Climate Crisis Crisis

Happer Happens

February 23, 2019

America’s favorite very stable genius has done it again.  Chrump is bringing in another of his “the best people”, this time we get one William Happer to lead a climate change (crisis) panel.  To the surprise of no one, he tapped not just your average everyday climate crisis denying moron, but one who believes that carbon emissions are an asset.

Why do you hate your children and grandchildren?

William Happer said this on live television in 2009, “The demonization of carbon dioxide is just like the demonization of the poor Jews under Hitler.  Carbon dioxide is actually a benefit to the world, and so were the Jews.”   

While I have to admit that at first blush I was thrilled to hear someone in the Chrump administration not being anti-Semitic, there might be some unpacking to do here before breaking out the Manischewitz.  Does Happer think it was only the poor Jews who were subjected to Hitler’s extermination policy?  Does he think that Jews are not people, but actually gasses?  Or maybe that carbon dioxide is a religion?

Carbon dioxide or Jews at Auschwitz?  Who can even tell the difference?

Happer is a physicist, which surprisingly did not disqualify him from heading Chrump’s fake panel.  We are supposed to believe that Chrump created the panel to re-evaluate the national security risks of climate change.  Happer might want to know that in 2016 a bipartisan group of military experts – the Climate Security Consensus project – released a statement and two reports warning that climate change poses a significant risk to U.S. national security.  The argued that the effects of climate change will put a strain on water, food and energy supplies, which could result in “unique and hard-to-predict security [national and international] risks.”  Their 2016 statement argued that the United States “must advance a comprehensive policy for addressing this risk.”  Somebody please let me know when this starts.

As a quick aside, here is Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who I do not think is a climate crisis denier, oldsplaining Washington, DC to a group of young children concerned about their future:

She is better than you because she just won a big election.
Now, where have I heard that tune before?  

We Now Return You To Our Regularly Scheduled Moron Already in Progress… 

Happer served under George H.W. Bush as director of the Office of Energy Research in the Department of Energy.  He was subsequently fired by Vice President Al Gore, reportedly for his refusal to support Gore’s views on climate change.  Happer also helped found the CO2 Coalition, a nonprofit created to publicize the benefits of carbon dioxide.  There is no confirmation of accusations that Happer tortures small animals, thinks coal is a food group, and believes that Donald Chrump’s “hair” color is natural.

I guess I will have to admit to being a William Happer denier.  There is simply no way that this shit-for-brains sonofabitch actually exists.

I. Mangrey vomiting.