Boys Will Be Schmucks

Whole Lotta Grabbin’ Going On

January 11, 2020

I know that Nancy Pelosi just announced that she would be sending two articles of impeachment over to Moscow Mitch’s International House of Dead Legislation.  It seems a fait accompli that the beautiful Chrump impeachment is poised to be murdered in its sleep at the hands of McConnell.  So, before it is too late, I wanted to get this off my plate.  Since the day the full House of Representatives approved two (should have been at least five or six, but hey, what do I know) articles of impeachment, and Nancy Pelosi decided to let them ferment until her counterpart in the Senate set the ground rules.

Pelosi makes one last attempt to talk sense to the world’s most powerful toddler

Naturally, Republican’ts want to make this impeachment go away before their impeached imbecile loses his signature cool…just kidding.  During this time, when Chrump wasn’t busy flexing his “hair” to show who is boss, he was carefully calculating how to play this dangerous impeachment game…just kidding.

Chrump relaxes at one of his rallies while awaiting McConnell’s impeachment whitewash

“I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. ... Grab ‘em by the pussy. You can do anything.”  With the possible exception of a dozen or so women who continue to insist that they were the victims of unwanted sexual advances and assaults at the tiny but busy hands of one Donald Chrump.

I know everyone is familiar with this despicable quote from our despicable impeached-president shortly before the 2016 election, and barely hours before his Russian benefactors unleashed Hillary Clinton’s emails in order to bury Chrump’s call to harms on the Access Hollywood bus in the waning days of the campaign.  Chrump attempted to brush the whole sordid thing under the labyrinthian carpet stuck atop his melon, calling it nothing more than locker room talk.  Many men and many locker rooms ultimately weighed in, saying, “Nobody talks like that.  That was just disgusting.”  Chrump no care.  Chrump win anyway.  Chrump strong, America stupid.

It seems Nancy Pelosi has ripped a page out of Chrump’s locker room playbook (I hope she was wearing protective gloves).  The Speaker decided she had had enough, and got herself a firm grip on the lady parts of both Mitch McConnell and Donald Chrump. 

And when you’re Speaker of the House, the let you do it.  you can do anything. …Grab ‘em by the pussy.  You can do anything.  Right now Pelosi has both hands full.  One pussy in each hand.  I hope she cuts off their blood supply.

I know it might not look like Pelosi’s grip on these two pussies is as strong as it once was, but this thing isn’t over until the bloated orange swine squeals.  And not just his regular, everyday squealing, it will sound much different.  I’m not convinced the Speaker has played her final hand.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Locker room comments invited.