April 13, 2019
After sending his soulless Education Secretary Ditsy DeVos
to testify before Congress, Boss Chrump had to backtrack on yet another
sociopathic move. DeVos had to answer
for a draconian slashing of the federal budget for Special Olympics. Something for which there is no answer. The uneducated, heartless Secretary, clearly
bent on providing Republican’ts a lifetime supply of poorly educated voters,
smiled and slimed her way through the House Appropriations subcommittee
questioning to the horror of most of America.
The backlash was quick and effective, causing her very special boss to
pretend he knew nothing about it, as he threw his loyal, if loony hatchet-lady
into the deep end, outfitted with lead boots and a cement overcoat. Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?
Chrump takes a brief break from
stupid tweeting to say something stupid out loud
The Orange Gas Cloud fumed, “I had no idea that I was
slashing the budget for Special Olympics.
Someone must have had me sign it while I was busy golfing or watching
the very important Fux and Friends. Then
I realized, hey I’m special, so maybe I shouldn’t take money away from special. Or maybe Ditsy did this all on her own and
never told me she was doing it. Who can
tell? I’m pretty sure whatever it is, it’s
not my job.”
The Chrump administration also wants to slash federal
funding for literacy programs because Republican’ts believe the only things the
federal government is good for are funding the military and cutting taxes for
the richest fraction of a percent of Americans.
The most ignorant, incurious, uninformed presidents in American history
explained, “I don’t know what the fuss is all about. Reading is for losers anyway. I never read a book in my life and I got
elected president by the biggest landslide I’ve ever heard of. I also had the biggest crowd ever watching me
get sworn at…I mean in. I proved that
winning is better than reading. So much
winning. So little reading. I still don’t read anything, except my own
tweets, which are very brilliant. I am
so proud of me for doing so much America great making. I hear George Washington read stuff and wasn’t
so smart.” And the following is a reported
actual quote during Chrump’s visit to Washington’s historic home at Mt. Vernon,
“If he was smart, he would’ve put his name on it. You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one
remembers you.” If only our first
president had found a way to be remembered.
If only our 45th president can some day be forgotten.
One More Horrible
Thing
On the heels of very strong and powerful
denials by his administration that any serious thoughtwas given to shipping asylum seekers to so-called sanctuary
cities, Chrump threw yet another bunch of just-following-orders underlings
under the bus. Several White House
officials admitted that the idea of sending immigrants to cities that swore to protect
anyone living within their borders from the Reckless-Racist-in-chief’s dream of
internment camps or mass shootings of those looking to enter America for a better
life, was brought up, but quickly discarded.
No sooner had the lies left their lips, did Chrump tweet:
Der Furor backed up his disgraceful tweet with a doubling
down in front of cameras, “We will bring the illegals...to sanctuary city areas
and let that particular area take care of it, whether it is a state or whatever
it might be. California is certainly
always saying they want more people, and if they want more people in their
sanctuary cities, we will give them more people. We can give them an unlimited supply. And
let's see if they are so happy. They say they have open arms. They
always say they have open arms. Let's see if they have open arms.”
To be fair, Chrump does not see these refugees as
people. To Chrump they are vermin,
animals, unwanted product (something the Chrump brand is exceedingly familiar
with) to be foisted off in an act of revenge against anyone who dares defy his
edicts.
This of course, is on the heels of Chrump telling Homeland
Security officials to violate immigration law by shutting down the border, while
promising that he would pardon them if they went to jail.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Oy.
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