You Damn Sure Don’t Need A President to Know Which Way The Wind Blows

Least of All This Dimple-Brained Half-Wit

September 3, 2019

America's biggest loser took time away from his busy golfing schedule - it was only five minutes, but hey, what do want, the guy is donating all of his legal pay (at least he says he is), and working for nothing.  Well, not for nothing exactly.  He is raking in money from any number of people – including Bill Barr who is tossing his boss $30K to rent space at Chrump’s DC hotel (which in itself is a violation of the law) for a holiday party, and Mike “Let us not forget just how vile and dangerous this phony religious zealot is” Pence, who made sure to stay at a Chrump resort 180 miles away from his meetings in Ireland so that his boss could reap untold profits.  Did Chrump mention that he's really rich?  I think he did.  So many times, it simply cannot be true.  Another way we know this is not true is that if it was true, he would show us his tax returns, but he says it anyway. 

As I was saying, the giant cheese puff that walks like a man (sort of) took a break from cheating at golf to weigh in of Hurricane Dorian...“Not sure I'm not sure I ever heard of a Category 5, I knew it existed.  I've seen some Category 4s, you don't even see them that much, but a Category 5 is something that I don't even know if I've heard the term other than I know it's there, and that's the ultimate, and that's what we have unfortunately.”  And with that, America became just a little dumber and fell even deeper into its Chrump-induced depression/coma, the likes of which no one has ever seen other than when they saw it before…the last time Chrump said or did something that had anyone with a functional heart or mind weeping and vomiting.
Chrump, who said he was carefully monitoring the hurricane situation from his golf course, also spent a good bit of the holiday weekend rattling off some 120 tweets, including– not for the first time, mind you – what to all appearances was satellite imagery that officials admitted bore all the markings of a spy-satellite image in a tweet taunting Iran.  Yes, this is the qresident of the United States almost literally waving his tiny, little pecker around in public, thinking he is getting one over on his enemies.  His main enemy would appear to be the United States of America.
 
Our Commander-in-cheat also felt it necessary to insert himself further into the devastating hurricane that had the temerity to push his toxic orange ass from the headlines by tweeting more of his patently stupid shit:

Surprising to no one, Chrump must have been tweeting from his perch on the toilet since his information was clearly pulled right out of his ass.  The National Weather Service (NWS) of Birmingham, Alabama, acting like a good first responder, quickly tried to assure a needlessly worried Alabama that, no, in fact they were not in the path of Dorian, though they could not say that Alabama was any safer from the less natural disaster that is Donald Chrump than anyone else.

Chrump, even when he is dead wrong, will not put up with a bunch actual facts that make him look bad or stupid, or pathetic or worthless, perhaps in part, because no one does it better than Chrump himself.  In this case, qresident shit-for-brains took about 36 hours to come up with a worthless, pathetic and incredibly stupid – not to mention completely false – rejoinder to NWS Birmingham:

I. Mangrey reporting.  Blow the man down already.