Workplaces order and enable other means of attacking women’s rights, order bombing attacks over dinner at the club to distract from the myriad investigations into his ties to Russia, attack the environment, take credit for the accomplishments of others. Everything Chrump has “accomplished” thus far in his alt-presidency is either an affront to humanity or an affront to Mother Earth. Or both.
It will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone reading this, that Chrump was not always a fan of executive orders.
 
Chrump literally blamed the Constitution’s provision for checks and balances built in to US governance. “It’s a very rough system,” he said. “It’s an archaic system … It’s really a bad thing for the country.” Yes, that pesky, disastrous Constitution is ruining this country. Highly over-rated. Worst constitution ever. Who the hell came up with that thing anyway? Many of them are probably dead or hiding out in Argentina. I expect Chrump to come up with some terrific to replace it. Very soon. Right after getting rid of Obamacare. And the wall. And the war with North Korea. Right after that. Until then, he will simply do as he pleases.
The Child-in-chief believes that he is president of his base. Everyone else is a criminal for criticizing the Great and Powerful Chrump. Too afraid to show his “face” at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Chrump instead ran to the mindless, loving bosom of his most loyal fans, those who literally would not bat an eye if, as Chrump said, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters.” His latest delusion/lie is that in his first 100 days, his administration has brought “profound change” to Washington. He certainly has changed how we deal with murderous dictators by kvelling over them and showing them the respect neither he nor they deserve.
World leaders are awesome.
I. Mangrey reporting. R.I.P Robert Pirsig.

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